Crackpot neighbor

thepharcyde · 27 May 2011 at 19:43

Just thought I would relay my experience tonight as it made me chuckle somewhat albeit somewhat disturbed by my neighbor who until now (moved here Oct 2010) was somewhat normal.

I live in a town house that has a small courtyard adjacent to the main walk through. I had a recent house inspection that was all well bar 'weeding' needing addressing. I work long hours, leaving for work at 7am each morning and not returning until 7/8pm in the evening. Being a bachelor then come home, make myself something to eat relax for an hour then hit the sack. That's my Monday-Friday so little time or inclination to address the weeds. Come the weekend I'm away a lot.

Anyway come home this evening to be greeted by my usually happy neighbor with a look of anxiety across her face and a couple of bags of garden rubbish. I thought right sod it I will address the weeds and remembered that the last tenant had kindly left a bottle of 'Max' strength weed killer under the sink, so donned with the bottle of toxic content went outside and exclaimed leave it to me.

"You're not using that" was her comment
"What?"
"Weed killer you evil person"
me "WTF, it's weedkiller"
"I'm organic" she exclaimed, which she definitely is purple hair, and long time into the menopause
"Define me a weed" she continues to say
"Still I'm WTF"
"You kill worms and bugs with that, use a hoe, or leave it to me" then yanks one of the weeds leaving the root in the ground to which I made a comment to the extent that what she was doing was pointless
"I do not own hoe"
"Use mine"
So I used her hoe, but also the weedkiller feeling all evil.

Somewhat a bit shell shocked, am I evil?!?

Anyone else relay similar nutty neighbors?

BDEE · 27 May 2011 at 19:45

Set a dog on her

BringTheRain · 27 May 2011 at 19:47

Is this a joke or ???? :confused:

Cosimo · 27 May 2011 at 19:48

BDEE said:
Set a dog on her

Set her hoe on fire.

Stormyx · 27 May 2011 at 19:54

twist3d0n3 · 27 May 2011 at 19:55

ovaries.

punch them.

mufc802 · 27 May 2011 at 19:58

She went in all buns glazing.

PiKe · 27 May 2011 at 19:58

I think there's a punchline in there somewhere.

Nix · 27 May 2011 at 20:00

I don't get it.

Judgeneo · 27 May 2011 at 20:01

sit on her

Pestilence · 27 May 2011 at 20:01

"I don't have a hoe."
"You can use mine!"
"You ARE a hoe. *chuckle*"
*single spray of weedkiller, slightly off to the left, for no discernible reason*

Job done.

PhillyDee · 27 May 2011 at 20:07

Im organic?

We are all organic.

badcompany · 27 May 2011 at 20:08

Your yard, your weeds do what you want m8

233 · 27 May 2011 at 20:10

neighbours wanting to chew your boomstick obv

TheCenturion · 27 May 2011 at 20:12

She's basically trying to enforce her way of thinking/living on you. Tell her that you have your own mind and you can think for yourself.

cheets64 · 27 May 2011 at 20:16

We have a couple mid 40s who live in the street, never had kids, always been loopy, their pride and joy Mazda RX8 got "keyed" and they have been having trouble with the nice next door neighbours for years, they cause a lot of trouble with them and they would never key anyones car, I grew up with their son, perfect neighbour, they put a big carboard sign in the front window of the car saying "some neighbour had keyed their car" and loads of other rants on it, it filled half of the windscreen.

Last year the nice neighbours had a few friends around and had a BBQ, crazy neighbours got the hose pipe out and spray it into the air so it went over the fence and soaked them, they have had the police out but they can do much, last month the nice neighbours got a solictor involved, came to a point were they had their house valued and considered moving, they have lived in the street for nearly 35 years.

So people have no life and nothing better to do than cause trouble.

UncleRuckus · 27 May 2011 at 20:17

Ha! sounds like me when the missus wants to get the weed killer out

I'm more concerned about the bees getting poisoned though

BennyC · 27 May 2011 at 20:23

Years ago by a hippie I've been told 'Fishing is a blood sport' before :rolleyes:

*Have some maggots*.

cheets64 · 27 May 2011 at 20:23

I dont use weed killer, screw driver and elbow grease, kills all the plants in the garden

TaKeN · 27 May 2011 at 20:25

Organic eh?

Last time I looked that up in my grand encyclopedia of farming knowledge stored in my head... It meant that they only eat food that hasn't been treated with sprays or fertilizers.

So are you telling me that she eats weeds?