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Caporegime
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 28,767
- Location
- Auckland
♪ "If you're quadriplegic and you know it, clap your hands!" ♪
---
Mike moves to a new town and decides to take a walk to get acquainted with the place.
As he's walking, he comes upon a home for the mentally handicapped, and he can hear a large group of them yelling "37! 37! 37!".
Curious, he tries to look around to see what has them so excited, but, a sturdy wooden fence prevents him from seeing anything.
All the while, the retards keep chanting "37! 37!"
Determined to know the reason for the chanting, he walks along the fence until he sees a small knothole.
He kneels down and peeks inside. As soon as he does, one of the retards jabs him in the eye with a stick.
"38! 38! 38!"
---
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints
---
A college girl stumbles home after a night on the town and knocks on her blond roommate's door. "Honey, I just have to tell you about the crazy night I had. I got wasted at the bar and slept with a Brazilian guy!"
The blond looks outraged. "You ****!" Then she pauses, looking throughtful. "Wait, how many is a brazilian?"
---
What's pink, 12 inches long and makes women scream?
Cot death.
---
Michael J. Fox goes into a Baskin Robbins, walks up to the counter, and says, "Hi, I'd like one scoop please."
The girl behind the counter responds, "Sure, what flavor would you like?"
Michael J. Fox, somewhat put-out, says, "It doesn't matter. I'm just going to ******* drop it."
---
I'm so, so sorry. I'll get my coat.
---
Mike moves to a new town and decides to take a walk to get acquainted with the place.
As he's walking, he comes upon a home for the mentally handicapped, and he can hear a large group of them yelling "37! 37! 37!".
Curious, he tries to look around to see what has them so excited, but, a sturdy wooden fence prevents him from seeing anything.
All the while, the retards keep chanting "37! 37!"
Determined to know the reason for the chanting, he walks along the fence until he sees a small knothole.
He kneels down and peeks inside. As soon as he does, one of the retards jabs him in the eye with a stick.
"38! 38! 38!"
---
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints
---
A college girl stumbles home after a night on the town and knocks on her blond roommate's door. "Honey, I just have to tell you about the crazy night I had. I got wasted at the bar and slept with a Brazilian guy!"
The blond looks outraged. "You ****!" Then she pauses, looking throughtful. "Wait, how many is a brazilian?"
---
What's pink, 12 inches long and makes women scream?
Cot death.
---
Michael J. Fox goes into a Baskin Robbins, walks up to the counter, and says, "Hi, I'd like one scoop please."
The girl behind the counter responds, "Sure, what flavor would you like?"
Michael J. Fox, somewhat put-out, says, "It doesn't matter. I'm just going to ******* drop it."
---
I'm so, so sorry. I'll get my coat.
