Vampires and a bunch of short story proof-readers needed, yo!

Cool thanks! Sent to your Hotmail inbox Alex. Unfortunately there wasn't room enough in the short story (and it wasn't the right place, to be honest) to deeply discuss the vampire's societies, the origin of their 'supernatural' abilities and so on. This short story is a bit of an action-packed romp - just something to help get some characters on paper and get have a bit of fun.

But I'll talk a little here to shed some light upon it.

Originally, I wanted to strip the vampires of everything that was 'illogical' or 'unrealistic' and base them in anthropology and biology. I did some research and discovered some interesting facets of the Neanderthal subspecies. According to analysis of their remains, they were stronger than us and smarter too - with a brain size that eclipses even our own today. Also, it is believed that Neanderthal man was almost exclusively carnivorous. So, here we have an ancestor that is faster, stronger, smarter and also loves a bloody steak - a perfect candidate for my particular brand of vampire.

I quickly realised though, that science could only take me so far – I needed an event that could take them from a dying subspecies and transform them into a kind of recognisable vampire. I’ll try and find an excerpt to illustrate the above.
 
Knocked this up to try to explain the ideas behind their origins:

Once, we were more like you. Both your people and mine evolved from a common ancestor and our races lived alongside each other for many thousands of years. We shared our discoveries and advances with you just as you shared yours. We co-existed peacefully. But even then, our people were more sophisticated than yours: both physically and intellectually. We were stronger of limb, more nimble of action and larger of brain, but despite these natural advantages it was your fellow humans that flourished.

You reproduced at rates that eclipsed our own, you were adaptable omnivorous where we preferred meat and you developed immunities to the diseases that kept our numbers so painfully low. We were the brightest flames, but we burned out the fastest, while your embers were dull but doggedly persistent.

Time passed and together we learned to fashion tools and till the earth, and eventually civilisation of a sorts coalesced. Lacking numbers to create our own nations, our people were scattered to the winds and we integrated quietly into your societies and cultures, unwilling to draw attention to ourselves. Soon we were forgotten to all but our own and humankind considered us nothing but fellow humans. We pursued science and literature, threw our energies into the arts and mathematics. We became a part of you and yet always separate. We watched you and studied you in secret - from afar and from within. We noted many things, but it was your belligerence to outsiders - to anybody that was different – that taught us to remain in the shadows. Soon, much of our ancient lineage was forgotten even to our own people: our tracks buried beneath the dust of integration and cloaked by the shadows of night, but at least our people flourished for a time. As your classical age passed into darkness, so too this golden period for our people soon waned. Our numbers dwindled further and it became clear that extinction of our race was a dark reality.

It was at this time that an ancient volume of crumbling pages and decaying ink was brought before the Elder Council. Within: prophecies both illuminating and dark. It suggested that the “Men of Neander” were destined to be reborn amid despair and would eventually take their place at the head of humankind’s armies in a final, apocalyptic war for eternal redemption. It also warned that in order to bring about this great restoration a “pact so dark as to devour the pure snows it was fired in” must be entered into with “slumbering gods, reawakened”, and that “the Men of Neander must walk a path of crimson shadow”.
Click to expand...
 
Got your email thanks! :D

Will settle down one night over the next 2/3 days and give it a read through :)
 
Forde said:
Knocked this up to try to explain the ideas behind their origins:
Click to expand...

Cheers for the whack of backlore; I tend to prefer a slightly more fantastical/supernatural bent on vampires, but like I say I'm flexible and it's certainly a working concept, and actually shares a couple of themes/concepts with one of the shadow organisations/some elements in my 'mirrorverse', although not in particular to vampires.

I tend to nickname my setting 'What Lies Beneath' which perhaps gives a small hint as to the theme of my universe. It's always been more a prototype setting in my head, with a couple of plot points and a few prototype characters (one of whom was the vampire side character I mentioned earlier) etc rather than something I've ever actually put pen to paper or finger to keyboard over; thematically the closest thing I could liken it to off the top of my head would be a cross between Assassin's Creed and Funcom's upcoming Hidden World, with a few other elements thrown in, but beyond modern day fantasy, that doesn't perhaps say too much.

It's one of probably two scenarios I'd be likely to write something on, the other being the universe I'd been going to use for the "X32I - Redemption" indie title I was working as writer for a couple of years back. I spent a while conceptualising that for the game's purpose so it'd be a shame if nothing ever came out of it.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZumZrOHZBc and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhJTySoYydY)

Recieved your email, will take a look at your short story in the next day or two, probably Tuesday :)

Edit: Man, that's actually made me a little nostalgic/sad looking at those videos for the first time in so long. There were some really good people on the team, it's a real shame it never came together. Was loving our composer's work on the soundtrack for the trailers.
 
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Hey guys, I've had some e-mails back - anyone else managed to have a look? Even if you've just read the first couple of pages I'd like to know your thoughts!
 
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