Homosexuals didn't "choose" the word gay to "soften the blow of being attracted to the same sex" (did you really write that?) at all; it was a pejorative that gained sway in the mid 20th century. It's originally French, and it's meaning has changed over the centuries from something light-hearted and merry, through to something being lascivious and promiscuous, to something undesirable, to offensive, and finally to a modernly acceptable term. Much like homosexuality itself.
no no no, you have it all wrong in your deluded mind. Gay means happy. Just ask Bing Crosby. It was never promiscuous or lascivious, listen, my best friend is bi - i dont care, i didnt mean to offend, i just said GAY doesnt mean man on.. er man action