Advising other people on their parenting...

4T5 said:
I ask the Parent if they Beat there child, When they reply No I ask if I can.
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That right there, thats whats missing in todays society, some good old fashioned child therapy :D
 
I think you are right to be angry. It's just lack of respect more than anything. My wife and I have brought our children up on moral principles, to respect others and their surroundings. A child's behaviour management is a tough job but essential. As our kids enter adulthood, we think we've done a pretty decent job. They're not perfect by any means but we've done all we can as parents.

Personally I feel the problem is society itself.. Our fast modern paced life style means we don't allow enough time with our children. People and parents have more distractions than ever before and family values are just slipping away and with it, general discipline and respect.. Society has become somewhat selfish.

For some, Children are just a hindrance and inconvenience of life style.. Stick the kids in front of the telly, or console that'll keep 'em quite.. They loose the social interaction.

For example, I see parents day-in and day-out taking their kids to the park or play centers while they sit playing on their mobile phone/internet etc.. Parents bring their kids to us [my wife's a childminder] while they do their shopping, visit friends ... How can those children ever integrate into a family way of life and adopt any sense of values if the parents can't be bothered.

I saying that, in answering the OP.. No, i wouldn't intervene with other peoples parenting.. or lack of it.. Kids running around supermarkets happens.. I did it as a kid, and I'm sure most of you did.. The problem faced for parents, if that when your attention is diverted else where, children cease the opportunity.. ( see above paragraph).. the trick is to distract them to something more usefull.. like tell them to get this and that.. rather then sticking their nosses in a packet of crisps..
 
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Milkybk said:
The only time I've ever said something was when a woman was smacking her kid in the street. I wouldn't have said anything but she must have hit the child (only young) about 8-9 times and he was obviously in pain. I'd never seen a parent hit a child that hard, went far past a traditional slap on the backside. Poor kid.
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That's the problem, some people take it too far whilst others don't do a thing and their child runs riot.

I'm 100% for smacking where the situation demands but am fully aware a lot of people disagree with it so would not make a scene of it if done in public.


One example relating to the OP's question happened to a good friend of mine, top bloke, lovely missus and have a lovely little girl. They went to the park and she was going down the slide and being a toddler couldn't quite get off. As my mate was walking towards her to pick her up, a larger boy (8+ years) slides down into her and starts to kick her in the back to try and push her out of the way - obviously my mate grabs his kid and then has a right verbal at the boy.

Anyway, this boys chavvy mother and her mates, who were standing right there, decide to take my mate to court and said that my mate touched his kid and took him to court.

As for telling a parent how to deal with their kids........ I would if the situation demanded it but in this day and age the example above is enough to put anyone off!

It's a crazy world and do question how much worse things can get sometimes!
 
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ChrisJSY said:
Oh look, it's the " I had sex, procreated and I'm suddenly an expert in child upbringing" card. We all see this too much, Now I'm not saying you aren't a good parent, that's not what I'm saying.

However what I am saying is that we are all capable of raising a child, some better than others (some actually badly) but this doesn't stop us being objective and being able to talk about it because we haven't done it yet.


I also hate this idea that it's taboo to tell a parent either, as if they have no right.
However this is over a small issue such a littering, you should have told the adult directly that it's ***** behavior.
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im not a expert but seriously your going to say thats ***** behavior lol .

the whole point is of questioning someones parenting skills on the slightest thing you have just witnessed which may have no bearing on there actual parenting skills. youve just added up a lot of imaginary scenarios because a bit of dropped litter or whatever which is wrong.

if you dont have kids then you wont really know the extent at to what young children will do at most random of time and whether it was even todo with the parenting skills. im just highlighting this not saying im a uber parent.

there isnt a fool proof guide to parenting nobody is a expert.
 
but out of work then its not really your duty
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And therein lies the problem with our society.

It's EVERYONE's duty to make sure people behave themselves - children and adults.

Not parents, not schools, not Police - EVERYONE!
 
OldCoals said:
If you need to smack then you are doing something wrong in my opinion.
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I've had cause to smack my children and they are some of the best behaved children I know, but then I do have extremely high expectations.

IMO your opinion is wrong.
 
Streeteh said:
Am i right in assuming this is a faux pas?

There are several times in life that i've wanted to just quietly explain to parents that what they're doing and/or allowing their child to do is just plain unacceptable. I'm generally not talking about anything horrifying, just good manners in most cases.

One example i'll throw out there occurred yesterday; i was walking into a shop to overhear a young girl near the entrance, likely around 8 years old at a guess, telling her mum she was finished with her juice box. The mother instructed her daughter to throw it out of the door, firstly this projectile rubbish narrowly missed me as it flew past and obviously this is also littering. There was a bin around 5ft from the entrance to the shop. It's a small thing i know, but there was this strong urge to explain to them that it was totally unacceptable behaviour, but being a typically British passive aggressive i thought i'd write an angry post on the internet instead.

I work in a school and because of parenting like this it's nearly impossible to explain to some children why they should throw away their own rubbish, they just don't understand that people should clean up after themselves. It's like you're talking a foreign language, often the children just reply with 'Why?' when instructed to collect their own food packaging in the canteen.

We have all been there i'm sure, sat in a restaurant trying to have a nice meal whilst children scream past you, trying to make your way around a supermarket while a child runs riot, looking through a picnmix while a young snotty nosed boy helps himself with his hands (I have actually witnessed the latter, the mother snatched what he was halfway through eating from him and threw the sweets BACK into the pixnmix!).

Have you ever been in a situation where you've said something? If not, could you imagine yourself saying something?

What would/have you said?
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2 utter scumbags (aka neds) came into my restaurant once, both young guys with a kid, they decided to have a slap up meal, drink lager, whilst feeding the baby water.

i noticed this and asked whether or not they would like some milk for the baby? they asked me how much, you gotta laugh, they can afford pints of lager for themselves but no milk for the baby. i said to myself i best just give it free of charge just in case they think its too expensive for the baby. after throwing out the water from the bottle and filling it with milk, i brought it back to the table and said, ill just get some boiling water in a ice bucket so you can heat it up to however hot you want by sticking the bottle in the bucket. the guy was like no she likes it cold.

as it is my families restaurant you generally like to look over the customers to make sure there isnt something wrong or if they need anything, etc, like more drinks. as i looked over at the table the guy who was the friend of the dad (beta scumbag) said to the father, he keeps looking at us or something along those lines im assuming because the alpha scumbag (father) turns round and says to me, is there a problem? i said do you need anything else?

anyway i said theres no point going near these idiots again or even paying them any attention, ill let the staff deal with them, they ask for the bill and i take it over. after a minute i come back and the dad says to me, heres the bill, can i get the change. cant remember off the top of my head how much the bill was, but they had put in 5p more than what the bill was, so lets say 19.95 and they stuck 20 in there.

its obvious he was acting all funny in front of his mate, and thought he was well cool. so i come back with the 5p and he then proceeds to make a mess on the floor with leftover's etc, he then says to me can you clear this mess up that i made for you?

what i said back to him is unrepeatable on here, but lets say he then tried to square go me after my response (im 6 foot, 100 kg, squat 180kg, deadlift 140kg and bench 80kg) and then left with his tail tucked between his legs, saying how he would be back to do me over.

after that any ned who has came in gets zero help from me or advice about parenting.
 
ChrisJSY said:
You avoided the issue just like my first post described, rather than understand the point that littering is bad you decide to pick at how I worded it.
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ive already explained thats why i didnt go over the matter again .

judging a parent on there parenting skills because a child has littered is quite presumptuous is it not ?
 
No one is judging though, just advising the parent and/or child to rectify the issue, in this case throwing the rubbish in the bin.

I never said this woman was a bad parent, i just feel her instruction to throw the litter on the ground was unacceptable, it's not as if i'm going to give social services a call. For all i know she could be super mum in every other department.
 
~>Dg<~ said:
ive already explained thats why i didnt go over the matter again .

judging a parent on there parenting skills because a child has littered is quite presumptuous is it not ?
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It is, but I'm not judging.
I'm just agreeing that sometimes a few words need to be said ;)

You shouldn't take what everyone says so literally, when I said ***** I didn't mean they are.
It was just a method of conveying how I see littering, negatively with a degrading word.
 
OldCoals said:
Who asked for your opinion?
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;)

amigafan2003 said:
Why?
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If the person you are giving advice to does not want to know, they won't listen/take on board what you are saying, they will simply see is as a personal attack. Advising someone how to be a parent is a very personal subject and IMO it's not wise to offer advice unless the other party are ready to listen/solicit the advice.
 
amigafan2003 said:
Standing up and pushing your chair back a foot or so at the oppurtune moment normally puts an end to that behaviour quite swiftly!
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That is absolutely disgusting and reprehensible behaviour. What if you did that and a child tripped and cracked his head on a table? Also in an environment with hot food, drinks, and sharp cutlery?

Mind-boggling.
 
Milkybk said:
The only time I've ever said something was when a woman was smacking her kid in the street. I wouldn't have said anything but she must have hit the child (only young) about 8-9 times and he was obviously in pain. I'd never seen a parent hit a child that hard, went far past a traditional slap on the backside. Poor kid.
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he probably deserved it... i bet your the first to complain on these forums when some little kid is running wild in mcdonalds though...

some kids need that beating
 
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