Children And How They Are Brought Up.

Von Smallhausen

Von Smallhausen

Von Smallhausen

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Someone I know works for the NHS as a nurse in a children's ward.

I was told an interesting story when a young female child was admitted with an ailment and had her parents with her, described as ' chavs ' who did not work, seemingly had no intention of working and looked the part complete with with formerly desirable sportswear.

Anyway, the person I know saw the father with his daughter in the ward room and a police car was heard nearby with the sirens wailing.

The father asked the child what that noise was ad the child, about 3 years old, said ' Nee nar pigs. ' Basically the sound heard and who was in the car. This was met with laughter and praise from the father.

To add a flip side, my dad was a bit of a ' lad ' when he was younger although he died 6 years ago. He was beer and fight man during his younger days who was no fan of the police yet he was a good man at the same time and brought me and my siblings up well and wouldn't stand for any disrespect shown to others. His dislike of the police was never passed onto me by him. He also didn't blink when I said I was applying for the cops and indeed was very supportive, even paying 2 grand for me to get short sightedness corrected as my vision beforehand did not meet the requirements needed.

It seems to me that the ' chav ' is priming his kid to follow in her footsteps as one of societies takers and not a contributor although I hope I am wrong.

I would be interested in peoples' thoughts on this. Is it right that someone should effectively brainwash a child at such a young age to dislike the police or the authorities ?
 
If dislike of the police was just one of the negative influences her parents are imparting on the 3 year old she wouldn't be so badly off.

Kids like that are largely doomed even before they are born.
 
Von Smallhausen said:
I would be interested in peoples' thoughts on this. Is it right that someone should effectively brainwash a child at such a young age to dislike the police or the authorities ?
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Simple answer is no but then parents will try and brainwash their kids into anything these days whether it be police, teachers or even different coloured kids.

Sad state of society we live in if this thing is actively encouraged.
 
While the police aren't perfect angels I'm damn well going to bring my kids up to respect and like them as a force for good.

Side note: My 15 month old daughter recently waved at a copper on a motorbike, she was delighted (as was I, secretly) that he waved back :D
 
Just to add, I have never had a negative experience with the Police force, I was stopped the other day for the first time in 15 years for turning right down a street that said no right turn, he was very friendly, pointed out my mistake and let me on my way. The Police do a good job and dont deserve the negative press, I have more of an issue with the courts and they gay sentences they dish out, I bet it realy frustrates the Police when criminals are given poultry sentences.
 
I can relate to the op's post, my old fella was of a similar mindset, me and my 3 older brothers all respected him and feared him equally, he could out drink out fight and out **** the 4 of us combined lol or so he told us

sadly it cost him his marriage to a truly wonderful woman.


None of us ever swore in the house, sure ma and pa knew that once we were out and about we'd be at it like troopers, yes we had run ins with the police now and then for relatively minor things usually under the influence and acting dumb rather than flaunting the law or being disrespectful.

We always respected the police, it was never personal, never them and us, we knew the rules and we also knew if we broke them then chances are there was a price to pay, these days prejudice towards the police seems to be bred in from day one :(

It's not just the "chavs" although they are the worst offenders, I'm seeing a great girl, she's worked hard all her life with no more than a week out of work since leaving school ( excluding maternity leave ) she has 14 yr old son who's bright and funny, works hard at school and get's good grades, he wants for nothing and considering she's been a single parent for over ten years they've both bucked the trend and are the antithesis of the single parent model.

However, I sit there night after night grinding my teeth as common little things happen, he'll call his mum a douche bag, then in the same breath his grandmother, they laugh it off at first but after 5 mins of it they'll pull him and say enough, last night was a good example, he'd been on BO on the ps3 since 3pm and at 7pm I said to his mum I think he ought to take a break, sure enough she called him down and we all ate together, he woofed his grub down in 3 mins and went back to playing.

"half an hour more and that's it" she said, two hours later he's still on it. I think a lot of parents have become lazy these days, it's easier to merely allow a status quo to continue rather than expend any energy in correcting "minor" behavioural problems.

She's talked about me moving in at some point, and whilst our relationship is great I feel this yawning chasm between what we both find acceptable in a young person / child. I've got two options either keep my opinions to myself and hope it doesn't drive a wedge between us or voice them and wait for the barrage of defensive comments about parenting.
 
semi-pro waster said:
* rasp *
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And in fact nicked the rest of my post where I was making a point related to the original topic... :p

//edit - no worries Von. :)

All I was saying before is that I'd probably extend the idea of not brainwashing children a bit further - while we expect parents/teachers etc to try to instill values there's possibly a bit of difficulty in determining what constitutes unhelpful/damaging values and what is useful to help them be productive members of society. Ideally I'd think you want to give children as unbiased information as possible but then again you've got to give them a foundation to build from.

For instance I see quite a few children who are dreadfully scared of dogs and that's often a direct influence from the parents which I find sad but it must be very difficult not to pass on your fears/prejudices as a parent.
 
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Von Smallhausen said:
Is it right that someone should effectively brainwash a child at such a young age to dislike the police or the authorities ?
Click to expand...

Is it right that young children are brainwashed to believe in a Religion? Both are the same thing, adults imprinting their views (Right or wrong..) on impressionable children.
 
snapdragon said:
I can relate to the op's post, my old fella was of a similar mindset, me and my 3 older brothers all respected him and feared him equally, he could out drink out fight and out **** the 4 of us combined lol or so he told us

sadly it cost him his marriage to a truly wonderful woman.


None of us ever swore in the house, sure ma and pa knew that once we were out and about we'd be at it like troopers, yes we had run ins with the police now and then for relatively minor things usually under the influence and acting dumb rather than flaunting the law or being disrespectful.

We always respected the police, it was never personal, never them and us, we knew the rules and we also knew if we broke them then chances are there was a price to pay, these days prejudice towards the police seems to be bred in from day one :(

It's not just the "chavs" although they are the worst offenders, I'm seeing a great girl, she's worked hard all her life with no more than a week out of work since leaving school ( excluding maternity leave ) she has 14 yr old son who's bright and funny, works hard at school and get's good grades, he wants for nothing and considering she's been a single parent for over ten years they've both bucked the trend and are the antithesis of the single parent model.

However, I sit there night after night grinding my teeth as common little things happen, he'll call his mum a douche bag, then in the same breath his grandmother, they laugh it off at first but after 5 mins of it they'll pull him and say enough, last night was a good example, he'd been on BO on the ps3 since 3pm and at 7pm I said to his mum I think he ought to take a break, sure enough she called him down and we all ate together, he woofed his grub down in 3 mins and went back to playing.

"half an hour more and that's it" she said, two hours later he's still on it. I think a lot of parents have become lazy these days, it's easier to merely allow a status quo to continue rather than expend any energy in correcting "minor" behavioural problems.

She's talked about me moving in at some point, and whilst our relationship is great I feel this yawning chasm between what we both find acceptable in a young person / child. I've got two options either keep my opinions to myself and hope it doesn't drive a wedge between us or voice them and wait for the barrage of defensive comments about parenting.
Click to expand...


You want a 14 year old boy to go to bed at 7:30pm or do you want him to be outside drinking and causing trouble like you and your brothers did?

I don't get it, I'm confused as to what your idea of parenting is. Do you have kids?
 
My mother raised me in a similar manner. Some children will grow up to be like their parents, some will grow up in spite of their parents and be their polar opposites.
 
Welfare dependency and worklessness tends to run from one generation to another (example source) so this doesn't surprise me at all.

What does surprise me is the opposition from the left whenever measures are proposed to try and end this cycle by encouraging people to go out and find work, even if it isn't particularly good work.
 
franco_22 said:
You want a 14 year old boy to go to bed at 7:30pm or do you want him to be outside drinking and causing trouble like you and your brothers did?

I don't get it, I'm confused as to what your idea of parenting is. Do you have kids?
Click to expand...


so the choices are bed at 7:30pm or out on the streets ? neither but what I do want is for him and his mother to recognise that spending so many hours lumped in front of his PS3 isn't healthy for him.

Yes at 14 we did go out did have drinks but we knew where to draw the line ( ish ) wherever we did get pulled by the police we at least admitted it was as a result of our own stupidity, we learned lessons from it and moved on, we simply didn't whinge about it being because of fascist dictator-ism on the polices behalf.

Yes I've got two children to my former partner, so yes I do know what I'm talking about from first hand experience as opposed to randomly spouting off, for the record my own sons have the same issues with their mother, out to all hours, constant arguing, poor communication. This is a direct result of her influence.

As I was brought up to respect my parents, and never swore in the house or around them I passed that on to my sons, I also accepted that as a part of a normal childhood they would swear when out with mates, I'll give you an example of my parenting style and you tell me if I'm wrong.

Last year my eldest had been in a blow out with his mum, leading to her pressing charges for assault upon him, as part of his bail conditions he came to reside with me for 3 months, during that time Halloween fell, he came in one night and asked me if he could go out for "devil's night" with a few mates.

I told him it wasn't the smartest idea as the fact he already has one criminal damage charge against him and a pending assault case would no doubt mean that should anything go wrong (as it can often do ) e.g someone puts a window through or some other trouble ensues then he's already at a disadvantage with regards to any police involvement.

I instead suggest we get some quality horror movies in, he could have a few mates over, I'd treat them to a take out and I'd leave them to it, 4 of his best mates came over around 8pm went up to the local kfc and got a bucket in with some other bits, I went off to my local which is a 5 minute walk away.

I came back at around 1 am to find them all hiding behind cushions on the sofa, sleeping bags everywhere, boxes plates etc all put in the kitchen, I joined them and stayed up until around 3 ish whilst we watched [REC.] the next day I took them all to the local pool club where we had a mini 9 ball tourney.

my kids know that when I say no I mean no, however I always give an explanation and can justify it, my old man used to say no just because and that was it end of, I try to take the strength and commitment from him and temper it with the compassion and love that my mother gave us.
 
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