If you think kids should be well behaved in public...

[nuttyprot]

Im talking entirely from long previous conversations with my friend who has a kid, a Masters degree in some Childcare course (Undergrad at the uni I went to and a housemate for 2 years), and has worked in a hospitals childrens ward looking after kids in hospital care and providing them with playful activities, and currently works in a nursery where she been for several years, so I think she knows her stuff.

I never said all of them don't have kids. I personaly belive that it is partially the parents fault,partially genetics fault and partially society's fault. To put the blame solely on the parents is wrong and a load of &*&%^ if you ask me. But we all have our opinions

 

[bhavv]

I do think there are some limits to behaviour like that though. I once told a child off for swinging on the swing door to the kitchen in our restaurant and the mother flew off the handle at me.

She didn't want to discipline her child, but was more than happy to let him get hurt by trapping a hand in the hinge or even getting burned in the kitchen!

Yes, and thats likely an example of a parent who uses next to no discipline on her kids, as opposed to parents who are capable of disciplining their kids without ever having to raise a hand.

,partially genetics fault and partially society's fault.

Oh yes, genetics CAN be a fault, I tend to overlook that though because its usually a very small number of children who are born with genetic psychological problems. And in those cases, yes you should be taking them to a doctor to get their behavior checked.

 

[Cleeecooo]

Problem is, some parents genuinely don't give a crap about the fact that their kid's tantrum is ruining someone's special night out in that expensive restaurant. They'll let them sit there and wail rather than take them outside.

Last time this happened (after 45 mins of screaming), my mate had to threaten to throw the brat out the door himself before they did anything.

I think that the situations are slightly different?
One is when the kid is throwing a tantrum for attention and the parent is nt giving them the attention.
The ither is a kid crying for sime other reason and the parents just not being bithered

 

[Theophany]

"My parents did <x> to me when I was a kid and it didn't do me any harm. That's why I intend to also inflict <x> on my kids without really thinking about it!"

Great parenting, right there

Better to parent having the experience of childhood than following the textbook or reality TV show of some barren wench.

When I misbehaved as a kid my parents would put me out in the dog kennel for the night, though that was if I hadn't done anything *too* bad. If I had really crossed a line I'd be dreading the "brick." My father would hold me still and my mother would drop a breeze block on my foot, if they saw me limp afterwards it was two nights in the kennel and no supper for a week.

As I got older I started to wise up to some of their punishments though. For example, when I used to get the cat 'o nine tails out if I came home late from playing with my friends, I knew that tensing as the whip hit my bare skin only made the pain worse. Eventually I developed sort of an anti-reflex that stopped me from tensing with each whipping, to this day I still don't flinch at anything!

The worst one was by far the handcuffs though. It was for if they went out for the evening after I'd been bad. They'd chain me to the old radiator whilst the heating was on so that I couldn't get up to any mischief, as the radiator heated up, so would the handcuffs and eventually my wrist would be burning right through. Time would pass so slowly.

That being said, if I ever have kids I'd discipline them differently. If they misbehaved, I'll just punch them in the face. That ought to learn them.

 

[bhavv]

Better to parent having the experience of childhood than following the textbook or reality TV show of some barren wench.

When I misbehaved as a kid my parents would put me out in the dog kennel for the night, though that was if I hadn't done anything *too* bad. If I had really crossed a line I'd be dreading the "brick." My father would hold me still and my mother would drop a breeze block on my foot, if they saw me limp afterwards it was two nights in the kennel and no supper for a week.

As I got older I started to wise up to some of their punishments though. For example, when I used to get the cat 'o nine tails out if I came home late from playing with my friends, I knew that tensing as the whip hit my bare skin only made the pain worse. Eventually I developed sort of an anti-reflex that stopped me from tensing with each whipping, to this day I still don't flinch at anything!

The worst one was by far the handcuffs though. It was for if they went out for the evening after I'd been bad. They'd chain me to the old radiator whilst the heating was on so that I couldn't get up to any mischief, as the radiator heated up, so would the handcuffs and eventually my wrist would be burning right through. Time would pass so slowly.

That being said, if I ever have kids I'd discipline them differently. If they misbehaved, I'll just punch them in the face. That ought to learn them.

LOL

 

[mejinks]

Better to parent having the experience of childhood than following the textbook or reality TV show of some barren wench.

When I misbehaved as a kid my parents would put me out in the dog kennel for the night, though that was if I hadn't done anything *too* bad. If I had really crossed a line I'd be dreading the "brick." My father would hold me still and my mother would drop a breeze block on my foot, if they saw me limp afterwards it was two nights in the kennel and no supper for a week.

As I got older I started to wise up to some of their punishments though. For example, when I used to get the cat 'o nine tails out if I came home late from playing with my friends, I knew that tensing as the whip hit my bare skin only made the pain worse. Eventually I developed sort of an anti-reflex that stopped me from tensing with each whipping, to this day I still don't flinch at anything!

The worst one was by far the handcuffs though. It was for if they went out for the evening after I'd been bad. They'd chain me to the old radiator whilst the heating was on so that I couldn't get up to any mischief, as the radiator heated up, so would the handcuffs and eventually my wrist would be burning right through. Time would pass so slowly.

That being said, if I ever have kids I'd discipline them differently. If they misbehaved, I'll just punch them in the face. That ought to learn them.

I know I shouldn't, but that made me smile.

 

[zipp0r]

According to the Child experts, no child is responsible for such behavior, it is always the parents fault for not correctly disciplining them in the first place to prevent that behavior from happening.

Or in some cases, the child may not have enough play / fun social interaction with their parents and other kids, so they may not have developed decent social skills.

Being too strict can have the completely opposite effect to what you intend it to have.

agree! discipline doesnt always mean a rage filled slap across the face, it can be educating them with reasoning e.t.c.

i have seen the results of inatentive parents and those that use violence as discipline and the children do not learn from it, they may behave around the parents as they dont like the beating but what about when they are out causing mayhem on the streets, they also learn to try not to get caught. the non disciplined ones are similar except they dont hide the bad things they do. so either way is the wrong way.

 

[zipp0r]

"My parents did <x> to me when I was a kid and it didn't do me any harm. That's why I intend to also inflict <x> on my kids without really thinking about it!"

Great parenting, right there

lots of them in this thread and lots of them out there in the world, arrogantly thinking their way is the best way and completely blind that they are actually fueling the bad behaviour. it did do them harm, far more than they realise.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Better to parent having the experience of childhood than following the textbook or reality TV show of some barren wench.

When I misbehaved as a kid my parents would put me out in the dog kennel for the night, though that was if I hadn't done anything *too* bad. If I had really crossed a line I'd be dreading the "brick." My father would hold me still and my mother would drop a breeze block on my foot, if they saw me limp afterwards it was two nights in the kennel and no supper for a week.

As I got older I started to wise up to some of their punishments though. For example, when I used to get the cat 'o nine tails out if I came home late from playing with my friends, I knew that tensing as the whip hit my bare skin only made the pain worse. Eventually I developed sort of an anti-reflex that stopped me from tensing with each whipping, to this day I still don't flinch at anything!

The worst one was by far the handcuffs though. It was for if they went out for the evening after I'd been bad. They'd chain me to the old radiator whilst the heating was on so that I couldn't get up to any mischief, as the radiator heated up, so would the handcuffs and eventually my wrist would be burning right through. Time would pass so slowly.

That being said, if I ever have kids I'd discipline them differently. If they misbehaved, I'll just punch them in the face. That ought to learn them.

I know, right? The right-minded parent should kill the offending child, hollow their still-warm bodies out and use them as a child-canoe in a bath filled with thick, dark blood.

And that's just if they're a little bit naughty.

 

[Energize]

Then the next time you see a parent dealing with a tantrum or some other kind of loud, obnoxious behaviour pat them on the back and tell them to hang in there.

But whatever you don't give them dirty looks, trust me they are probably dying of embrassement and don't know what to do. You have to break the behaviour and not give at the same time.

Just sayin'

You don't need to break the behaviour in a Michelin star restaurant though, that's what people have the problem with, it's one thing in Asda, another entirely when it's ruining someone expensive evening.

 

[bhavv]

I know, right? The right-minded parent should kill the offending child, hollow their still-warm bodies out and use them as a child-canoe in a bath filled with thick, dark blood.

And that's just if they're a little bit naughty.

Or even better yet, follow the Bible:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

Stoning those rebellious kids should do the trick.

 

[Castiel]

Why has religion reared it's head in a discussion of the relative merits of ways of punishing and teaching children?

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Why has religion reared it's head in a discussion of the relative merits of ways of punishing and teaching children?

 

[steve-h]

Children should be seen and not heard.

Control freak.

 

[Morba]

"Just sayin'"

No ****! We know you are "saying" something as you typed it..... stupid meme.

 

[Redmint]

You don't need to break the behaviour in a Michelin star restaurant though, that's what people have the problem with, it's one thing in Asda, another entirely when it's ruining someone expensive evening.

Kind of makes me think of the many flights I've had crying kids in the next row and it makes me glad every time that my gf doesn't want kids.

 

[Morba]

Im talking entirely from long previous conversations with my friend who has a kid, a Masters degree in some Childcare course (Undergrad at the uni I went to and a housemate for 2 years), and has worked in a hospital's childrens ward looking after kids in hospital care and providing them with playful activities, and currently works in a nursery where she been for several years, so I think she knows her stuff.

Masters degree to end up working in a nursery? Unlucky!

 

[Energize]

Kind of makes me think of the many flights I've had crying kids in the next row and it makes me glad every time that my gf doesn't want kids.

I know what you mean, why do people take a baby on holiday anyway? They are too young to appreciate it.

 

[^TANK^]

I am surprised no one has suggested "stand and bang" as a suitable repercussion for misbehaving.

 

[bhavv]

Masters degree to end up working in a nursery? Unlucky!

LOL, thats similar to what I said to both the girls I knew on that course. Somehow I met them on the first day of freshers week and they ended up becoming friends with everyone in my flat.

My first reaction to them was 'Why on earth would anyone actually want to work with kids?'. I quickly realised that this was a surefire way to annoy people who actually want to work with kids because they believe they are the future and require the best possible education and upbringing.

This is her job, she started out in a kids ward, and then chose to work at a Nursery instead:

http://www.nhscareers.nhs.uk/details/Default.aspx?Id=2020

She is a qualified Nursery Nurse, and told me that all nurseries require staff that are educated up to her level who get paid more, and also general assistants who dont require any education but get paid less. Its not really unlucky if she actually wanted to spend her life working with kids, even though I still think that anyone who actually wants to do that must be a little insane