Stuck at home with mum

sponge999 said:
The same thing I said to my mum not so long ago. She won't listen and she gets upset whenever I mention anything to do with money.
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Then she needs to stop burying her head in the sand and make a change. I know this sounds harsh but she is actively avoiding the problem and making sure people like you don't bring it up by getting upset.

Why not have a look for other places for her just now. Get some properties together (costs I mean not "you and her" together) and present them to her with the monthly outlay for each versus her current outlay.
 
I'd say its time to jump ship before she drowns you in debt as well.

And what about the other 2 kids by the way? Are they doing nothing at all to help?
 
Scam said:
To be honest if she's alerady declared bankruptcy once and is in a shed load of debt again, I'd pack my bags. It's not your life to ruin, move on. She'll soon sort things out when she's forced to.
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That's what I need to do but I can't gather the strength to do it. I mean she has no life whatsoever. She never goes out with friends or socialises in any way even with my help. And if I move out she has no chance of gaining anything. Very hard for me at the moment!
 
sponge999 said:
The same thing I said to my mum not so long ago. She won't listen and she gets upset whenever I mention anything to do with money. As for bankruptcy she did that a few years ago when she was with my dad.
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Maybe the advice needs to come from someone other than yourself. It's easier listening / talking to people you don't know / care about.
 
My friend is in the (almost) same situation like you. His mum is alcoholic and his two older brothers have now moved out and he has taken care of his mum financially since he was 16. He's 23 now :(

As harsh as it sounds she has to get help from the outside, or get someone that are not attached to her to help. If not you will just get dragged (even deeper) into her problems and it's no good struggling with debt and money when you are 22! No one can change anything but your mum so maybe if she is forced to do the right thing, she will get her arse in gear and do something about it.
 
twentyone said:
My friend is in the (almost) same situation like you. His mum is alcoholic and his two older brothers have now moved out and he has taken care of his mum financially since he was 16. He's 23 now :(

As harsh as it sounds she has to get help from the outside, or get someone that are not attached to her to help. If not you will just get dragged (even deeper) into her problems and it's no good struggling with debt and money when you are 22! No one can change anything but your mum so maybe if she is forced to do the right thing, she will get her arse in gear and do something about it.
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I totally agree, but she doesn't know what to do about it that's the thing. With her wages and her debt there is no way she can afford to do it alone, hence the reason why I am still here keeping her afloat.
 
sponge999 said:
Anybody else been in a similar position? (sorry about the depressing thread just need some ideas, really getting me down now):(
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Can you buy the house with your mum (as she's the tenant)? Do they still do right to buy?

You'd probably feel a whole lot better chucking more money at it if you were getting something out of it long term.

Edit: Looks like you would have right to buy, even if it's housing association now you'll have preserved right to buy if you've been there all your life.
 
Time to take over your mothers finances if she wont do it herself. Be firm and do what needs to be done.
From sorting out a cheaper place for her to live to cancelling her cards or whatever it is that is putting her further into debt.
Obviously I don't mean go behind her back and do it but just say "look, this is how it is, if you want me to help you, I can, I am doing this this and this... sign here"
No sky TV, no 5 lines of lottery tickets every week "living in hope".

Look at it from your point of view too, where's your life going? If you can't move out until it's sorted... sort it out yourself.
 
take her to talk to CAB and maybe debt consolidation scheme where she can sort it out a bit better. That might mean moving to a smaller place too.

My mums the same when it comes to money, she is not in debt but is clueless because my dad dealt with it all when he was alive.

Sounds like you have lived there for a long long time, its unlikely she will want to move but still seriously get a day or half day off and go to the CAB before they close it down.
 
Efour2 said:
take her to talk to CAB and maybe debt consolidation scheme where she can sort it out a bit better. That might mean moving to a smaller place too.

My mums the same when it comes to money, she is not in debt but is clueless because my dad dealt with it all when he was alive.

Sounds like you have lived there for a long long time, its unlikely she will want to move but still seriously get a day or half day off and go to the CAB before they close it down.
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I'd back this up, they are pulling the plug on a lot of funding for CAB, especially the financial advice from what I have heard so get in there quickly.
 
Contact your other two siblings and arrange for them to help pay off your mothers debt, and as per the advice take over her financial affairs so you can control how quickly this gets done, just getting out of debt for her will be a huge relief, but she will have to lose some of her pride to do it.

I wish you the best of luck, it's not a great situation to be in. :)
 
Thanks for all the help guys, I will be trying most of it out over the next couple of weeks. Will definitely try and get her to the CAB and if she doesn't I will go myself. As for my siblings, my 2 sisters are 18 and only on part time jobs and can barely afford any spare change.
 
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