Joke Time

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineering student replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
 
And on a similar note...

The CEO of a geotechnical firm needed a new employee immediately for the new contract he had just won. He called in the first applicant, an engineer, and told him, "listen, I don't have a lot of time for interviewing and I need to hire someone today, so I'm going to just ask you one question: How much is two plus two?" The engineer thought for a moment, and replied, "Well, based on that information I would say that the answer would be six, based on adding two for a factor of safety." The CEO thanked him and said he'd get back to him soon.

He called in the next applicant, a geologist, and asked him the same question. The geologist replied, "Well, that is insufficient information to answer the question exactly, but based on what I know, I would say that the answer is within an order of magnitude of two". He too was thanked.

The last applicant was a geophysicist. After being asked the question, he looked around to make sure they were alone, and said, "What do you want it to be?"

(In jokes are cool as well...;)
 
Got banned from the Garden Centre today. I was looking at benches and tables when the Manager came over and asked me if I wanted decking. Well, he was a big guy so I thought I had better get the first shot in..............
 
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes that he is lost, so reduces his altitude and spots a man on the ground down below. Lowering the balloon a little further, the ballonist shouts "Excuse me Sir! But can you help me? I promised my friend that I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am!"

The man on the ground replies, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering at approximately 30 feet. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 59 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a geologist," says the balloonist.

"Why, yes I am," replies the man on the ground. "How on earth did you know?"

"Well", says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is well described. It is also technically and geographically accurate. However, I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact of the matter is I have spent much valuable time conversing with you and I am still lost. Furthermore, I will not be able to make my appointment now."

The geologist below nods his head and says, "You must be a Engineer."

"Why, yes I am," replies the balloonist, "But how did you guess that?"

"Well," says the geologist, "You have no idea where you are or where you are going. Also, you have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem for you. The real fact of the matter is that you are in exactly the same position now as what you were in before we met, yet now your predicament has somehow become my fault."


Why did the archeopteryx catch the worm?

Because it was an early bird.
 
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