Most Embarrassing Moment at Someone Else's House

I was once round my ex gf's house when we were all sat down for dinner at the table in the kitchen when I got the sudden feeling I was going to be sick. I very quickly excused myself and ran upstairs to the bathroom. Upon arrival at the toilet I threw up like new before... I mean it came out my mouth.. both nostrils at a decent projectile rate too! :D The noise I was making was awful. About about 5 minutes of the "show" I wandered back downstairs after cleaning up and sat down for dinner again at which point the whole gf's family was just sat there staring at me. :( So naturally I did the manly thing and pretended like it never happened and finished my food and promptly left afterwards. :p
 
Had it off with a mate's girlfriend in the bathroom at a party. The kicker is there was a massive silhouette of us on the window that faced the garden. A lot of people outside were like "Oo look it's *insert names of couple here*", then he walked out into the garden...

Got chased out of the house with a shoe being waved at me.
 
The morning after an insane house party at a freinds house in the middle of the wood I was overcome with the urgent requirement to produce a beer poo. Off I went to the toilet only to discover that someone, the night before had stuffed plastic fruit down the toilet to the point of rendering it useless. I tried in vein to explain this to my grumbling bowel but it was having none of it.

My only course of action was to drop one into a carrier bag and dispose of it “manually”. In principle this sounds not too bad and being in the middle of a wood I figured I would simply throw it into the undergrowth and be on my way.

I did the deed, tied the bag up and ventured outside and prepared my launch, It was beautiful, its arc was something to behold as the turd laden bag oscillated along its flight path. Horror struck me as it snagged a branch 20 meters in the air and about 10 meters away from their front door. There it hung for over 2 years, over their road, swinging in the breeze as a reminder of why you should never leave your kids alone when you go on holiday. Questions were asked as to what it was but to my knowledge my close friends never gave me up.

So Mr and Mrs H from Ingleby Greenhow if your reading this, that bag was full of poo, and I’m so very very sorry.
 
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i honestly think the most humiliating thing you can do is falling over unprevoked... infront of people you dont know...
 
Zefan said:
Had it off with a mate's girlfriend in the bathroom at a party. The kicker is there was a massive silhouette of us on the window that faced the garden. A lot of people outside were like "Oo look it's *insert names of couple here*", then he walked out into the garden...

Got chased out of the house with a shoe being waved at me.
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agnes said:
Dropped my mates baby in his new house...
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:eek:
 
LOAM said:
The morning after an insane house party at a freinds house in the middle of the wood I was overcome with the urgent requirement to produce a beer poo. Off I went to the toilet only to discover that someone, the night before had stuffed plastic fruit down the toilet to the point of rendering it useless. I tried in vein to explain this to my grumbling bowel but it was having none of it.

My only course of action was to drop one into a carrier bag and dispose of it “manually”. In principle this sounds not to bad but being in the middle of a wood I figured I would simply throw it into the undergrowth and be on my way.

I did the deed, tied the bag up and ventured outside and prepared my launch, It was beautiful, its arc was something to behold as the turd laden bag oscillated along its flight path. Horror struck me as it snagged a branch 20 meters in the air and about 10 meters away from their front door. There it hung for over 2 years, over their road, swinging in the breeze as a reminder of why you should never leave your kids alone when you go on holiday. Questions were asked as to what it was but to my knowledge my close friends never gave me up.

So Mr and Mrs H from Ingleby Greenhow if your reading this, that bag was full of poo, and I’m so very very sorry.
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ha i laughed!!
 
I was at my best mate's house after a night clubbing and rushed to the loo to be sick.
Only I didn't raise the toilet seat quick enough....puke went all over the cistern, wall and floor.:o
 
LOAM said:
The morning after an insane house party at a freinds house in the middle of the wood I was overcome with the urgent requirement to produce a beer poo. Off I went to the toilet only to discover that someone, the night before had stuffed plastic fruit down the toilet to the point of rendering it useless. I tried in vein to explain this to my grumbling bowel but it was having none of it.

My only course of action was to drop one into a carrier bag and dispose of it “manually”. In principle this sounds not to bad but being in the middle of a wood I figured I would simply throw it into the undergrowth and be on my way.

I did the deed, tied the bag up and ventured outside and prepared my launch, It was beautiful, its arc was something to behold as the turd laden bag oscillated along its flight path. Horror struck me as it snagged a branch 20 meters in the air and about 10 meters away from their front door. There it hung for over 2 years, over their road, swinging in the breeze as a reminder of why you should never leave your kids alone when you go on holiday. Questions were asked as to what it was but to my knowledge my close friends never gave me up.

So Mr and Mrs H from Ingleby Greenhow if your reading this, that bag was full of poo, and I’m so very very sorry.
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100% true - And I reminded him of it, with props, as part of my Best Mans speech at his wedding :D
 
LOAM said:
The morning after an insane house party at a freinds house in the middle of the wood I was overcome with the urgent requirement to produce a beer poo. Off I went to the toilet only to discover that someone, the night before had stuffed plastic fruit down the toilet to the point of rendering it useless. I tried in vein to explain this to my grumbling bowel but it was having none of it.

My only course of action was to drop one into a carrier bag and dispose of it “manually”. In principle this sounds not too bad and being in the middle of a wood I figured I would simply throw it into the undergrowth and be on my way.

I did the deed, tied the bag up and ventured outside and prepared my launch, It was beautiful, its arc was something to behold as the turd laden bag oscillated along its flight path. Horror struck me as it snagged a branch 20 meters in the air and about 10 meters away from their front door. There it hung for over 2 years, over their road, swinging in the breeze as a reminder of why you should never leave your kids alone when you go on holiday. Questions were asked as to what it was but to my knowledge my close friends never gave me up.

So Mr and Mrs H from Ingleby Greenhow if your reading this, that bag was full of poo, and I’m so very very sorry.
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Trying to laugh quietly at work and nearly crying.
 
~TB~ said:
100% true - And I reminded him of it, with props, as part of my Best Mans speech at his wedding :D
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Indeed, which then became my second most embarrassing moment as all my new in laws wanted to know why I had been handed a Sainsbury’s carrier back with a tightly rolled up newspaper in it.
 
Not me, at my friends 18th a friend was quite drunk and fell face first off a skateboard.
He later rolled in dog turd in the garden then went inside and lay on the sofa.
The living room stunk for ages
 
LOAM said:
Indeed, which then became my second most embarrassing moment as all my new in laws wanted to know why I had been handed a Sainsbury’s carrier back with a tightly rolled up newspaper in it.
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Tut, tut, such a short memory it was a Spar bag, just like the original ;)
 
LOAM said:
The morning after an insane house party at a freinds house in the middle of the wood I was overcome with the urgent requirement to produce a beer poo. Off I went to the toilet only to discover that someone, the night before had stuffed plastic fruit down the toilet to the point of rendering it useless. I tried in vein to explain this to my grumbling bowel but it was having none of it.

My only course of action was to drop one into a carrier bag and dispose of it “manually”. In principle this sounds not too bad and being in the middle of a wood I figured I would simply throw it into the undergrowth and be on my way.

I did the deed, tied the bag up and ventured outside and prepared my launch, It was beautiful, its arc was something to behold as the turd laden bag oscillated along its flight path. Horror struck me as it snagged a branch 20 meters in the air and about 10 meters away from their front door. There it hung for over 2 years, over their road, swinging in the breeze as a reminder of why you should never leave your kids alone when you go on holiday. Questions were asked as to what it was but to my knowledge my close friends never gave me up.

So Mr and Mrs H from Ingleby Greenhow if your reading this, that bag was full of poo, and I’m so very very sorry.
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That has made my night
 
On the subject of embarrassing best man stories...

Before I got married, I did some summer work at a local secondary school. Quite often there would be me and maybe 3 other people in the whole school in. One of the jobs I did was photocopying. Somehow or other, my then girlfriend and I had got to talking about photocopying your bum, so one day when I was confident no one was around I took an A3 copy of my bum. I went one step further and mounted it on yellow card and laminated it, and presented it to her to treasure forever.

My best man (who was actually a woman, but that's another story) referred to this story in her speech, when I got married to the girlfriend in question. Fun times. One of my guests had to explain to one of my wife's elderly, rather deaf, guests, what the story was about. Cue him sat there shouting in this guy's ear "HE PHOTOCOPIED HIS BOTTOM". Amazing.
 
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