I love my wife and children but :

MrKeeno

MrKeeno

MrKeeno

Associate
Joined
13 Mar 2004
Posts
1,929
Location
Derry
My life so far has been pretty mundane by contrast to some of the people on this forum, I drive a crappy 2001 mondeo lx. I drive a van for a living, don’t take sick days and in general have accepted my place in life. I didn’t work at school, I had a lot of potential to go further but was to lazy and too interested in impressing the fairer sex to worry about all that :D

Despite of all this I have a home that most of my more accomplished friends would kill for. I have a wife and two beautiful daughters that are going to cause me many a sleepless night when they are older :) Lets face it, all the crap I lied about is about to come full circle ‘mum, im staying at my mates tonight, just a load of guitars and all’ Aye right

Problem I have atm is there is just nothing between me and the wife anymore. I love her to bits but I don’t love her ‘that way’ if that makes any sense. Married for almost 3 years but going out over 10 :(
 
im going to copy and paste your comment into the divorce paper :)

Seriously though, im hoping for some decent advice from someone that has gone through this or similar.
 
There isn't exactly a problem as such. Just a crappy feeling that things between us are not going to last too much longer. I dont fancy her as much, she has let herself go a bit since we got married despite me being really active and encouraging her.

I bust my nuts getting our life together though, so the thought of leaving and ruining things for my kids is driving me mad, I dont think I can do it.
 
Do you make time for yourselves? Do you have hobbies that get you outside the house, Do you travel to places that are exciting?

Sounds to me like you need to make an effort to rekindle something, as you say, you love her.

You say she's let her self go, Have you?
 
Does she stay at home and look after the kids all day? because that is much harder than it looks. It just drains your life force. Maybe you should go away to a remote b&b for a weekend without the kids. Little kids just drain your energy and vitality out of you.
 
wannabedamned said:
Do you make time for yourselves? Do you have hobbies that get you outside the house, Do you travel to places that are exciting?

Sounds to me like you need to make an effort to rekindle something, as you say, you love her.

You say she's let her self go, Have you?
Click to expand...

Nope. Cycle to work everyday. I actually put her through the test and handed over the car keys. We cant afford 2 cars so the plan always was to let her take the car and get herself to work/school and I would cycle into work.

As for going to exciting places, its a bit hard with no babysitters and pushing 60hrs a week. Keep the advice coming though guys, its all good.
 
busman said:
There isn't exactly a problem as such. Just a crappy feeling that things between us are not going to last too much longer. I dont fancy her as much, she has let herself go a bit since we got married despite me being really active and encouraging her.

I bust my nuts getting our life together though, so the thought of leaving and ruining things for my kids is driving me mad, I dont think I can do it.
Click to expand...


Good cop: Don't make rash decisions that will potentially have a massive effect upon all of your lives. I'm sure everyone goes through this type of rough patch and you should hang on to see whether you come out of the other side. You should think long and hard about what things you can do to enjoy time with your wife. I know it's hard with kids, but try and go to a restaurant, or the cinema or just go for a long walk in the country or something.

Bad cop: You also made a massive commitment by getting married and having children so you should take responsibility for your actions and suck it up, to be honest.

Either way, relationships are hard, work can be hard, money is hard for most people and raising kids is hard so it's understandable you are not feeling great! Good luck with it all :D
 
Dont get me wrong guys. I would endure a lifetime of misery if it meant my kids where happy.

Not sure that this could be described as a rough patch though, its basically been rough for as long as i can remember :(
 
Ok before I go to bed I feel I should explain some things.

I always fancied the hell out of her, she has really long legs and I loved them from the start :) We went with each other in a nightclub after I arranged the bus, twas a good night and we got on great :)

We got on brilliant for a good while but things fizzled out as they do when you are young. We kept seeing each other for a while but eventually I had to tell her it wasnt working out and it was over for me. She was ok about it and I thought things were ok.

About 2 days later I got a text saying she was sorry for everything and she was sorry for what he was going to put me through??? Safe to say it was a quick dash from work to her mums house. It was locked up and I had to use a wheel brace to smash through a double glazing window to find her in a sorry state. I'll not go into details but you can guess. She didn't have the best of childhoods.

We patched things up after that and ended up having our first wee girl. Best thing that ever happened to the both of us. We got married and had our latest, almost 2 now.

This is why its not so black and white as some people might think. There is a lot of history and a lot of crap we have overcome to get here. Its a real pity I feel the way I do atm after all this :(
 
How old your girls?? I have two girls. Felt the same when my oldest was four,went on for about a year,but got over it and is well worth it.
Things are good now we have holidays apart and ones together, do you get time for just the two of you cause i found that what i needed. Now my two are odler we get left alone more now.
 
Give me my life back....................read this and it was scary similarities. Same time married I have 2 boys, and I ride to work so she can have the car same house step up

Not in the same boat relationship wise. But when women get married they do tend to let themselves go a bit

With my misses it was her education that bugged me, she was smart but never finished A levels. So I worked hard to bring in the money and she decided to go back to College to do Accountancy. She always loves math.

Now she is a qualified Professional and much happier, and I found that wanting to be with someone is just as much their attitude as yours. If they are down you pick up on it.

It was hard for me working to let her go back to education, but we are more active now as a family.

Maybe see if there is something she wants to do..........
 
eldest is 8 and the youngest is almost 2. Both in line to be heart breakers as well for both me and future boyfriends :)
 
stick it out, relationships go through this sort of thing and like its been said it's easy to make rash decisions. try and make time for a holiday and something to do something just with your wife every now and then.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom