Tuesday Joke..

Surfer

Surfer

Surfer

Soldato
Joined
31 Dec 2005
Posts
11,179
Location
Glasgow
A farmer buys a young ****. As soon as it comes home it rushes and shags all the 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch the **** again shags all 150 hens. Farmer gets tense now. Next day, he finds the **** shagging the ducks and the geese.
Later.. the farmer finds the **** pale, half dead, lying on the ground with vultures circling overhead.
Farmer says " you deserve it you horny ******" The **** opens one eye, points up and says "Shhh...they are about to land!!!"

:D
 
Man goes into barbers, asks how long to wait before he gets haircut, barber says about 2 hours, he leaves. A few days later hes backs ask the same question, barber says, "about 3 hours chief". Again the man leaves. A week later he's back asking the same questions again. Barber says 1 1/2 hours...once again he's off.. Barber is a bit bemused by this behaviour so asks his mate Bob to follow the muppet see where he goes.
Bob returns in a little while ****ing himself laughing, Barber asks "Well where the **** does he go?"
Bob wipes the tears from his eyes and says "Your ****** house!!!!"

:D
 
VALENTINE'S DAY

Flowers £30
Dinner £100
Movie £30
Drinks £40
Hotel £150

The look on his face when he finds out the girl is on her period......PRICELESS
 
:D

those of a sensitive disposition look away.



Boy of sixteen comes home grinning and tells his parents hes just had sex for the first time. His proud dad says "i'll buy you a bike to celebrate, son but it'll have to be next pay day though". Boy smiles "thats ok Dad my arse is too sore to ride it yet anyway".

nother one...

I bought the wife a memory stick, its great! She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.
 
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