Remain seated or stand to wipe?

Gimpymoo · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:13

Too many posts which made me chuckle.

Pate · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:13

kylew said:
Maybe you just have really undeveloped glutes or something.

Why bother even sitting down at all if you can wipe while standing?

Could you even imagine the hiroshima of splashbacks if you tried shtting standing up?

coupe69 · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:14

arknor said:
its obvious when you have a bad poo and u must try to whipe before standing up.

I must have too many of these so called "bad poos"

whitecrook · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:14

i drag myself along the carpet. missus hates it but meh

Pate · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:14

coupe69 said:
How can you possibly wipe your arse properly while standing up

Imagine an old style card reader.

:cool:

Just like a G-String flossing....

[FnG]magnolia · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:15

This thread needs a poll. We also need to throw in a potentially complicating factor - wet wipes, yes or no?

stulid · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:16

You have to be concerned for the person who starts a thread like this to find out of peoples butt wiping methods.

PermaChanged · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:16

What is wiping for? Surely you just do your business, re-pant yourself and head out for the rest of your joyous day avoiding wedgies so as to not dirty your underwear?

arknor · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:17

Bennie-Mac said:
Are you saying that your anus is on display 24/7? Surely everyones cheeks close when you stand up hence why it's called your arse crack and not an arse canyon

It sounds to me like you have no need to sit while having a poo, the whole point of sitting is to spread your cheeks so you don't get poo on them.

no im not but im saying the gap doesnt suddenly squeeze together as soon as i stop sitting spread on a toilet... unless you have a bad diet your poos shouldnt leave much behind... in which casde its safe to stand and whipe

coupe69 · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:17

Rusty_Noob said:
What is wiping for? Surely you just do your business, re-pant yourself and head out for the rest of your joyous day avoiding wedgies so as to not dirty your underwear?

And wait for the inevitable dangleberries and clagnuts to form?

Bennie-Mac · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:18

[FnG]magnolia;19833115 said:
This thread needs a poll. We also need to throw in a potentially complicating factor - wet wipes, yes or no?

Yes to poll, no to wet wipes. Wet wipes give lower friction which lessens the "feel" only with toilet paper can you truely gauge when wiping is no longer necessary.

Gimpymoo · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:18

[FnG]magnolia;19833115 said:
wet wipes, yes or no?

If the pan looks like an explosion in a **** factory then wet wipes are very usefull.

Lightnix · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:18

Rusty_Noob said:
What is wiping for? Surely you just do your business, re-pant yourself and head out for the rest of your joyous day avoiding wedgies so as to not dirty your underwear?

In fact, no undies and a kilt. Problem solved.

PermaChanged · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:22

coupe69 said:
And wait for the inevitable dangleberries and clagnuts to form?

You don't wax? I knew OcUK had a few strange folk but this takes the biscuit.

[FnG]magnolia · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:22

This is not my work but raises the stakes somewhat I feel.

kylew · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:22

arknor said:
no im not but im saying the gap doesnt suddenly squeeze together as soon as i stop sitting spread on a toilet... unless you have a bad diet your poos shouldnt leave much behind... in which casde its safe to stand and whipe

I was being serious about the undeveloped glutes. If you've got "normal" (glutes of normal western people are undeveloped as it is) glutes, you should have to "dig" a bit to wipe while standing up.

kylew · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:23

kenmare said:
Could you even imagine the hiroshima of splashbacks if you tried shtting standing up?

Arachibutyrophobia comes to mind.

Hahaha. Seems to work for Aknor. What must he do for pants?

arknor · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:34

kylew said:
I was being serious about the undeveloped glutes. If you've got "normal" (glutes of normal western people are undeveloped as it is) glutes, you should have to "dig" a bit to wipe while standing up.

my glutes are fine :S i can squeeze my cheeks together pretty hard if i want to, maybe i cant crack a nut though but someone would have a hardtime trying to me in prison

Tephnos · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:37

I'm pretty sure squatting leaves the cheeks fairly open, which is what most 'standing' people probably do. Hell, I remember reading the best ****ing position is the squat.

Gimpymoo · 15 Aug 2011 at 02:37

http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=19833163

I am sure they would find a way.