Going to lose my Dad soon

slambo69 said:
Thanks, my dad had a heart scare a few years back and drew up a will then.

Hopefully you can say it in a way that doesnt sound too depressing, which will be hard because it will probably hit someone pretty hard.

Hmmm, what a depressing thread. :(
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Sorry I know its depressing, but if anything, as someone said earlier it makes me, you, realise life is too short.
My mum and dad came down to visit us 4 years ago and within a week my mum was dead.
No it wasn't my cooking, she had a heart problem, that led to other complications.
 
brucey034 said:
I cannot believe the response from you lot, you have restored my faith in humanity.
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Honestly? Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that GD is mostly full of people I'd sterilise given half the chance, but in their own right they're a decent bunch - it'd take a special kind of social retard to offer any negatives to your current situation. Anyone wishing any less than the best to you and your family right now... well, it'd be lower than most forms of trolling. Hard as it is to believe (for me, at least), people do care - hopefully you'll take some comfort in the idea that so many people are wishing for positive progression in your situation, both between you & your dad and you & your brother.

Again, best wishes. If your family's not the last thing I think of when I fall asleep tonight, I hope it's at least the most prominent.
 
i kind of know how u feel mate, my mum passed away a few days ago, and it hurts like hell, she started with small cell luntg cancer stage 4, by the end it was in liver, bones, brain and lungs :( she was in so much pain it was unreal. just spend all the time u can with him, love him as much as possible, and try and reassure him, its hard but we have to be strong.

as for the family, they should be ashamed really. just ignore them and concentrate on ya dad tho, he is the most important right now.

i have the numb feeling too mate, im told it gets easier, i just hope it does.

anyways my thoughts are with u mate, they really are

Rich
 
Sorry to hear such bad news.

Just ignore your so called bro, until after your dad has pass away.

Then punch the **** out of him.
 
Sorry to hear that, is a shame that all your brother is bothered about is possessions? What's your relationship like with your brother? Have you spoken to him about it?
 
Sorry to hear bro, been there and it sucks. Sounds like you have your priorities straight though so hang in there.
 
My dad died at the weekend back in the UK and I'm in NZ these days. Pretty hard to juggle it all with work and have a leg abcess so haven't been able to get home as of yet. Missed the funeral and most stuff is already sorted so not sure if its still worth getting back straight away as the cost is horrific and I went back last month when he was ill but he seemed to perk up again so I flew back to NZ.

Work here are hassling me when the next project can start as my mind has been elsewhere and to be honest I can't be arsed thinking about work stuff this week, I'm also on call this week and I've just had enough! Turned my phone off, grabbed a bottle of whiskey and work can go to hell! My dad was scottish so having a drink for him. Shame they don't do good whiskey here, he'd not be happy!
 
brucey034 said:
He hasn't done a will and I know that has to be done.
Numb is probably the best way to describe how im feeling.
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Sorry to hear the news mate, couldn't begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

Unfortunately there are no winners here but don't allow you and your family to be walked over by your brother and family - how you do this I would simply say is to get your father to set things out in a will if he is able.

Your father can dictate his will to a lawyer - obviously it will cost but at least he will have peace of mind and I am sure he wouldn't want it to cause any issues between you and your brother.

The lawyer charge won't be too high - I would imagine £500-700 at the most.

Alternatively he could appoint you as executor of his affairs, or even an independant friend who would be unbias in splitting things between the two of you.

I know it's not a pleasant thought to approach your father with this at this time but as I said, it would save any issues/arguments - whether he needs to know it's causing problems now or whether you explain to him it would be a good thing to do is up to you.

Edited to add - just seen EVH's post and totally agree, if it's just things rather than sentimental stuff (albums etc) then just let them get on with it.

It is times like these that people do show their true colours!
 
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I'd let them take everything, if that's all they care about.

I know I would rather be at his side than deciding who got the sandwich maker while he was in agony.

If he's up to speaking to a solicitor then do it, but I guess that depends how he feels.
 
EVH, i appreciate your lack of care about the worldy things, and thats great for you. trust me your doing the right thing making sure your dad is priority, however i know from painful experience that you need to get a will organised asap.

my brother died suddenly without a will and 4 years later his stuff is still intestate. your never going to be able to bring closure in the future while you still have issues over his will hanging over. if people are already circling looking for pickings, you need to make sure he has the chance to decide for himself what he wants to happen over even the most inconsequential things.

be strong for him, in the future you will look back and regret not taking the chance to be a good son if you don't

god bless
 
I have just got off the phone to my bro, and had a good in depth conversation with him.
I guess it's his way of dealing with thing's.
He is right, things do need to be sorted, he just wants to get everything clear in his and our minds so later on we are not running around like headless chickens.
 
brucey034 said:
My dad has been in a lot of pain since Christmas, the doctor has done numerous tests but was unable to locate the problem.
My dad collapsed on Friday while he was at home, luckily I was there at his house.
We have been told by the hospital that my Dad has lung,liver and bone cancer.
It's only been four years since we lost my Mum.
Where do you start ? my dads home is rented and it's full of stuff, a lot of it sentimental.
My younger brother and his wife travelled down too see dad which was nice or so I thought.
They are making noises about who is having what etc, they have even sorted what they want to do with my dads television.
Unreal just crazy, my concern is my dad, and making sure he has the best care possible for the short time he has left.
It had not even entered my head about the financial stuff etc.
My dad does'nt really have any money, just an old car and usual household stuff.
He hasn't done a will and I know that has to be done.
Numb is probably the best way to describe how im feeling.
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Really sorry to here bro :(
 
My wife has dropped a big boo boo, she told my dad this morning that my bro wanted to sell his car.
After a few text exchanges my bro is now refusing to even be in the same room as my wife. :(
 
brucey034 said:
My wife has dropped a big boo boo, she told my dad this morning that my bro wanted to sell his car.
After a few text exchanges my bro is now refusing to even be in the same room as my wife. :(
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oops :(

you need to get everyone together mate and have a family meeting, with your dad. he needs to make his wishes clear to everyone so theres no confusion afterwards

its a very emotional time for you all, and cool heads are needed. i know its difficult but the more you get sorted now the easier it will be on you later.
 
They have found a tumour on the base of his spine, and one at the top.
The hospital are waiting for the results of a biopsy on his liver to determine the type of cancer.
They are talking about operating on his spine.
I assume they would not operate if they thought he would be gone next week ?
 
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