Anyone had an affair ?

dave1983 said:
The frustrating thing about it, there's not really a lot i can do i could tell her how i feel but it would make me look over-protective and that he's "joking" around, but how many pervy single blokes "joke" around calling women sexy, without trying to get something out of it.
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It's a catch 22 mate... :(

He clearly is heavily flirting... She would have to be blind not to realise that herself.
 
krooton said:
Dave, when was the last time you called her sexy (or a similar compliment)?
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All the time, as she's just had a baby loads of compliments make her feel better about herself. im always saying how sexy she looks, also how hot she looks naked. As women loose confidence when giving birth, im also just made the risky move by buying her sexy clothes for mothers day, As im treating her to a meal.
 
I'm going to be unpopular with a lot of people but I know some will agree and this does not apply to people who are living together in a long term relationship and/or have kids.
I've put that in big letters because certain posters have a habit of reading what they want and making it up.

I see girlfriend/boyfriend realtionships has being a test of life.
You basically play the field until you make that massive decision and if that means you've cheated then I can't see a problem.
Having these tests can make you realise that the person you are with is 'the one'.
Of course if they find out and end the realtionship then you've lost but you continue on.
The only time it really matters is when you make that final committment and put a ring on the finger (or move in/have a baby together).

Now please don't just cut sentences out of that and quote but I know some will.
 
In which case I wouldn't really worry, that just might be how the guy is.

I've had female friends call me sexy whilst staying purely platonic, how labels are perceived can be subjective.

I'm sure she'd understand if you calmly told her that how he addresses her makes you feel uncomfortable.
 
dave1983 said:
All the time, as she's just had a baby loads of compliments make her feel better about herself. im always saying how sexy she looks, also how hot she looks naked. As women loose confidence when giving birth, im also just made the risky move by buying her sexy clothes for mothers day, As im treating her to a meal.
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Women do lose confidence, but they expect to hear it from you as you are their partner. They like it more when it comes from other people.

rememebr that its mothers day, the presents you give her for mothers day are meant to be from the child. sexy clothes is not an appropriate mothers day present imo ;)
 
Morba said:
Women do lose confidence, but they expect to hear it from you as you are their partner. They like it more when it comes from other people.

rememebr that its mothers day, the presents you give her for mothers day are meant to be from the child. sexy clothes is not an appropriate mothers day present imo ;)
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It's just a nice dress and some jeans, as she has been going on about needing new clothes, to also help bring her confidence back, the hardest part for the any women who's given birth is to go back to being a wife/fiance/gf as they are now a mother it's a lot of emotions and responsibilities. I think that as the attention is know on the baby men take a second seat for the moment which makes them feel like there not wanted, and when guy mates try to flirt you become quite insecure.
 
dave1983 said:
the hardest part for the any women who's given birth is to go back to being a wife/fiance/gf as they are now a mother it's a lot of emotions and responsibilities. I think that as the attention is know on the baby men take a second seat for the moment which makes them feel like there not wanted
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You dont need to tell me this ;)
 
Had an interesting conversation with my gf last night was a happy sorta convo wasnt specific to this at first obviously i basically asked if we was ever to break up what do you think the reason would be in essence her exact words were

''If you ever cheat or i cheat''

i was like erm thats extremly specific reasons for a wide question....... and given my past posts in this thread i am starting to worry a little, should i have reason for concern?

when i essentually said that doesnt exactly fill me with confidence she basically says ''you know me i tend to say things without really thinking'' and she then went on to say how she would never cheat and never want to leave me.
buttering up? i am confused.com :( :confused:
 
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dave1983 said:
you going through the same thing? how you coping?

Mia sleeps from 10pm - 4am and sometime till 6am.

But my Fiance is finding it hard to get her to sleep as all she can smell is milk
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I've openly said i have had an affair in this thread. A large portion of the reasoning was down to this and my inability to deal with it properly.
 
Calgar117 said:
Had an interesting conversation with my gf last night was a happy sorta convo wasnt specific to this at first obviously i basically asked if we was ever to break up what do you think the reason would be in essence her exact words were

''If you ever cheat or i cheat''

i was like erm thats extremly specific reasons for a wide question....... and given my past posts in this thread i am starting to worry a little, should i have reason for concern?

when i essentually said that doesnt exactly fill me with confidence she basically says ''you know me i tend to say things without really thinking'' and she then went on to say how she would never cheat and never want to leave me again.

buttering up? i am confused.com :( :confused:
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WTF ''you know me i tend to say things without really thinking'', mm i can see why your confused
 
Morba said:
I've openly said i have had an affair in this thread. A large portion of the reasoning was down to this and my inability to deal with it properly.
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It is hard, when taking a back seat for the moment. but you have to make time for each other, and that's the most difficult thing, but i help out a lot bath the baby put her to bed, get up when the baby gets up then go to work. So are you 2 back together ?
 
Dave, there is nothing wrong with you speaking to your girl about this guy if you feel he is being inappropriate.

That said, you shouldn't be saying that you are the only one that gets to look at her in a sexy way, maybe its the way you said it on the forum but that kind of talk to a woman is extremely controlling.

If you feel its inappropriate, tell the guy that it makes you uncomfortable.
 
dave1983 said:
It is hard, when taking a back seat for the moment. but you have to make time for each other, and that's the most difficult thing, but i help out a lot bath the baby put her to bed, get up when the baby gets up then go to work. So are you 2 back together ?
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I helped more than enough with my boy, that wasn't the issue :p

Been back together for years and now have a little girl (about 6 months old).
 
I'm married and have been with the misses for ten years and she is the only reason I get up and go to work in the morning; now I have never had an affair. Like most blokes though I have thought about pumping this and that girl. Does this count as an affair? If not why not? What's the difference between thinking about the deed and doing the deed? We obviously desire that stranger but something stops us from following it through. Social mores maybe?

I think most men if it was deemed to be socially acceptable would be in their with multiple partners at the drop of the hat. So I don't think there is anything wrong with having an affair per se it just highlights moral weakness on the part of the person doing it.
 
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