Tuesday joke

After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic
surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory.

Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there.

Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three
roses at the end of the bed.

Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a
bit confused as to why I've received them."

"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation
went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted
to say thanks."

"Ahhh, that's really nice" said Lucy.

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such
a success that he can't wait to get you home and try it out!"

"Brilliant!" said Lucy. "And the third?"

"That's from Eric in the burns transplant unit" said the nurse. "He just wanted to
say thank you for his new ears" :p
 
Kerplunk said:
A gay man decides to get a tattoo on his buttocks. On arrival at the tattooist, he spots a picture of the heavyweight boxer, Evander Holyfield..

"Oh! He's my favorite darling. Can you do him on the cheek of my ass?" he asked the tattooist.
So, it was done.

On the way out of the store, he spotted another picture on the wall, this time Mike Tyson.
"Oh good Lord!" the queen blurted out. "I just adore Iron Mike! Can you do him on my other cheek?"
So, it was done.

On returning home, his boyfriend says, "Well, drop your trousers, give us a look.."
He dropped his pants and showed his tattoos.
His boyfriend gasped and replied, "I think our relationship is over!
I sure as hell ain't getting in the ring with those two.
Click to expand...

That post just gave me cancer. :/

1286494935_748_FT30784_spirder-man-that-post-gave-me-cancer_.jpg
 
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