I love my wife and children but :

[TW]Fox;19827694 said:
There is nothing wrong with a 2001 Mondeo LX. The 2001 Mondeo is a great car. It handles well, the interior is decent and it's reasonably well specified. You'd need to spend a whole heap more to get a better car, and it probably wouldn't even be THAT much better. Your car is fundamentally the same as a 2006 Mondeo..
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Which is its better just to rent a nice shiny new 911 for the weekend from time to time:D
 
[TW]Fox;19827694 said:
There is nothing wrong with a 2001 Mondeo LX. The 2001 Mondeo is a great car. It handles well, the interior is decent and it's reasonably well specified. You'd need to spend a whole heap more to get a better car, and it probably wouldn't even be THAT much better. Your car is fundamentally the same as a 2006 Mondeo..
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Excellent - reminds me of the joke that keeps getting posted that ends with 'How do I get the scratch out?'.

Anyway OP, I can only empathise with you and the only advice I can give is for you both to sit down and try and sort it.
I've never been in that situaltion and I've been married for 31 years.
Me and Mrs Dimple still act like teenagers and our daughters can often be heard saying 'Get a room' or 'Dad, get your hands off Mums arse'.
There's no jealousy between us either and we're both not bothered when the other goes out because of trust.
I'm not saying nothing has ever gone wrong, for instance she might go in a bit of a mood and then you eventually get the reason which will be something like 'I wish you'd stop leaving band gear in the living room because I have to try and move it out of the way while hoovering'.
Sometimes some things are so simple to fix.
 
Like others have said maybe you just need some changes to shake up the relationship. Maybe the two of you are just like one depressed person and can overcome it. Maybe you need to start living life together, and doing individual things too. Get out of the rut!

On the other hand maybe it really isn't going to work and in my opinion you shouldn't let your kids cloud your judgement. Sure it's best if kids can have two parents together but not if you are miserable. They are better with happy separated parents and there are plenty out there. There would obviously be a window of misery but you'd all get through it.

I think you should have a go shaking up the relationship. If it doesn't work, don't kid yourself. Get out of it and don't give up on your life. By the sounds of it, in a way you have traded your life for hers and that is so wrong! If it comes to it, claim your life back, you won't regret it.
 
Oxy said:
I don't know how you feel but I'm 28, single and will die alone... Can we swap?
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36 and single here.

You realise when you get to this age, meeting new people doesn't happen too much, therefore chances of a relationship are slim.

I don't really regret anything though. This is all for another thread though I guess.
 
AndyCr15 said:
36 and single here.

You realise when you get to this age, meeting new people doesn't happen too much, therefore chances of a relationship are slim.

I don't really regret anything though. This is all for another thread though I guess.
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Nearly 32 and single. Sometimes i'd give anything for a mundane life and a few kids.
 
AndyCr15 said:
Can someone who's still in a long term relationship (and I'm talking 5+ years) tell me, do you really continue to 'fancy' someone at that point?

I've been in a 4 year and 7 year, things seem to change around 3 to 5 years. You love each other, but not 'fancy'. The grass starts to look greener elsewhere and it all starts to fall apart?
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Yes you can still fancy them but by that stage you take them for granted so it doesn't seem as exciting as when you first start courting a new partner. I chose the word courting because some people get off on the thrill of the chase, you know, flirting, growing closer, fantasising about them, first kiss that starts on the cheek but doesn't end there etc.

You get a lot more direct signals of interest from a new partner than you do from a long term one, they just go through the motions saying "love you" and give you a kiss goodbye but it almost becomes routine in the way that a handshake with a friend does. You don't get all excited at the prospect of when you are next going to see them.

So I think even if you fancy someone just as much it will still 'feel' different once you are in a settled stable relationship.
 
Sounds to me that routine could be killing the spark in yer relationship with yer wife and your wife is probably thinking the same thing.

You need to introduce something new to the relationship below is a couple of ideas.

Make an arrangement to spend at least one night a week with your wife NO TV just some light music a couple of glasses of wine and a nice meal. If your wife generally does the cooking YOU cook for her if not take it in turns (if you cant be bothered to cook takeout will do). No tv helps to get conversation going but stay away from topics relating to your kids or work.

Remember the time when you first met your wife? Try and relive them memories places events ect.

Bedroom department can become stale in a relationship, try new things. Toys, food roleplay and dvds are options. Stay AWAY from introducing more people into yer sexual relationship this could make things a hell of lot worse. Bare in mind this would only work in short term at reingnighting the relationship.

Leave little notes around the house for each other hidden in places you know they will find them telling them something you like about the person.

Ultimately no matter how much you love a person you need to work at the relationship.
 
Give it time - things go in phases, just as you loved her and it's now gone stale, so can it pick up again.

Life can be mundane when you spend most of your time working, then coming home and being too knackered to do anything, but when those kids are older and you have more time to yourselves it can pick up again.

Give it time, and a bit of patience and effort !
 
Go to marriage counseling to be honest. If you tell her you don't love her anymore, you might set off something you'd really feel guilty about, especially if she had emotional problems in the past.

If you say to her that you feel your not really getting much out of life at the moment, even though you should be thankful for what you have, she might actually understand and sympathize, whilst obviously being concerned, probably not distraught and in a total mess about it all due to worry.
 
busman said:
Nope. Cycle to work everyday. I actually put her through the test and handed over the car keys. We cant afford 2 cars so the plan always was to let her take the car and get herself to work/school and I would cycle into work.
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So i take it she works, plays house and does all for the little ones, whilst you work 60 hours. I reckon she works longer hours than you do.

Ask yourself are you prepared to leave your children and are you prepared when said ex meets mister right and your children then adore him.

I have a strange relationship with my ex partner, i still see him most days and he has never dated anyone else. The only thing that i find to compare to explain.

http://www.darndivorce.com/bruce-willis-and-demi-moores-very-strange-divorce/
 
I love her to bits but I don’t love her ‘that way’ if that makes any sense.
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I suggest you arrest this problem ASAP. This is kinda what killed my marriage and I realized it too late. Seeing each other everyday causes the "spark" to fizzle. You have to work hard at keeping it burning - but it can be done. Really work on finding time for each other. Go away for the weekend etc. Not easy with a family I know but try and do something about this as its something thats so important i cannot stress it enough. Like I said - hindsights a ___h and I wish I had thought this way. Dont make the mistake I did.

Also I see others on here saying 30-something and single "cant meet anyone" blah blah blah. Oh man....36=young you guys talk like youre 86! Dont resign yourself to loneliness. New haircut, new threads and get your ass out there. I say this from experience because its how I got myself back on my feet after she left me 2 years ago. Ive joined fitness classes, do martial arts you name it im there. Met loads of cool people. Dont stay stuck at home with COD4 - get out get out get *OUT there*.
 
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