To those with teenagers...

Spit · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:33

Harvey616 said:
I see the OP's point of view though, despite everyone jumping on him for it

My sister spends copious amounts of time on Facebook, hours ever day. She gets grumpier and grumpier every time she does so.

There a study recently showing that the more friends you have on Facebook, the more stressed you are after being on it, so it can have a real impact on people. :/

Yes, she gets real mood swings from it as well.

mrk · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:34

asim18 said:
That's horrible. Absolutely disgusting. If she didn't want to watch the film so ****ing what? And you confiscate her phone and block her internet access just because she wasn't looking at the TV screen?

I'd be fuming. Poor girl.

Obvious teenager is obvious.

Just set some ground rules long before hand that both can agree to I guess (although this alone is difficult).

My late teens were in the "internets" era while early teens were the Nintendo/Megadrive and having friends round/playing out with friends so I grew up around both and can see both sides of the story quite easily.

My little brother is 14 now and is constantly playing online games with his friends and communicating over voice comms and it is frustrating at times. The first thing he does when he gets home from school is fire up his game, MSN and stays that way until it's bed time. He doesn't have any hobbies and his meal eating habits involve munching as fast as possible and washing mouthfuls of food with water then rubbing back up again.

I'm due to check up at his school to see how his studies are going and if they're lacking then further rules will be set.

I agree that today's teens are a disgrace to the Human Interaction.

Serpantine · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:34

Harvey616 said:
I see the OP's point of view though, despite everyone jumping on him for it

My sister spends copious amounts of time on Facebook, hours ever day. She gets grumpier and grumpier every time she does so.

There a study recently showing that the more friends you have on Facebook, the more stressed you are after being on it, so it can have a real impact on people. :/

Did you know, 99% of statistics are made up.

In all seriousness, I'm a firm believer these situations give people a jump start in life and they will be able to deal with it all much, much better when they start work / uni or what have you...

It's not all good, the fact that you have access to 'anything and everything' within a few keywords... that's the issue, not 'social networking' (which, it's not really ay 15 now is it. It's talking about how tommy hit james over a bottle of coke)

Harvey616 · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:36

Just found the linky to it.

http://www.bit-tech.net/news/2011/02/16/study-links-facebook-friends-to-stress/1

Theophany · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:36

asim18 said:
That's horrible. Absolutely disgusting. If she didn't want to watch the film so ****ing what? And you confiscate her phone and block her internet access just because she wasn't looking at the TV screen?

I'd be fuming. Poor girl.

Clearly no concept of how to parent. Personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please make sure you read the Forum Rules. Thank you.

With regards to the topic: social networking and all the rest of that **** does not enhance one's social skills, nor make them better at interacting with others. It just means you can type to somebody without actually interacting with them. Arguing otherwise is utterly stupid; social skills are not learned nor honed with a keyboard.

MSN, Facebook, ICQ, IRC, w/e; they're all collectively killing the art of conversation.

Serpantine · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:39

Harvey616 said:
Just found the linky to it.

http://www.bit-tech.net/news/2011/02/16/study-links-facebook-friends-to-stress/1

A quote from the article:

"
12 per cent of respondents said that Facebook made them feel anxious
63 per cent delayed replying to friend requests
32 per cent said rejecting friend requests led to feelings of guilt and discomfort
10 per cent admitted disliking receiving friend requests

"
I'd say these are genuine people who have actual issues with social interaction...everything said here is what we feel at a face to face level, is it not?

sanaxe1 · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:40

Spit said:
Yes, she gets real mood swings from it as well.

Heres an idea, imagine your watching something you like.. lets assume its the football ( if you dont like football insert something you do like ) . Its a great game and its at a very exciting part with your team attacking and by golly they could win this game and BAM your daughter turns the channel on to a Disney Film as its more family friendly. How do you react?

Now im not saying you should let her do everything she wants but you cant engineer her to enjoy spending time with you by force. It is you who should be trying to relate to her on her terms and get involved in what she likes and then you build up the relationship from there.

JBuk · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:40

asim18 said:
That's horrible. Absolutely disgusting. If she didn't want to watch the film so ****ing what? And you confiscate her phone and block her internet access just because she wasn't looking at the TV screen?

I'd be fuming. Poor girl.

It's likely there's more to it than this one instance, this is just the one that's pushed it too far.

@ op, I can see your point but tbh I think limiting rather than an all out ban is the way to go , I know people who spend their day on Facebook and other crap and ignore whats going on around them and imo it isn't healthy.

Macro · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:41

Social networking is part of life now, just like spending hours on the phone was to the previous generation.

Much more important is teaching kids how to be safe whilst getting the best of these services and how to preserve some degree of privacy. There's a whole generation who have to be educated to understand that once you make something public on "the internet" it's public record and you can never "get it back".

"The Sun" headlines about future professionals and influencers like CEOs, Doctors, Lawyers and others are being written now by the people themselves as their activities published on the likes of facebook will come back to haunt them at a time when reputation becomes important.

It's a matter of humour here, but how would a certain OCUK "member" feel if he went on to become a public figure, be it MP, Judge, Actor, Doctor or whatever and then newspapers as well as the "media" in general had a field day publishing quotes about bleaching things....

Probably a debate for another time and place but fundamentally behaviour changes. Once upon a time it might have been a 14 year old girl refused to interact with her parents preferring to spend all her time in her room listening to records. Now it's social media.

You need to recognise a fundamental change when it comes to "TV". Anyone over 30 probably watches TV facing it, giving their favourite programs their undivided attention in a ritual at particular times of the week. Anyone under 30 watches TV over their shoulder whilst on the internet and regards "linear" TV programming as bizarre, tending to watch what they like, when they like, be it on Sky +, Virgin +. You Tube, Hulu or iPlayer.

Macky · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:42

sanaxe1 said:
I'm pretty sure the mood swings are you keep turning what she likes off and then being surprised she gets mad.

Heres an idea, imagine your watching something you like.. lets assume its the football. Its a great game and its at a very exciting part with your team attacking and by golly they could win this game and BAM your daughter turns the channel on to a Disney Film as its more family friendly. How do you react?

Hug her with immense gratitude?

Nah I like footy really.

JBuk · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:42

sanaxe1 said:
I'm pretty sure the mood swings are you keep turning what she likes off and then being surprised she gets mad.

Heres an idea, imagine your watching something you like.. lets assume its the football. Its a great game and its at a very exciting part with your team attacking and by golly they could win this game and BAM your daughter turns the channel on to a Disney Film as its more family friendly. How do you react?

punch her in the face and put the football back on

trigger-happy · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:42

tell her to gtfo out of the house for awhile to meet with her friends or you can emp bomb your house, either way win.

asim18 · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:42

Khaaan! said:
My little brother is 14 now and is constantly playing online games with his friends and communicating over voice comms and it is frustrating at times. The first thing he does when he gets home from school is fire up his game, MSN and stays that way until it's bed time. He doesn't have any hobbies and his meal eating habits involve munching as fast as possible and washing mouthfuls of food with water then rubbing back up again.

I used to do the same when I was 12-16 and I turned out just fine. My life is great. Probably better than Theophany's since he called me a moron.

Murray · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:42

JBuk said:
punch her in the face and put the football back on

HamZilla · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:44

The irony of 'social networking' sites is when one neglects or makes feel neglected/ignored, the people they are in the same room with.

OP feels that the daughter should spend some family time together as well as school/homework/friends not too much of one or the other, i.e. a balance.

Morba · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:45

It's a hard one, but i think you (parents) are over reacting tbh.
I don't see the difference between sitting watching a film and sitting with you but being online. Either way it's not your attention that she's ignoring ornot you she is meant to be paying attention to.

[FnG]magnolia · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:50

I'm sensing some just-out-of-teens strong drama to erupt any second. Score!

2StepSteve · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:53

Morba said:
I don't see the difference between sitting watching a film and sitting with you but being online.

I agree.

If she was going on MSN while you were all eating dinner or if she is staying up at all hours on MSN/Facebook then there is a problem. But the last straw is because she didn't want to watch a film with both of you?!

I take it you have spoke to her about this in the past? Why has it come to a head now?

I think you are harsh and to be honest I think you are getting away lightly in the scheme of things, if this is the worst that she is up to then you are quite lucky.

If you keep this up she will likely rebel.

Probably look up cracking WEP keys during school hours and hack the neighbours WIFI.. NO NOES OP! She might gain internet connectivity again!

Serpantine · 6 Mar 2011 at 23:58

Sleeping late and staying up late can (as said above) be a bi product of this, however studies have been done that state teenagers are better suited to a 1am -10am type of sleep pattern. (if not later)

Nitefly · 7 Mar 2011 at 00:00

I can understand both sides of this argument. I think you are right to try and moderate her activity, but perhaps you should think of introducing new and exciting things such as a hobbie or a sport.