Can you afford to live!

You think of yourselves as separate though, that shows in the way you think you are making her pay for something or the need to separate disposible income.

We simply don't have that separate mindset. I'm not denigrating how you or anyone lives, I just don't get it, we discuss pretty much any purchase either of us want to make (normally me and technology) and if WE can afford it then fine. It's simple and works for us.

We both think it is very important to keep a sense of self. Love is great, but you shouldn't lose yourselves in the concept of 'us', we don't believe that it's healthy.
 
We both think it is very important to keep a sense of self. Love is great, but you shouldn't lose yourselves in the concept of 'us', we don't believe that it's healthy.


Financial interdependence doesn't mean losing yourself. It simply means a shared committment to the future.

Not wishing to make a committment in a long-term relationship is unhealthy and indicates an unwillingness to fully trust one another.


We are separate individuals who bring different things to our single family. Financial co-dependence adds to that family, it doesn't detract from our individuality.
 
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If my girlfriend ever gets a job I'll let you know if we can afford to move out and live.

I see it being a struggle though, as I don't exactly have huge amounts of left over cash each month as it is.

I guess I could stop putting into savings, but then rather than be unable to afford to live for the moment, I'd be unable to provide for my future.
 
Financial interdependence doesn't mean losing yourself. It simply means a shared committment to the future.

Not wishing to make a committment in a long-term relationship is unhealthy and indicates an unwillingness to fully trust one another.


We are separate individuals who bring different things to our single family. Financial co-dependence adds to that family, it doesn't detract from our individuality.

But we are only splitting a small part of our earning, the rest is jointly spent. It means that the individual money can be spent on whatever we want, without the need for any justification, so she can buy overpriced shoes if she desires, and I can rinse a Steam weekend deal. :)
 
I pay £650 two-bedroom flat city centre. bills are low because we're good with electricity/water/gas. 700 for a studio is nuts.
 
Thread has started to turn into a very interesting one. Really good to see different views about the bills / income, who pays what etc.

Me and the gf are moving into our 1st house in September (a few who have been following the build thread still can't believe!).

We both have very similar wages and already have a joint savings account in which we save. We are going to be opening a joint current account - we will have both wages paid in and have 2 debit cards (1 each).

Both have very different careers (I am in Sales, gf is a nurse) in which we both have potential to move up the ladder making one of us earn more money than the other. Neither has a problem in this and will still split 50/50.

To the OP, £60 after everything is not a bad figure, have you budgeted for any savings? I think me and the gf have approx £150 - £200 a week after savings (£200 - £300 a month), however I really cannot see us spending this amount and can see having £60 a week not being a problem the remainder will just be banged into the savings!

End of the day all depends on your lifestyle. I am quite happy to buy in a crate of beer / wine & chill out watching films over the weekend or have friends over and have a bbq, meal, takeaway which between 2 of us may come to £40. If you are a party animal needing to be out on the town every weekend, you may struggle on £60 a week!
 
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Not bein funny but why are you moving if it's not finacially viable? Just talk about it or get a different full time job? Why put yourself under stress and not have a good time just for moving?
 
Not bein funny but why are you moving if it's not finacially viable? Just talk about it or get a different full time job? Why put yourself under stress and not have a good time just for moving?

Friend is moving, cant move with him, he was my land lord so there goes that easy living!

Worst part of it is how restricting my girlfriends job is, she doesnt drive so its buses or push bike and there just isnt much around at the moment! well nothing really affordable lol :p


Aww well we will have to reorganize our cash flow and maybe spend a bit more! wages can only go up!
 
To the OP, £60 after everything is not a bad figure, have you budgeted for any savings? I think me and the gf have approx £150 - £200 a week after savings (£200 - £300 a month), however I really cannot see us spending this amount and can see having £60 a week not being a problem the remainder will just be banged into the savings!


nope, doing any sort of savings would lower the boat even more :< we have managed to save about 2.5k in the last 5-6 months so we have an emergency fund
 
nope, doing any sort of savings would lower the boat even more :< we have managed to save about 2.5k in the last 5-6 months so we have an emergency fund

Atleast you have that as a cushion, better than nothing mate. We plan on saving hard toget a nice cushion behind us then can ease off the savings if needed.
 
But we are only splitting a small part of our earning, the rest is jointly spent. It means that the individual money can be spent on whatever we want, without the need for any justification, so she can buy overpriced shoes if she desires, and I can rinse a Steam weekend deal. :)

I understand what you mean. We don't have to justify our personal spending to each other either, we simply don't feel the need to separate our personal money.

If the wife want to spend £600 on a handbag (which she frequently feels the need to do) I don't question it, and equally if I want it fork out on a new GPU, she doesn't question that either. We seem to have grown out of the pocket-money stage of our relationship maybe, I don't know, but it does seem that we are in the minority among our friends and the general consenus here.


Do you have an equal amount of "personal money" allocated to you, or is it based on what you earn? I mean, are the houshold bills etc, split equally between you regardless of income and the rest shared equally between you?
 
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No issues with affording to live, really happy with the situation i've worked hard to get myself into and really looking forward to what the future has to offer :)
 
I understand what you mean. We don't have to justify our personal spending to each other either, we simply don't feel the need to separate our personal money.

If the wife want to spend £600 on a handbag (which she frequently feels the need to do) I don't question it, and equally if I want it fork out on a new GPU, she doesn't question that either. We seem to have grown out of the pocket-money stage of our relationship maybe, I don't know, but it does seem that we are in the minority among our friends and the general consenus here.

I see what you mean, and I guess it depends on what sort of joint disposable pot you are looking at.

If we had a £200 joint pot, and my gf spent £150 of it, and then something I wanted for £100 came up a week later, I would miss out on it.

This way we can spend (or save) as we see fit for our own frivolous desires.

Btw, we also have joint savings for the big things.
 
Aww well we will have to reorganize our cash flow and maybe spend a bit more! wages can only go up!

oh gawd no ;)

spend less...always spend less than you earn. what if one of you is made redundant.

I want to see everything itemised for a month's spend and you give a good reason why you can't get it any cheaper (eg give us a good reason why you can't get rid of the car and use London's public transport etc). Everything including cloathes divided by 12. Try not to guess, work it out.
 
Do you have an equal amount of "personal money" allocated to you, or is it based on what you earn? I mean, are the houshold bills etc, split equally between you regardless of income and the rest shared equally between you?

all gets lumped in, he is then given a weekly transfer to his own account for pressys, hitech stuff, golf etc, whatever he wants, the rest all comes out of the house pot, including pub, holidays, clothes etc, his wee bit is really his to do with as he likes, not day to day stuff. I get the same small spends. And he has an unlimited credit card which is paid from me, he never takes the mic, and now always remembers the receipt.

He works 'for' ( read 'with', but he is PAYE) me as well. I employ him, now that one can be tricky as a very alpha 'alpha' he hates being asked/told what to do in front of people, so we work it out over coffee in the morning before the troops arrive for work.

neither of us could function without the other, we are welded.
 
I have £100/week after everything has been paid.

However this is due to me paying £500/week with the intention of paying off all my debts within 6 months. So if there was a emergency it can be adjusted to suit accordingly.
 
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