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I have now done a fresh install on a different partition, let Windows install default drivers for everything, then installed 258.96. And nothing.
Crap... Not good.
Well, I would try a BIOS update, and perhaps a different set of chipset drivers. But, if that doesn't work, I think you might have to RMA the motherboard. Which is a royal PITA.
have you tried using a different sli bridge yet?
Have you tried resetting your overclock? I'm wondering if it could be affecting the PCI-E controller built into the CPU...
I was also going to suggest flashing both cards with an identical BIOS (back up originals with GPU-Z if you do) but it's unlikely to be that if the second card isn't even working for Physx.
One man, one GPU. Thats what I say.
Aside from its possible the motherboard has issues or doesn't have an SLI compatible BIOS... SLI can be a bit "rigid" with regards to hardware restrictions its possible that running a Xeon on a desktop board doesn't fall within its "authorised" hardware for some random reason sounds a bit of a stretch tho.