Parental advice

WaynelleUK09 · 18 Oct 2010 at 21:51

2 friends of mine had a little boy last year, since then they have split up.

It's got pretty nasty between the 2 of them, mainly because she is still in love with him but he doesn't want her back. It was arranged that he would have the baby every weekend Fri-Sun which suits the mother down to the ground so she can now go out every weekend as well as a few week nights as well!!

His Dad has a job on a weekend working in a bar until he gets a full time job so it means he is having to give the baby to his Mam while he is at work. So he has been back to court to see if he can change his days to a weekday instead of a weekend until he finds a full time job, which was refused because the baby's mother refused to accept it. The only reason she doesn't want to do that is because it will get in the way of her weekends out, whereas he has work commitments so I can't see why the judge would refuse! As long as he has him every week I don't see the problem.

Has anyone else been in this position that could maybe help? I said I would try and help him as she is making his life a nightmare at the moment

Thanks

Rich_L · 18 Oct 2010 at 21:55

He needs to either hire a lawyer and get some proper advice, engage the services of a mediator or in my non-lawyer opinion next time he goes to Court make a bigger deal about how his proposal in in the best interest of his child - not necessarily his best interests - it is the child's interests which the Court is supposed to have as the primary consideration.

As with most family cases engaging the services of a lawyer usually means a couple of things, it costs a lot of money, and most likely both people will be equally unsatisfied with the result - by far, far and away the best way is to try and work something out amicably with the mother.

Raumarik · 18 Oct 2010 at 21:55

Does the mother work? If not then the only way to get this changed is via an adult conversation.

cm1179 · 18 Oct 2010 at 21:55

WaynelleUK09 said:
The only reason she doesn't want to do that is because it will get in the way of her weekends out,

then he made the right decision to not be with her

WaynelleUK09 · 18 Oct 2010 at 22:01

Rich_L said:
He needs to either hire a lawyer and get some proper advice, engage the services of a mediator or in my non-lawyer opinion next time he goes to Court make a bigger deal about how his proposal in in the best interest of his child - not necessarily his best interests - it is the child's interests which the Court is supposed to have as the primary consideration.

As with most family cases engaging the services of a lawyer usually means a couple of things, it costs a lot of money, and most likely both people will be equally unsatisfied with the result - by far, far and away the best way is to try and work something out amicably with the mother.

I doubt he will have the money for a good lawyer as he only has a little weekend job for now so taking her back to court is maybe the only option he has left and hopefully the court will see through her and go in his favour

WaynelleUK09 · 18 Oct 2010 at 22:02

Halfmad said:
Does the mother work? If not then the only way to get this changed is via an adult conversation.

No she doesnt work, she does nothing which is why nobody can understand why the court agreed with her, she has no weekend commitments, other than her nights out. They should be encouraging him to work for the sake of his son!

Vonhelmet · 18 Oct 2010 at 22:08

Incredible. People having children in unstable relationships run into massive problems.

Sorry, perhaps I'm not feeling terribly sympathetic this evening.

Vulcan · 18 Oct 2010 at 22:18

WaynelleUK09 said:
The only reason she doesn't want to do that is because it will get in the way of her weekends out

Mother of the year!

Seriously, why have a child if you don't want to raise it.