Friday Tumbleweed

PermaChanged · 15 Jul 2011 at 10:28

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with nuts & hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.

hood1971 · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:08

Was funnier when I heard them from tim vine a decade ago

The Dread Pirate · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:14

gillywibble · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:16

Those were the warm up gags at the sermon on the mount.

godinman · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:17

I actually liked those.

The Dread Pirate · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:18

gillywibble said:
Those were the warm up gags at the sermon on the mount.

That was just before God threw those 2 slabs at Moses for his poor delivery!

EdGey · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:30

Haha, genuine laugh at the 'topped himself' one.

DefiantAsh · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:31

alx · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:35

Last time I heard those jokes I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur

TheCenturion · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:40

Love em

The Dread Pirate · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:43

What happened to the "******OFFICAL******" Joke thread has it gone the way of these jokes

RomanNose · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:46

Participant · 15 Jul 2011 at 11:51

What's more uncomfortable than a tumbleweed?

Scrutinize · 15 Jul 2011 at 12:08

so err where have all the joke threads been recently?

Nitefly · 15 Jul 2011 at 12:10

Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea weed

[FnG]magnolia · 15 Jul 2011 at 12:15

some scary Anime nerd said:
Anime Jokes ^_^

i came across this seriously funny joke and it gave me an idea... share ur funny anime jokes!!! (but this might fail incase someone doesnt know the anime...)

BLEACH:
kay so i was trying to find out if zaraki kenpachi from bleach will ever know his swords name/get a bankai cuz he is so damn powerful without it and some dude commented saying

"this is a stupid question because everyone knows zaraki kenpachi will show his bankai on 21st december 2012"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(date of the apocolypse btw)
LMAO

INUYASHA:
where does kagome clean her clothes?
the inu-washa.... LOLOLOL

Your momma so fat that when when Miroku asked her to bear his child, he stopped and said "Oh, I'm sorry, you're already pregnant."

NARUTO:
Yo momma so fat, even Naruto doesn't believe it!

Yo momma so fat, even Neji couldnt hit her chakra points

Yo momma so fat, Neji used Byakugan and couldn't see through her

Yo momma so fat, Kakashi tried to use 1000 years of pain and got stuck

Yo momma so ... hey wait, where is yo momma? (LOLOL SO MEAN)

DEATHNOTE:
L: Kira says what!?
Kira: What!?
Kira: ..Aw ****

POKEMON
Why shouldn't you take a pokemon into the shower with you?
- he might pikachu.

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
- Pokemon

Why doesn't Vulpix want to evolve?
He's afraid he might become naruto..

What in the dear Christ was that crap?

True_Scotsman · 15 Jul 2011 at 12:18

POKEMON
Why shouldn't you take a pokemon into the shower with you?
- he might pikachu.

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
- Pokemon

Made me lol

sad i know.

UncleRuckus · 15 Jul 2011 at 13:03

[FnG]magnolia;19588769 said:
What in the dear Christ was that crap?

Oh dear, my head.

Viper² · 15 Jul 2011 at 13:07

Who are the coolest people in hostpitals?
The Ultrasound people

Who are the coolest people in hostpitals when the Ultrasound people leave?
The hip replacement patients

:cool:

denby · 15 Jul 2011 at 13:43

Rusty_Noob said:
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with nuts & hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.

that's tommy cooper is it not?