The International Day of Awesomeness

Darg · 10 Mar 2011 at 14:35

Cannot believe no one else has posted this yet. Today is Chuck Norris' birthday and as such is the International Day of Awesomeness.

So let's get started with a few from my work:

Chuck Norris wasn't born like a normal child - he punched his way out of his mother’s womb. Hence the term C-Section.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana

Chuck Norris rewrote the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't need Twitter, he's already following you.

Chuck Norris can handle the truth

Chuck Norris doesnt mow his lawn. He just stands outside and dares it to grow.

Freddy Kruger has nightmares about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.

Chuck Norris can blow out all his birthday candles by roundhouse kicking the air from the other side of the universe

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake

Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now called The Islands.

When Chuck Norris falls, all the stars make a wish

God declare himself omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, which Chuck Norris answered him "Man, you're very limited !"

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

When God said "Let their be light!". Chuck Norris said "Say Please...".

Chuck Norris doesn t believe in God but God believe in Chuck Norris !!!

Chuck Norris went to Mars after John Carter, that's why there are no signs of life there anymore.

Avatars were created when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a smurf.

The Oscar was originally called the "Chuck Norris." Problems ensued when no one was deemed good enough to win it ... other than Chuck Norris.

More!

FNGsam · 10 Mar 2011 at 14:46

Was expecting a Barney Stinson thread personally...

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead!

unKn0wn · 10 Mar 2011 at 15:15

FNGsam said:
When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead!

I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over thirty's. I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.

Lily: Whenever we're alone you spend the entire time undressing me with your eyes, you even take off my shoes.
Barney: High heels chafe my shoulders.

FNGsam · 10 Mar 2011 at 15:43

Fantastic show, so good that it can take over a thread it has nothing to do with..

Margaret · 10 Mar 2011 at 15:50

FNGsam said:
Fantastic show, so good that it can take over a thread it has nothing to do with..

Only good thing about it is Barney, the rest are dead weight.

NPH can't be stopped.

G|mp · 10 Mar 2011 at 15:51

Do people still do this Chuck Norris crap :confused:

Is this 2007 again?

Bennie-Mac · 10 Mar 2011 at 15:52

Its a terrible, terrible show...

Cosimo · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:09

G|mp said:
Do people still do this Chuck Norris crap

Is this 2007 again?

It feels more like 2001. Now something like Skimpy Summer Top Day would be full of awesomeness.

G|mp · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:13

simulatorman said:
It feels more like 2001. Now something like Skimpy Summer Top Day would be full of awesomeness.

It's been sunny all day today here and the tops are getting skimpier but with an added chilly, perky overtone.

DAIR · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:24

Those were great!

'Wes · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:26

Have a nice day, Chuck Norris fanboys.

Participant · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:35

The guy is 71 and could probably still kick most of your asses.
Not mine, but most of yours.

Cosimo · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:39

Robbie G said:
The guy is 71 and could probably still kick most of your asses.
Not mine, but most of yours.

What makes your ass differnet to the rest of us?

ubersonic · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:40

Happy birthday Chuck Norris, 71 years of slamming revolving doors, putting out fire with petrol and counting to infinity (twice)

DAIR · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:40

Robbie G said:
The guy is 71 and could probably still kick most of your asses.
Not mine, but most of yours.

Couldnt take me down.

I'd show him my patented Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. That'll soon end his reign!

G|mp · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:41

simulatorman said:
What makes your ass differnet to the rest of us?

The mean streets of Warwickshire.

ubersonic · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:44

'Wes said:
Have a nice day, Chuck Norris fanboys.

Oh noes Chuck lost a choreographed fight :O

They had a real fight years later to determine who was best, Bruce dying from painkiller allergy is just a cover story to protect his memory XD

HamZilla · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:53

ubersonic said:
Bruce dying from painkiller allergy is just a cover story to protect his memory XD

Exactly. Bruce was able to withstand immense amounts of pain, such was his awesomeness. However any assisted attempt to alleviate his pain was so insulting to him he died in disgust.

ubersonic · 10 Mar 2011 at 16:58

HamZilla said:
Exactly. Bruce was able to withstand immense amounts of pain, such was his awesomeness. However any assisted attempt to alleviate his pain was so insulting to him he died in disgust.

Hehe, seriously though I have no idea why people always reference Chuck losing arguably the best fight scene in the history of cinema to one of the best martial arts actors ever like its a bad thing, its not like Bruce Lee never lost a [real] fair fight