![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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Your post is filled with red flags but my favourite is "If not as good looking as my ex". Make sure to bring that up when you next argue
End of relationships - How do you eat yours
- Thread starter wannabedamned
- Start date
Your post is filled with red flags but my favourite is "If not as good looking as my ex". Make sure to bring that up when you next argue
Soldato
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[FnG]magnolia;19754772 said:Your post is filled with red flags but my favourite is "If not as good looking as my ex". Make sure to bring that up when you next argue
Great minds fella!
Man of Honour
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If you don't feel like **** after a breakup then clearly it was time for things to end... if not, it's just normal to feel distraught if deep engrained emotions are involved.
Until you've had a really bad break up after loving somebody, it can be pretty hard to understand. My first one was a crazy mix of emotions - I'd never been so angry, upset and depressed before. Once you get past one of those though it's a lot easier to protect yourself and any sort of breakup since has barely scratched the surface comparatively.
As Zefan says, it's a lot harder to take if you don't end it and want to try and fix it - therein madness lies.
I'm not a friends with exes kinda guy either. It's amicable if I have to see them for some reason, but keeping in close touch seems kind of odd. There's one I wouldn't see, but she was the first and also a crazy manipulator that took me around 2yrs to properly be oer. In general I don't particularly want to hear about the new guy she's ****ing or what she's up to in much detail.
As Zefan says, it's a lot harder to take if you don't end it and want to try and fix it - therein madness lies.
I'm not a friends with exes kinda guy either. It's amicable if I have to see them for some reason, but keeping in close touch seems kind of odd. There's one I wouldn't see, but she was the first and also a crazy manipulator that took me around 2yrs to properly be oer. In general I don't particularly want to hear about the new guy she's ****ing or what she's up to in much detail.
Sounds familiar. I really don't do well with them. My most recent breakup was January and although I kinda feel fine now I saw her today and the walls came crumbling down (not that i'd let her see that).
I wouldn't say I become defined by my relationships or anything like that but, hell, if that person isn't the centre of your world then why be with them? They need to be that important to you and anything that is will be hard to let go.
No offence mate, but I could not live like that. Not putting yourself fully into a relationship? Not opening yourself to that level of love and intimacy? (sounding lame i know)
Thats not living.
It's about finding a balance. I don't think any one person should ever be the centre of your universe. To me a good relationship is a girl who gets on with my friends, but also doesn't mind if I want to go off and do my own thing with friends. Whenever it gets into the 'just me and her' world, I find that's when things get a bit unreal, as you lose all the ties to all the other things that make you who you are - friends, hobbies, work etc.
And that inevitably makes a relationship boring, as all you have to talk about is the relationship if you're never apart to do anything else.
Oh no, don't misunderstand. I don't mean it in the "tied at the hip" kind of way. Just that, they should always be there in your head, always considered in anything your doing.. I can be pretty bad at explaining what I mean with this sort of thing...
Soldato
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Up to a point thats true but you have to be pretty sure before you go the extra mile.
I didnt mean to make it sound as cold as i did TBH.
Im probably basing my opinion on being hurt by relationships ive broken or have been broken on me.
Im just speaking personally, perhaps its not the best advice!
I cut all ties, erase all traces, and throw everything out. Sounds drastic but its the best way in my view. Sob a bit, get angry, depressed etc then set about building myself back up. Like someone else said, I have the odd good memory that surfaces now and then but then I remember the arguments and unhappiness. From past experience trying to fix things is a recipe for grief and a good way to destroy your self-esteem.
Soldato
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Heh. Fair do mara. It certainly sounds more... healthy.. when you explain it like that.
It's easy to write a sentence that to you fully explains what you mean but is missinterpreted by others. Happens to me all the time. As previously stated, I can be pretty bad at explaining myself
Associate
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None of mine have ended well so I don't give my all in it unless I'm sure the other's not gonna mess about. As harsh as it'll sound, makes breakups a bit easier, usually just game for a while until I feel better.
+1.
+1.
Soldato
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Took me a lot of painful experiences to learn that if I don't protect my heart nobody else will, but there comes a time if things get serious when one must commit.
I take the pain, sit with my feelings & get on with life while waiting for them to pass, which they do.... eventually.
I take the pain, sit with my feelings & get on with life while waiting for them to pass, which they do.... eventually.
Soldato
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Heh. Fair do mara. It certainly sounds more... healthy.. when you explain it like that.
It's easy to write a sentence that to you fully explains what you mean but is missinterpreted by others. Happens to me all the time. As previously stated, I can be pretty bad at explaining myself
I can only give my own opinion, its far from "realtionships for dummies"
Ive made a complete mess of things on at least 127 situations(!)
I hurt 2 people to chase something that hurt me. Hence my initial post.
Ah **** it, a prostitute and a fixed price. You're gauranteed to end up ***** but you know exactly how much its gonna cost you.
As has already been said, you stand to hurt roughly to the power of how much you put into the relationship. The more you loved, the worse it'll feel when it goes pear shaped.
It sucks the fat one and is the worst feeling in the world (for some people at least), but it's a fact of life and I'd much sooner have loved and lost and all that
It sucks the fat one and is the worst feeling in the world (for some people at least), but it's a fact of life and I'd much sooner have loved and lost and all that
Soldato
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pretty much sums it up for me too.