To those with teenagers...

I wouldn't say they were killing it more improving in some ways however yes slightly destructive in others for instance no point in popping down the road to chat to your bud just login, my sisters similar however her mood swings have quietened down though when I was her age I was nowhere near a saint.

Ive done/do the same in all honesty its a part of life now in some ways even my 60 odd year old mother uses the damn thing :P my sister seems to get when to stop now though before it wasn't the case especially when the laptop became hers XD

I didn't grow up with a father nor a father figure apart from the odd tit that turned out to be a thieving son of a.... yes i'm 20 and no I don't offer any wisdom as others on here but meh :D
 
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As a soon-to-be-dad myself, this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Of course, by the time my kid is old enough to care about social networking, it will probably have all changed again.

As for the OP, I would say that if it had been agreed that it was a "family night" then I would also have NOT been happy with her behavior. It's all about respect isn't it?

I'm dreading it. I'm telling myself now that it's all about balance, but teenagers aren't exactly rational creatures.....I know I'm gonna be banging my head against the wall :rolleyes:
 
dmpoole said:
1) You have no idea how long he has been her step Dad and if he's helped to bring her up for most of her life

11 Years.

2) You have no idea how much money he spends on her every week

Quite a bit!

3) You have no idea if her biological Dad is still around and if he is the only Dad she has ever known

He is, she sees him 2 nights a week.

4) You have no idea if it's his house and he invited them all to live with him therefore footing all the bills.
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We joint own the house.

Her mother does do the disciplining and I back her up. She has agreed to curb her usage a bit and we will see how it goes.
 
I'm at the age of 18 and most of my friends do the whole social networking/constantly texting crap. I think it's ridiculous, they whine that they're never able to get hold of me through facebook, my usual reply is "you have my phone number, and you know where I live".

I know a guy who's cousin met up with a random off a social networking site a few weeks ago, she was 15, and hasn't been seen since.
 
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johnny6 said:
And I bet you were a joy to be around as a child :D

In all seriousness I expect my son to treat my wife with the same respect that he would me and his mum. If he wants to live with us he will. If he doesn't like it he can always move in with his mum, and trust me no sane 15 year old boy wants to move to the middle of no where in Wales.
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Don't get me wrong (As people obviously have), if they showed me respect (As one of her ex's did) I'd have been an angel and respected him.
 
As long as when the summer comes round shes not in every day its all good tbh :)

I spent many a summer indoors playing CSS, just made me fat and I think I missed out on a lot :(
 
My oldest daughter 14 spends too much time on her laptop by my estimates, but she is not out by the local hell holes making trouble, drinkng on street corners, abusing people walking by, or into anything else dodgy.

On the plus side she always dose her home work and dose well at school, the flip side of this to the negatives she has no idea how to use the net for anything other than social networking/messaging so comes to me for homework help seeming to have no idea how to look for information she needs.

I have had so many chats about how to use the net for things other than social things but to no avail, im pretty sure that she is thinking the internet is a big sms and mms service with extas, sure she is not the only one out there though.

I grew up with 8bit's and tape recorders which I got when I was 13, 64k program in to ram in twenty minutes or so (if it loaded). My kids are lucky but it dose make me a little down hearted when I see them bored with things I would have given anything to have when I was young.

As much as I dont want them to spend so much time on computers I also want them to make the most of what they have and not just socialise, another thing i wish they would not feed FB troll's and get so upset or angry about nothing but garbage.

Films, my kids will watch a good movie, my only gripe, not very often but that said there is not much comes out that will have kids glued to the sets these days.

The only time I get a gripe about computers vs movies is my pain oldest daughter will not stop texting or messaging on her laptop sometimes, the next thing she asks me "whats happening?", "what did they do?", etc etc.

That is the only time I will tell her that im taking her phone/laptop if she dose not watch the movie, or on the other hand just leave the room because she is spoiling it for the others watching, we dont want to have to tell her the story she should watch or leave.

But I would only take it so i could watch the movie in peace!

I would never take it for her not wanting to watch a movie with me, anything I want my kids do in spending time situations is optional, after-all who wants to spend time meant to be entertainment or activity time with a press-ganged po-faced misery,its hard enough to raise a smile from a teenage daughter as it is.

OP, no dont do that, its not right, you should not use threat of sanctions to get family time.
 
Well, what can an old giffer like me add? ...... Many good points raised and much **** talked by youngsters who have had things their own way, for one reason or another.

I think that far too many youngsters grow up being given too much freedom and too little time by their parents.

Spending time actually doing things together such as walking, talking, playing and eating together as a family, I have observed, produces a well rounded, polite, articulate and healthy youngster who will use respect towards others; rather than the ingrates who think that they are adults with adult rights, despite the fact that all they 'own' has usually been given to them.

I am old now and grew up in a much different time but my two boys, now in their 30s were not allowed to sit in front of a TV or computer or dash straight up to their bedroom when they got home from school, they had to sit at the table for dinner and talk about their day and what ever else they could join in with. They learned to listen to others and make intelligent observations but also have a laugh and a joke.

Far too many parents today are so wrapped up in their own lives that they would rather their kids used the electronic babysitter and kept out of their way; sad but very true.

I've always said that the best thing you can give to children (and dogs) is your time, not the latest console or trainers (even though they don't do physical exercise).

To the OP: For what it's worth, I'd explain why you feel the way you do and that you don't want to 'lay down the law' but would rather there was a real agreement about how much and when she should use the phone/computer etc. Rational discussion first, hard line last resort.


Kind regards and best wishes for an amicable and equitable arrangement.
 
I find it annoying as well when someone can't watch a film without constant texting/messaging. I mean can't you be out of contact for an hour and a half?! Reminds me of my sister, basically life revolved around friends with literally no time for family. Not good.
 
What's so bad about paying more attention to your friends than your family? I love my family and all, but I've always spent far more time with my friends than with my family.

But to the OP, maybe give her some space? Serpantine was right, she didn't want to watch the film. Besides, TV is hardly the most engaging social activity. You punished her for staring vacantly into the 'wrong' screen.
 
Beerguzzler said:
I find it annoying as well when someone can't watch a film without constant texting/messaging.
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One of the funniest things I saw was when our guitarists girlfriend invited 4 of her workmates to one of our gigs.
They were all young women in their 20s and they were obviously not in the right place watching 5 middle aged men making a noise they didn't like.
For about 30 minutes I watched them from the stage and not one of them looked up from their phones.
After one song I just stood there staring at them until the audience caught on and they all started to stare at them just constantly key pressing.
Eventually, because of the silence, one of them looked up and saw everybody staring at them.
I shouted 'Who are you texting?'
She said 'Each other, we can't hear ourselves talk' :)

Now this made me wonder if young people are doing this when they go to loud nightclubs and they text somebody standing 2 foot away?
 
Morba said:
Hold on, so a step dad should not be a dad, not be a parent figure?
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Depends entirely on the circumstances with the actual father. My dad died and if any of my mum's partners since then had attempted to be a "dad" I would have resented them. They haven't, and it's worked very well.
 
Hxc said:
Depends entirely on the circumstances with the actual father. My dad died and if any of my mum's partners since then had attempted to be a "dad" I would have resented them. They haven't, and it's worked very well.
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I think a big difference has got to be the age you were when your Dad died - how old were you?
In the OPs case she was 4 years old when he came into her life.
 
If I was the op I would have just let the kid do what they want to do, forcing them to watch a film if they're not interested in watching it is a bit control freak if you ask me.
 
As someone with two daughters below this age (5 and 9) but having recently started seeing someone who has 13/16 year-old daughters, I can understand the worry. My new partner's eldest daughter is sometimes on msn/fb until midnight or beyond on school nights, and this *does* have an effect on other things.

The golden rule with life is 'everything in moderation' (so me ol' dad used to say)...

Limit but not exclude her from social networking, and apply conditions, whether it's finishing homework first, or spending half an hour off with family, or whatever. That way it becomes a deal that she buys into. Just make sure it's fair. Withdrawing all access is not fair, however you look at it.
 
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