kids, exes, the law

[leicrao1]

I work in benefits. It is legal for her to carry on claiming the child benefit even if the child does not live with her so long as she contributed at least that much to his upbringing. Tax creditds are different. They go to who the child is actually living with. It would be very unlikely to be seen as fraud by either of you, but would need to be paid back (by her) if it came to light.

My advice; stick with your solicitor. They may seem expensive but they tend to be good at what they do and the issues here are too important to be left to trust.

 

[a1ex2001]

If you believe that living with her would be detrimental to his health and well being then I think you are morally obliged to take action through the law to prevent this happening. Yes this could be traumatic in the short term but the long term risks are far greater, you need the weight of the law in your corner but be prepared for a long and messy fight the courts in this country always lean towards the mother so you will need a stong case and plenty of evidence.

 

[VeNT]

Get it all legally sorted so you have some sort of fallback for the future.

THIS.
There is nothing worse for the kid than being in the middle of a war between two parents

 

[Makunouchi]

when he was with her he would often ring me to go get him and never wanted to be there but as she is getting a new house I think there is a novelty factor and she has promised him an Xbox for his room and I understand she is getting a puppy too. She had the cheek to make out I was trying to black mail him!

All I want is whats best for him and believe me she is not she drinks heavy and often and takes coke on a regular basis.

Wow. Make sure you do everything you can to make sure she doesn't get your son, please.

 

[britboy4321]

So basically she wants the tax credits. She's not interested *really* in the kid. Just he mate has told her she is £70 down per week when the social work out there is no way her son can be living with her.

You have a moral responsibility to do what is best for the kid - in other words to fight for him through a lawyer.

Whether she goes mental at you or not should be considered ENTIRELY IRRELEVENT.

 

[Jakeee]

Protect yourself, its a lot easier for a mother to take back a child, definitely if she is claiming tax for him and he is supposedly living with her full-time. Remember, women can be evil when they want to be

 

[BENJAMIN HERBLE]

if she is relying heavily on drugs and alcohol your sons 'money'' will go that way. Also he will end up caring for her more and more s he gets older, then where will his childhood go?
Do you want him to live with you full time? get the tax credits for yourself, bank them if you dont need it, car licence, deposit, whatever in the future. Good luck, good lawyering, and let us know how you got on. mrs herbs

 

[wez130]

The courts will always do what is best for your son, if your son is set in a routine and it's working, the courts will see this and keep it that way. Your ex is breaking the law claiming tax credits for a child she isn't keeping, she needs to be shopped. Get it sorted legally mate, it'll only come back and bite you in the arse in the future if you don't. Like your solicitor says, you have a very good case, and if i'm honest, i envy you in this situation. My ex has just moved my son - who was staying with me twice a week 200 miles away to Daventry, with her new fella who she's only been with for ~ 6 months. I don't know the bloke and i'm not sure she even does after a 6 month long distance relationship with him. Sure, i'm no angel moving in with my current partner after a few weeks, but i didn't get my son involved in that! Now i'll be lucky if i see my son once a month .

Get it sorted properly.

 

[Orcish-Horde]

Talk to your solicitor about talking to social services, then talk to social services. Start keeping a log book and log every thing.

 

[reefoid]

I'm a single father of a now 17 year old autistic son, take my advice and get this sorted properly. My ex (who has sadly now passed on) was a nightmare. Drink, drugs, changing my son's name five times before he was 7 years old and moving him all over the country.

Eventually she asked me to take him on full time, which obviously I gladly did, but even then she was able to just pop into our lives from time to time and cause havoc.

Continue speaking to a solicitor and get things put in place formally.

Contact DWP/Tax Office and tell them of any changes in cicumstances. This is what caused the biggest issue with my ex. As soon as she found out she would no longer get tax credits, child benefit, DLA, etc she was not a happy bunny. However, she wasn't entitled to them and although you may or may not be able to cope financially at the moment, its always nice to have a bit extra coming in to support your son.

Good luck mate, I've been there and its tough but just do what is right by your son.

 

[Kol]

Why does everyone keep mentioning the Mothers dependence on drink and drugs? Aside from our student lawyer Moses suggestion, I see no reference to this from the OP

edit - not in reference to you reefoid, the others above.

 

[Tefal]

Do I go through with solicitor and stitch her up for claiming tax credits she is not entitled for

well if you don't you'll have to give up on complaining about benefit scroungers.

 

[Tefal]

Why does everyone keep mentioning the Mothers dependence on drink and drugs? Aside from our student lawyer Moses suggestion, I see no reference to this from the OP

because most people read the rest of the thread too and not just the op.

All I want is whats best for him and believe me she is not she drinks heavy and often and takes coke on a regular basis.

 

[Kol]

because most people read the rest of the thread too and not just the op.