Or have it niggling in the back of his mind for the next few months/years?
Le relationship thread (keeping it short)
- Thread starter regulus
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Or have it niggling in the back of his mind for the next few months/years?
I don't disagree...
From what the OP has said he has little reason to suspect her. Therefore he is right not to ask.
My point is, it isn't always quite that simple a decision and the OP should think carefully about whether his portrayal of her actions here on this forum are truly accurate....
If they are then fine, don't ask. But as G|mp just said, he risks having this insecurity niggle in his mind for some time to come only to surface in a potentially more damaging way. If however, there is more to her actions than he was able to convey here then in my opinion he should go ahead and ask. As long as he does it in the right way and she is innocent then there won't be an issue. She will just re-assure him gently.
Of course if she does have something to hide then the OP will probably know from her reaction straight away. Women in this scenario tend to 'fly off the handle' about lack of trust so she should be easy to read.
In my experience any surpressed insecurities are very bad news in any relationship and the best way to deal with them is actually to air them and talk about them even at the risk of upsetting a delicate situation.
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Soldato
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Keeping it short, as per the thread title? I think you've overshot, now you're on 9 pages. 
and the schizophrenic behaviour of the op's other half?
Associate
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I recommend cheating on her so that if it does come out later that she did the dirty on you then you already have one in the bank.
Soldato
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Definetely leave it mate, there is just no point in knowing, maybe she kissed someone when she was out, unlikely she did anything else and probably she did nothing.
Asking will only have you questioning, as far as Im concerned if someone i was with messed around when they were out if i never found out and it didnt affect a relationship, it doesnt affect me.
Bahaha! Spat my tea out!
Im not saying you're wrong mate but seriously?
Perhaps i'm the crazy one, I don't know... To me, cheating is never acceptable. Your statement, although very sensible, logical and commendable just shocks me rigid from an emotional point of view.
If I had been with a girl for 5 years and I found out that 3 years ago she had cheated, I would leave her without hesitation and be sickened by the fact that I hadn't known for 3 years and went on thinking all was fine.
Some of you may find it an over-reaction but it's just how I am.
Soldato
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Im not saying you're wrong mate but seriously?
Perhaps i'm the crazy one, I don't know... To me, cheating is never acceptable. Your statement, although very sensible, logical and commendable just shocks me rigid from an emotional point of view.
If I had been with a girl for 5 years and I found out that 3 years ago she had cheated, I would leave her without hesitation and be sickened by the fact that I hadn't known for 3 years and went on thinking all was fine.
Some of you may find it an over-reaction but it's just how I am.
I understand what you mean, I would hate it if i found out my girlfriend had cheated on me, but if she did and I never found out and it didnt change things between me and her, then there is nothing to gain from finding out, if it happened let her deal with the guilt and associated hangups that go when someone cheat.
Im not saying you're wrong mate but seriously?
Perhaps i'm the crazy one, I don't know... To me, cheating is never acceptable. Your statement, although very sensible, logical and commendable just shocks me rigid from an emotional point of view.
If I had been with a girl for 5 years and I found out that 3 years ago she had cheated, I would leave her without hesitation and be sickened by the fact that I hadn't known for 3 years and went on thinking all was fine.
Some of you may find it an over-reaction but it's just how I am.
/agree.
Whilst it may not directly affect you, there is clearly a fundamental issue with honesty and trust in the relationship. If they are willing to get their end away with somebody else, what other things might they do behind your back? First it's banging the postman, next thing you know you're raising kids that aren't yours and she's embezzled half your savings in preparation for divorce filings.
Im not saying you're wrong mate but seriously?
Perhaps i'm the crazy one, I don't know... To me, cheating is never acceptable. Your statement, although very sensible, logical and commendable just shocks me rigid from an emotional point of view.
If I had been with a girl for 5 years and I found out that 3 years ago she had cheated, I would leave her without hesitation and be sickened by the fact that I hadn't known for 3 years and went on thinking all was fine.
Some of you may find it an over-reaction but it's just how I am.
No, it's not an overreaction, it's absolutely my and my girlfriends mentality. It would be deeply strange to think otherwise.
A mate of mine was out without his girlfriend on Saturday, he was flirting away, one girl was kissing his neck for about 10 minutes. If I'd done that, my gentleman's sausage would be chopped but he deemed it okay
Even went as far as saying he'd let his girlfriend flirt.
Not really, we're not saying that in this case the OP's girlfriend has definately cheated. We are just discussing what you should do if you genuinely suspect something.
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Im not saying you're wrong mate but seriously?
Perhaps i'm the crazy one, I don't know... To me, cheating is never acceptable. Your statement, although very sensible, logical and commendable just shocks me rigid from an emotional point of view.
If I had been with a girl for 5 years and I found out that 3 years ago she had cheated, I would leave her without hesitation and be sickened by the fact that I hadn't known for 3 years and went on thinking all was fine.
Some of you may find it an over-reaction but it's just how I am.
i was with a girl for 6 years, we had a child, she was expecting another child
i found oyt she had cheated on me in th e first year so i waited till second child was born told her i knew then left
Wow... I'm sorry to hear that mate. Must have been very very tough.