Tuesday joke

Kerplunk · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:44

A gay man decides to get a tattoo on his buttocks. On arrival at the tattooist, he spots a picture of the heavyweight boxer, Evander Holyfield..

"Oh! He's my favorite darling. Can you do him on the cheek of my ass?" he asked the tattooist.
So, it was done.

On the way out of the store, he spotted another picture on the wall, this time Mike Tyson.
"Oh good Lord!" the queen blurted out. "I just adore Iron Mike! Can you do him on my other cheek?"
So, it was done.

On returning home, his boyfriend says, "Well, drop your trousers, give us a look.."
He dropped his pants and showed his tattoos.
His boyfriend gasped and replied, "I think our relationship is over!
I sure as hell ain't getting in the ring with those two.

Pate · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:45

.....gtfo

topgun06 · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:48

Cosimo · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:50

kenmare said:
.....gtfo

Was that the last line of the joke?

Paul11 · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:50

A man walked into a doctors office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. " So doctor, what do you think is the matter with me ? "

The doctor replied...... "you're not eating properly "

Participant · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:51

Marky · 15 Feb 2011 at 15:52

Grim

Cosimo · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:01

A woman told her doctor, "I’ve got a bad back."

The doctor said, "It’s old age."

The woman said, "I want a second opinion."

The doctor says, "Ok, you’re ugly as well."

Greebo · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:05

I got the wife a new bag and belt for valentines day. She tried them on and hey presto the vacuum cleaner is working again.

Could YOU be living next door to a paedophile? Not me! I live next to sexy ten year old girls!

mrk · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:06

Kerplunk is the noise the joke made as it hit the floor

Toughnoodle · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:11

ugh. That was more Brighton than Bournemouth.

Cupra · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:12

Greebo said:
Could YOU be living next door to a paedophile? Not me! I live next to sexy ten year old girls!

saviour

Redz · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:14

A woman goes to a tattooist to get Frank Bruno tattooed on the inside of one thigh and Mike Tyson tattooed in the inside of her other thigh.

When the tattooist has finished the woman is horrified to discover that the tattoos don't look like either Bruno or Tyson and refuses to pay. The tattooist is adamant that there is a resemblance and so an argument ensues.

Eventually, after arguing for 30 minutes and getting nowhere they decide to call the manager to settle the dispute. After taking one look the manager says. "Well I have to agree that those tattoos don't look like Tyson or Bruno. But you can tell that's Don King in the middle."

GhostlyPea · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:15

5* would read again

- Pea0n

Cosimo · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:19

A man went to see his doctor suffering with badly sun-burned legs. After examining him the doctor said that he was prescribing Viagra!

"Will it take the pain away doc?" asked the man.

"No", said the doctor. "But it will keep the sheets off your legs tonight".

slagsmal · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:25

Someone just spilled their scrabble set on the road, thats the word on the street anyway.

something daft already!! · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:29

Why did the gay man have a donkey with him?

EdGey · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:34

Participant · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:38

howiepoohs said:
Why did the gay man have a donkey with him?

So that he could ride an ass whenever he wanted? Or something?

Curio · 15 Feb 2011 at 16:42

simulatorman said:
A woman told her doctor, "I’ve got a bad back."

The doctor said, "It’s old age."

The woman said, "I want a second opinion."

The doctor says, "Ok, you’re ugly as well."

Now, I'm not normally one to cry about old jokes.....but come on man, I remember seeing that on the Two Ronnie about 30 years ago :mad:

The other jokes are acceptable