I AM NOT COLD! Christmas moans in here thread.

[Jonny69]

I'm sitting here all warm, snugged up under a blanket on the sofa, glass of port with her laptop and watching a Carrie Grant film over the top. If her parents say 'you're not cold are you?' to me one more time I swear there will be a brutal Christmas murder. You've already denied me turkey for the nth year running and this year you've got my hopes up and cancelled the goose last minute. Now sod off and leave me alone

That is all.

 

[Van Hellseek]

Yay xmas?

 

[CaptainComedy]

why do you not have turkey!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!??!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?! god man go get one!

person below me is really sexy

 

[Van Hellseek]

 

[Jonny69]

why do you not have turkey!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!??!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?! god man go get one!

They don't "do" turkey

 

[CaptainComedy]

They don't "do" turkey

then give them beans. you have the succulent (well it's usually pretty dry) turkey with everything and make really happy noises while chowing down!

 

[JBuk]

beans>turkey

 

[Tummy]

They don't "do" turkey

W T F are you eating today?

 

[Van Hellseek]

beans>turkey

Door is that way -->

 

[Sime]

Im seriously ill and cant find the strength to do anything

Cant enjoy the day and my familys downstairs eating Christmas Dinner becuase i cant look at food without feeling ill

 

[Pate]

This reminds me of Frankie Boyles brilliant vegetarian joke . Which I would link but it has a naughty word in... oh no..

It's Christmas! Do it!

 

[Jonny69]

What are you actually having to eat then?!

Half raw roast beef and funny gravy again. I like my beef rare but they like it a bit too still-cold in the middle for me.

 

[steve-h]

Do a poo in their toilet and forget to flush it. That'll learn em.

 

[j.col]

animals i like it rare as well, but not raw

 

[Amleto]

Just go to youtube and type it in . It's brilliant, well worth finding .

Things that will change the mood at a party:

There is a vegetarian option: You can **** off!

 

[MisChief]

My mum keeps calling Parsnips as Parsley... English isn't her first language, but she has said it about 5 times now... 'These Parsleys are quite nice aren't they'... It's Parsnips mum FFS, PARSNIPS!!! Parsley is a bloody herb