Thank's for the links.
Dad only had about £3800, If I understand correctly, the estate has to £5000 or over for probate ?
Going to lose my Dad soon
- Thread starter brucey034
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Thank's for the links.
Dad only had about £3800, If I understand correctly, the estate has to £5000 or over for probate ?
Had Dad's funeral last Tuesday.
Did all go ok ?
No.
Well yes all was ok, up to the point of my bro trying to punch my wife because she swore at him.
Why did she swear at him ?
Because my brother and his wife were supposed to be coming down to help clear the remaining bits and pieces at Dads house, my bro informed my wife at Dads funeral that they were no longer coming down, which has dropped us in it because a, we have had to do the rest of the clearing, and all of the cleaning, b, we are self employed and have shut the business for a day because they were coming down to help.
edit, sorry forgot to mention that my bro, his wife and her parents wanted to go to Dads house the day after the funeral to SORT STUFF OUT, my wife refused to let them because it was my Dads wishes that her parents under no circumstances should go into his house. (he knew them better than we do)
Did all go ok ?
No.
Well yes all was ok, up to the point of my bro trying to punch my wife because she swore at him.
Why did she swear at him ?
Because my brother and his wife were supposed to be coming down to help clear the remaining bits and pieces at Dads house, my bro informed my wife at Dads funeral that they were no longer coming down, which has dropped us in it because a, we have had to do the rest of the clearing, and all of the cleaning, b, we are self employed and have shut the business for a day because they were coming down to help.
edit, sorry forgot to mention that my bro, his wife and her parents wanted to go to Dads house the day after the funeral to SORT STUFF OUT, my wife refused to let them because it was my Dads wishes that her parents under no circumstances should go into his house. (he knew them better than we do)
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Soldato
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That's horrible OP. It's such a shame that in these circumstances it seems that one sibling gets left to do all the hard work.
If they weren't intending on coming any more they could have waited until after the funeral, it obviously wasn't going to go down well.
If they weren't intending on coming any more they could have waited until after the funeral, it obviously wasn't going to go down well.
As for the rest of this mess, you couldn't write it.
Being completely ignored by my bros wife and her parents.
My bros wife posting on facebook, the Monday evening, ie the night before the funeral, and i quote : Sat outside at hotel, drink check, sunshine check, feels like our hols.
I mean ?????????????????????????
Being completely ignored by my bros wife and her parents.
My bros wife posting on facebook, the Monday evening, ie the night before the funeral, and i quote : Sat outside at hotel, drink check, sunshine check, feels like our hols.
I mean ?????????????????????????
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Soldato
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Sorry to hear about your loss man. Be strong and do what you need to. I'd avoid getting into a family feud over the predicament they left you in. Don't retaliate and tarnish the death of your father. Least you see who's got your back.
what a disgrace,
The week before the funeral, my bro and his wife came down to help.
Me and bro went into town to sort out the bank etc etc leaving his wife at my dads house.
When we got back to the house a few hours later, she had seperated most of the boxes that were there, and sorted through thing's that needed to be car booted.
They loaded up their car, I helped them, as they put the last box they could fit in into the car, I was locking the front door.
By the time I had locked the front door they were in their car ready to go, the only thing stopping them from driving off was my car parked in front of theirs.
I got in my car to move it forwards, as soon as I did they were gone, not even a goodbye.
Talk about feeling robbed.
What did they take ? all the stuff they thought might be worth something.
Grief can do funny things to you, ie not make you think straight, you feel people are helping you, but its not until you look back you realise whats happened.
Me and bro went into town to sort out the bank etc etc leaving his wife at my dads house.
When we got back to the house a few hours later, she had seperated most of the boxes that were there, and sorted through thing's that needed to be car booted.
They loaded up their car, I helped them, as they put the last box they could fit in into the car, I was locking the front door.
By the time I had locked the front door they were in their car ready to go, the only thing stopping them from driving off was my car parked in front of theirs.
I got in my car to move it forwards, as soon as I did they were gone, not even a goodbye.
Talk about feeling robbed.
What did they take ? all the stuff they thought might be worth something.
Grief can do funny things to you, ie not make you think straight, you feel people are helping you, but its not until you look back you realise whats happened.
Man of Honour
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Chin up brucey.
I do need to point out that, we have only met my bro's inlaws about three times, we are always nice and polite, and friendly towards them.
All day at the funeral they ignored us, and at the wake when they were leaving they just got up and left, didn't say a word just walked away.
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Soldato
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Without a will the estate is intestate not probate. There are quite complex rules about who can make a claim against the estate in these circumstances. This may help.
You can't really hold anything against the inlaws. At least not from what i can gather from this thread. They could've just felt awkward and came along as a mark of respect and left.
When we had my grandads funeral a few weeks ago, my mums parents came also (my dads sister and brother didn't bring there in-laws). To the rest of the family they didn't say much if anything but they had a very long natter with my grandma in the pub afterwards where we all went for a meal.
As for your brother and his wife, there attitude does sound dreadful, but you'd be better off just ignoring them, at least until later on, so as to avoid tarnishing your dads funeral. If they won't show the proper respect theres no point getting worked up about it now.
Im very sorry for your loss and pass on my condolences.
You can take a lot of pride in the way you have conducted your self though all this as loosing your father is never a nice experience (loosing mine a few years ago wasn't nice at all).
All I can think of saying is to appreciate everyone you have around you and not to worry about possessions. Just mourn in your own time and remember all the best bits about your dad, as there will always be people around you who understand
You can take a lot of pride in the way you have conducted your self though all this as loosing your father is never a nice experience (loosing mine a few years ago wasn't nice at all).
All I can think of saying is to appreciate everyone you have around you and not to worry about possessions. Just mourn in your own time and remember all the best bits about your dad, as there will always be people around you who understand
Thanks mate,
I have stupidly let my bro deal with all the major financial issues, ie the bank account and Dads ISA, total comes to about £3800 ish. (I could not deal with it at the time)
The major problem we have is that we owed my Dad £2600 for our car.
There is nothing in writing and it was just a verbal agreement between me and my Dad.
My brother knew Dad had lent us some money towards the car, he found out by asking questions while Dad was high on morphine, and is now demanding half of the £2600.
How do we stand ? getting a solicitor involved would be costly and my bro knows that.
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With the greatest respect, tell your brother to go and do one...
This is clearly a very hard time and my thoughts are with you and clearly all your brother cares about is the material aspects. Totally disrespectful and totally immoral..
One of the times we met them, we drove 300 miles to yorkshire, for my sister in laws 21st birthday party, they ignored us then aswell, might have well just gone to our local than drive 600 miles in total and spend a lot of money on fuel etc.
Sorry to hear about you Grandad.
I totally agree, the problem I have is that he is going to end up with all the money and automatically take the £1300 he thinks he is owed.
Im the eldest.
Soldato
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i know what you are going through, i lost my mum to cancer in 2001 then watched my dad fade away for 2 years, then he met someone that made him smile again then within a year of that passed away from a heart attack. All i can say is that it is that no amount of preparation really prepares you for what it hits, it's very difficult at first, with the rest of the family telling you what you should do and who should have what but you should block that out as much as you can and hold true to yourself. I only speak to 2 members of my family now as the rest decended like vultures to see what they could ge their hands on as soon as he passed away and ill just say that a few things were said in anger.
Hope you and your family pull through this and remember to hold true to yourself, don't let t his change you because that is a very easy thing to do.
Hope you and your family pull through this and remember to hold true to yourself, don't let t his change you because that is a very easy thing to do.
Although it seems you're brother is being greedy, everyone handles situations like this differently. This may be a way for him to keep distracted and seperated from what's actually happened, even if he doesn't know it.
Stay strong dude.
Stay strong dude.