What would you do if you found a thief in your house?

If someone were in my house I would like to think that I'd take them down, tie them up, and whilst waiting for the police make like I'm about to torture them. If I could remain calm enough then I would leave them tied on the floor overnight and call the police in the morning... Imagine the fear that would set in!!
There has to be cold, unknowing fear inflicted upon them at some point. Eye for an eye and all that...
 
cricket bat next to my bed, old habit from living in a crack riddled ghetto in the US (though I had a monkey wrench next to my bed there and still felt well under-armed)
 
G|mp said:
Disable him at first, then gaffa tape his feet and hands and drag him into the cellar, then I would set about torturing him by cutting him deeply but in slow bleeding part of the body, then when he is begging for his life I would start pouring salt all over him. Then I would drag him upstairs and melt him down in the bath using some sort of acid, fish out his teeth and other various slow to decompose pieces of him and grind them down into a powder which I would then scatter in Cannock Chase.

Other than that I've not really thought about it.
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I would watch this movie. release date ?
 
OriginalJonty said:
Depends really doesn't it?

If it is a sole chav burglar then my brother and I would try to restrain him and wait for the police.

If it was a gang armed with weapons, well then, I guess I'll have to buy new stuff.
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This is the problem though.

A normal-ish looking guy stood there with your BluRay/DVD player could have a knife in his pocket, so if you approach him to disable him, you might get stabbed.

There is no way of knowing and that would be my main concern.

Funnily enough though (someone mentioned they had one in an earlier post), the guy does have one of those 3-piece samurai sword sets on his wall, but his wife advised him to take the golf club instead. Probably wise.
 
Cr0fty said:
Could always bang the mrs in the next room whilst the adrenaline high is sill going. That'd learn the thief!
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Hell, why only go half way!

Knock the burglar out, then do the Mrs. doggy-style over his prostrate form; your mixing juices dripping down onto his humiliated face as your adrenaline fuelled copulation culminates in a screaming, triumphant climax onto his moustache.

The mental scars would probably be enough to prevent him ever entering his own house again, let alone someone else's.
 
Pestilence said:
Hell, why only go half way!

Knock the burglar out, then do the Mrs. doggy-style over his prostrate form; your mixing juices dripping down onto his humiliated face as your adrenaline fuelled copulation culminates in a screaming, triumphant climax onto his moustache.

The mental scars would probably be enough to prevent him ever entering his own house again, let alone someone else's.
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Just remember to stick a muzzle on said burglar first!
 
its dead simple, say he went for you so you hit him. if he says differently a jury won't believe him.
your dads friend didn't actually tell the police the truth did he??!

a friend of mine did a similar thing to a guy harassing him at his doorstep and took a 2by4 and hit him a few times - when the police arrived they basically corrected him and told him what to say in his statement so it looked like the guy really went for him (the guy was a known scumbag).
 
This is why I keep a baseball bat by my bedroom door, in both my Uni accommodation and my home. Good luck getting up after the Big Stick (tm) has taken you full blast in the face ;)

:D

I also know karate :)
 
G|mp said:
Disable him at first, then gaffa tape his feet and hands and drag him into the cellar, then I would set about torturing him by cutting him deeply but in slow bleeding part of the body, then when he is begging for his life I would start pouring salt all over him. Then I would drag him upstairs and melt him down in the bath using some sort of acid, fish out his teeth and other various slow to decompose pieces of him and grind them down into a powder which I would then scatter in Cannock Chase.

Other than that I've not really thought about it.
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And the daft thing is - in THIS COUNTRY, you would be the criminal.

:shakes fist:
 
GD KEYBOARD WARRIORS GO! said:
Harold, it's GD, OCUK GD. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, meet me at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.
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aardvark said:
its dead simple, say he went for you so you hit him. if he says differently a jury won't believe him.
your dads friend didn't actually tell the police the truth did he??!
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I'm not sure exactly what he said, but the Police werent too happy apparently.
 
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