Joke of the day

DisrupTor75 · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:14

im sure we all get spammed with jokes from friends and family on our mobiles (i think) and heres the only amusing one i have had in ages. Hopefully it will give you a smile

David Cameron was looking for a lady of the night. He found one such girl in a local pub. After plucking up courage he Approached the her and said "I am the prime minister of England, how much would it cost me to have some time with you?" Looking at him with unveiled contempt, she replied "Mr prime minister if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my knickers as low as my wages, your penis as hard as the times we are living in and keep it rising like the price of petrol and screw me the way you have the pensioners, then it won't cost you a single penny.

TheCenturion · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:15

meh, not bad

6.5/10

RomanNose · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:16

Average.

Zefan · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:17

She should blame Labour for a start, and she's private sector, so what should she expect?

Cleeecooo · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:19

pretty good actually

Derek W · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:23

lolstockhausen.......oh wait what? :confused:

G-MAN2004 · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:29

DisrupTor75 = joke of the day.

J.B · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:32

While I admire your courage I dont not think highly of you joke.
4.5/10

Amp34 · 10 Jul 2011 at 20:34

I wonder when the first version of that was made... Maybe instead of Cameron the original had Pitt?

BRADDERS64 · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:00

The girlfriend is threatening to leave me, she says i relate everything to Batman... psshhh what a joker!

arc@css · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:00

Not bad.

G-MAN2004 · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:14

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so that I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so the moment she walks through the door the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

K1LLSW1TCH · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:19

G-MAN2004 said:
I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so that I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so the moment she walks through the door the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

An old one with loads of variations but:

A rich man and a poor man are buying Christmas presents for their wives, the poor guy says to the rich guy "what did you get your wife?" and the rich guy says I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes, that way if she doesn't like the diamond ring she can drive it back to the store in the Mercedes and still be happy. The rich man says to the poor man "What did you get your wife?", the poor man replies "I got her slippers and a *****, if she doesn't like the slippers then she can go **** herself."

Tikkabhuna · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:27

Hookers pay tax? How very honest of them.

bledd · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:41

G-MAN2004 said:
I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so that I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so the moment she walks through the door the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

Thread is saved by sexist joke

Cleeecooo · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:43

Tikkabhuna said:
Hookers pay tax? How very honest of them.

bledd. said:
Thread is saved by sexist joke

Again...

StoutMeister · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:46

1 out of 10

Megahurtz400 · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:48

Didn't even smile, in fact, it has made this boring, rainy, miserable Sunday about a million times worse.

I hate you and now want to die

DisrupTor75 · 10 Jul 2011 at 21:57

Megahurtz400 said:
Didn't even smile, in fact, it has made this boring, rainy, miserable Sunday about a million times worse.

I hate you and now want to die

Bloody hell glad i didn't post some of the worse ones then, wouldnt want to be responsible for you swinging from the rafters or drowning in a toilet bowl

DirtyRaver · 10 Jul 2011 at 22:05

My wife has packed her bags and gone - just because of my fetish with touching pasta.

I'm feeling canneloni right now.

The wife walked in on me sitting in her wardrobe yesterday and said, "Get out of there! What the hell are you doing?"

I said, "It's Narnia business".