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TheCenturion said:
For me, BringTheRain was amongst a few posters who I actually rather liked (coincidentally, Nix is another). That's why I'm being a bit 'involved' in this.
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I like Nix as well, and I can see he didn't mean to cause offence. A lot of things are lost when you can't communicate face to face.



I hope I'm in that select few Centurion :)
 
Robbo said:
I agree with Castiel (as ever) and I am also slightly alarmed by the fuss this is all causing. I mean, honestly?
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Quite.

It should have been, Nix posts something he thinks is harmless fun,

Bring the Rain takes it the wrong way,

so Nix says "Sorry mate, didn't mean it like that",

Bring the Rain says "Thanks Nix, no problem, I'm just feeling a bit off today".

That should have been it.
 
Castiel said:
Quite.

It should have been, Nix posts something he thinks is harmless fun,

Bring the Rain takes it the wrong way,

so Nix says "Sorry mate, didn't mean it like that",

Bring the Rain says "Thanks Nix, no problem, I'm just feeling a bit off today".

That should have been it.
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This, really. Although he told me he has been under quite a bit of stress recently :(
 
Castiel said:
Saying that you are giving him credit for his maturity by not accepting responsibility for the unintentional consequences of your own post is somewhat immature, is it not?
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Look, I'd appreciate if this is the last I say on the matter because it's going to start sounding like I have an axe to grind or something against the bloke which I really don't.

It's not immature. It's just a matter of perspective.

I accept my position in somewhat accidently causing his reaction and I am sorry for my role and the fact he's upset. However, to apologise would be to accept that what I did was deliberately wrong. Apologising over this is something you'd do to someone who is too emotionally immature to deal with it yet, to alleviate the hurt and sooth a damaged ego. Unfortunately it's of his own making, and this isn't okay as he deserves to be stronger than that. It may seem a bit cold, but it's harsh-love so to speak. I'm being mature in the sense that I am giving him the credit to overcome it and be a stronger person. If I was to apologise, I would be doing both of us a massive diservice and from such a perspective even disrespecting him which I'm not about.
 
Nix said:
Look, I'd appreciate if this is the last I say on the matter because it's going to start sounding like I have an axe to grind or something against the bloke which I really don't.

It's not immature. It's just a matter of perspective.

I accept my position in somewhat accidently causing his reaction and I am sorry for my role and the fact he's upset. However, to apologise would be to accept that what I did was deliberately wrong. Apologising over this is something you'd do to someone who is too emotionally immature to deal with it yet, to alleviate the hurt and sooth a damaged ego. Unfortunately it's of his own making, and this isn't okay as he deserves to be stronger than that. It may seem a bit cold, but it's harsh-love so to speak. I'm being mature in the sense that I am giving him the credit to overcome it and be a stronger person. If I was to apologise, I would be doing both of us a massive diservice and from such a perspective even disrespecting him which I'm not about.
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This is an incredibly well written post. Want me to forward it to him?
 
Nix said:
Look, I'd appreciate if this is the last I say on the matter because it's going to start sounding like I have an axe to grind or something against the bloke which I really don't.

It's not immature. It's just a matter of perspective.

I accept my position in somewhat accidently causing his reaction and I am sorry for my role and the fact he's upset. However, to apologise would be to accept that what I did was deliberately wrong. Apologising over this is something you'd do to someone who is too emotionally immature to deal with it yet, to alleviate the hurt and sooth a damaged ego. Unfortunately it's of his own making, and this isn't okay as he deserves to be stronger than that. It may seem a bit cold, but it's harsh-love so to speak. I'm being mature in the sense that I am giving him the credit to overcome it and be a stronger person. If I was to apologise, I would be doing both of us a massive diservice and from such a perspective even disrespecting him which I'm not about.
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To apologise would simply imply that you were sorry that BTR was upset by what was an unintentional offence.

The nonsense about showing maturity and showing him disrespect and a dis-service by refusing to accept the unintentional consequence of what you said is just a evasive tactic because you (and I though better of you) don't seem to have the strength of character to say sorry. If you accidental bump into someone do you refuse to apologise simply because it was unintentional? You would have been better served simply posting this part:

I accept my position in somewhat accidentally causing his reaction and I am sorry for my role and the fact he's upset
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We are all guilty of saying something we feel is innocent banter but which is taken personally by the person it is aimed at, it is just common courtesy to apologise for any offence caused if it is clear that the recipient didn't take it in the manner it was intended. It doesn't imply anything more that that.


Is it really that difficult to say "Sorry mate, I meant no offence"....is it?
 
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