To those with teenagers...

Spit

Spit

Spit

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Joined
8 Nov 2003
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Yorkshire
How do you control the whole social networking thing?

My 15 year old step daughter is just obsessed with Facebook, MSN, Texting etc. like most am I'm sure

A big row with her mum tonight has now meant that WiFi password has been changed and her phone has been confiscated. We said we would all watch a film together and basically she was on MSN while glancing up at the film every 5 minutes.

To me it just seems unhealthy this constant connectivity with your friends. In the past you would see your friends but when you got home or off the phone to them then you would have time to yourself. Just doesnt seem to happen anymore with either a constant ding from a text or looking at a computer.

Dont want to be mean with limiting access but it seems to be the only option!
 
"Go out with your friends, why are you always inside"

"Spend time home, bring your friends round"

*******.Mixed.Messages

Being 20 myself and at the age where I've lived through the influx of MSN, Facebook and MMORPGs for example i know this argument far to well...

Here's the deal, before people/kids spent time alone watching tv in some sort of mind numbing un-thought provoking state, now people/kids browse the internet, read articles, talk to their friends and generally involve their brain... more..

What is the issue, seriously?

"I can't spend time with her, we're growing apart and I feel I'm less of a farther figure and we're less of a family because of it." - If this is true for you, she never 'wanted' to spend time watching the film in the first place, you forced her to.
 
Spit said:
A big row with her mum tonight has now meant that WiFi password has been changed and her phone has been confiscated. We said we would all watch a film together and basically she was on MSN while glancing up at the film every 5 minutes.
Click to expand...

That's horrible. Absolutely disgusting. If she didn't want to watch the film so ****ing what? :mad: And you confiscate her phone and block her internet access just because she wasn't looking at the TV screen?

I'd be fuming. Poor girl.
 
Serpantine said:
"Go out with your friends, why are you always inside"

"Spend time home, bring your friends round"

*******.Mixed.Messages

Being 20 myself and at the age where I've lived through the influx of MSN, Facebook and MMORPGs for example i know this argument far to well...

Here's the deal, before people/kids spent time alone watching tv in some sort of mind numbing un-thought provoking state, now people/kids browse the internet, read articles, talk to their friends and generally involve their brain... more..

What is the issue, seriously?

"I can't spend time with her, we're growing apart and I feel I'm less of a farther figure and we're less of a family because of it." - If this is true for you, she never 'wanted' to spend time watching the film in the first place, you forced her to.
Click to expand...

Agree to every aspect. I dont see a problem with it ?
 
asim18 said:
That's horrible. Absolutely disgusting. If she didn't want to watch the film so ****ing what? :mad: And you confiscate her phone and block her internet access just because she wasn't looking at the TV screen?

I'd be fuming.
Click to expand...

^ Exactly this.

So she won't conform to your idea of acceptable time usage so you block her from doing what she wants - if she went out tree hugging with her friends would you lock her inside to watch a film.

for **** sake.
 
LoL :D

In my day a clip round the head did the job and you didn't ask questions.

Don't let a bunch of "only just out of their teens" give you advice on parenting anyway.

Especially don't listen to Asim, if his parents had been better at bringing him up he might not of asked a computer forum about bleaching his penis.
 
asim18 said:
That's horrible. Absolutely disgusting. If she didn't want to watch the film so ****ing what? :mad: And you confiscate her phone and block her internet access just because she wasn't looking at the TV screen?

I'd be fuming. Poor girl.
Click to expand...

I agree.
I've got daughters who are now 23 & 21 and social networking has done them no harm.
You really need to move with the times and just because you don't like it is no excuse.
 
To be honest my misses does the same thing sometimes, only difference is it is usually her Idea to watch a movie!!

Thing is if you made her watch the movie and she didn't really want to then I dont see the problem with her doing it, however if every 5 mins she started asking what was going on then I would get ****ed.
 
Serpantine said:
"Go out with your friends, why are you always inside"

"Spend time home, bring your friends round"

*******.Mixed.Messages

Being 20 myself and at the age where I've lived through the influx of MSN, Facebook and MMORPGs for example i know this argument far to well...

Here's the deal, before people/kids spent time alone watching tv in some sort of mind numbing un-thought provoking state, now people/kids browse the internet, read articles, talk to their friends and generally involve their brain... more..

What is the issue, seriously?

"I can't spend time with her, we're growing apart and I feel I'm less of a farther figure and we're less of a family because of it." - If this is true for you, she never 'wanted' to spend time watching the film in the first place, you forced her to.
Click to expand...

Agreed. She is using new means to socialize with friends. Taking away her things like that won't make her want to spend more time with you, you'll just push her away more.
 
Your 15 year old step daughter could be getting up to far worse things than just browsing the net and going on MSN to talk with her friends.

I don't understand what your problem is and it sounds like you have some kind of chip on your shoulder about social networking and E communication.
 
Imho leave it, I've been very active on the net since about 11 or 12 and they never know what they want parents.

12-16 Moan moan moan go outside, I see their point now as I really wasted 5 years of my life or more, but now, I get moaning ''why are you never at home'' and basically every time I go out I get moaning.

I never liked social networks though but msn, nowt wrong with having a chat with people a couple of hours, even if it's not face to face.
 
You really can't expect a 15 year old to want to stay at home and watch a movie with the family. Can you?
 
I see the OP's point of view though, despite everyone jumping on him for it :P

My sister spends copious amounts of time on Facebook, hours ever day. She gets grumpier and grumpier every time she does so.

There a study recently showing that the more friends you have on Facebook, the more stressed you are after being on it, so it can have a real impact on people. :/
 
We are very lenient to be honest. I have no problem with social networking, it is the extent that it takes over that concerns. Her sister is 20 and things have definitely moved on since she was 15 with the advent of smart phones giving such easy access.
 
I'm with Snowdog here. Instant messaging is great, especially over long distance, and it's one-to-one and still personal. Social networks I found impersonal coz they're more interested in reading each other's status updates, with very little actual conversation, with the odd virtual beer/hug/poke etc that has been spammed to 30 others at the same time.
 
I'm the other end, completely agree with the OP.

Family time is useful and needed, and I'm glad in hindsight that I had it!

Technology is great yes, kids communicate via fb, msn etc, but this shouldn't be relied on!

Have I ever got through an interview using the internet or facebook?
No, because I actually have some social skills due to the internet not always being in use!

There is an overwhelming reliance on facebook and other social networking sites nowadays, and it's degrading some of our social skills sets.

Let them facebook or chat, but go ahead with limiting.

I was never allowed the tv on ALL evening, and had a certain amount of credit per month on my phone.
The advent of facebook/twitter/msn has meant that the idea of limits is eroding. When my credit was done I was done, no getting more, I knew the limit and made it last.
With facebook having no limit, it needs to be enforced somewhere!

I have seen the progression though, with me it was "can I please read my book for longer before the light gets turned out", with my sister (3 years younger) "can I please stay up and watch the tv please", with my brother (13 years younger) "can I please go on the computer/internet for longer".
 
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