Anyone tried to teach their partners to drive?

Buchanan0204 · 23 Oct 2011 at 05:10

Well... I recently took my girlfriend out on a little driving lesson.

I've spent around 3 hours in total with her, giving her a few shots. Explaining the clutch, gears and general control.

Unfortunately... she doesn't seem to be grasping it. She can slowly take away using the clutch only, then using the gas. Can't do both at the same time. She then struggles to steer, moving across lines. It took me around 45 minutes to explain it wasn't a PS3 game and that when you turn the wheel one direction you have to turn it back to correct it. It doesn't do it for you.

I felt myself explaining things to her I thought were just common sense and blatantly obvious. I then showed her how to go from 1st to 2nd. This was almost impossible for her. The left hand came off the wheel, only for the right hand still on the wheel to turn it half a turn (what's with that) Then revved the nuts off it as she doesn't take her foot of the clutch as she's scared.

Now... I don't expect too much as she is only learning. However these are things you would expect a 13 year old to be able to do. Remember this is all done on spare ground, industrial estate type areas... where there is no mirrors needing done or consideration for other cars as there isn't any.

So... Should I just give up? Pass her over to a proper instructor (I was trying to save her a few quid before she went with one) Or.... Should she stick to trains

I'm a judo coach, so I'm a competent instructor and I'm very very patient, always encouraging and calming. However it's just a no go to be honest. Never seen anyone this bad.

Opinions please guys?

matthab · 23 Oct 2011 at 06:41

Take her to a quiet car park and just let her play. Some people take longer than others to grasp the basics.

It may also be harder for her to learn from you. I would get a proper instructor to give her some lessons and then you take her out inbetween?

commited · 23 Oct 2011 at 07:52

I taught my girlfriend how to drive - it was a stressful and potentially relationship damaging experience BUT it does help to have additional lessons along with those from a qualified instructor.

Probably best to get a pro in at this stage if she's struggling with the basics.

Jonny ///M · 23 Oct 2011 at 07:59

I'd give it up and get a proper driving instructor as I know what I'd be like.

Moaning at women and asking how they can't do such a simple task,to us annyway, doesn't get you anywhere in my experience.

My instructor had me on an NSL road telling me to overtake a tractor on my first lesson and that was from driving on driving games and having a mechanical knowledge of how clutches work etc.

Hotwired · 23 Oct 2011 at 08:07

Was attempted by my parents quite a while back.

Idea got shelved after my mother wrecked the car on a tree during a stressful session.

Still can't drive, relies on my dad for longer distance stuff or heavy shopping.

moss · 23 Oct 2011 at 08:19

I taught my ex girlfriend to drive, she picked it up ridiculously quickly, her clutch control/observation and steering were all fantastic pretty much from the start. I'm guessing shes probably the exception, I could imagine had things not gone so well it would have been a much more stressful experience.

Tarqy · 23 Oct 2011 at 08:22

I've done this with my partner and was left in a similar situation, she just didn't seem to be able to grasp the basics. I'm going to pass her over to a professional and will see how it goes.

Cosimo · 23 Oct 2011 at 08:42

Teaching partners (women) is a bad idea. Pay an instructor to have all the stress.

sovietspybob · 23 Oct 2011 at 09:26

I think people should be introduced to the concepts of driving at an earlier age, when their mind is still more receptive to learning, my dad used to take my out to waste land in his land rover from as soon as i could reach the pedals, and he's done the same with my sister so at least when you start driving at 17 its not such a steep learning curve.

Begbie · 23 Oct 2011 at 09:32

I tried to teach my ex, she had a license but she was terrible. I have never sat with a worse driver! She would see a red light and keep approaching it at full speed untill she was pretty much in breaking distance of the line, try and overtake in 30s, hit things all the time.

So yeah, no way would I be teaching a girlfriend.

lee20010 · 23 Oct 2011 at 10:58

To be fair I was bad when I started, it's more a confidence issue I'd say, like the more you mess up (and my clutch control was bad) the more you focus on doing it wrong rather then relaxing on perfecting it...Maybe that was just me though

[TW]Fox · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:01

I honestly think that if somebody didnt show enough interest in driving to be wanting to get it done at 17, 18 etc then they are more likely than not to never make a particularly good driver. People generally suck at things they have no interest in. Case in point, I suck at Cricket.

placeholder · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:02

matthab said:
Take her to a quiet car park and just let her play.

And afterwards you can teach her to drive!!

To the OP I would say let her get a few lessons under her belt with an instructor who will be better at teaching the very basics. Once she has this done it wont be such a headache to take her out in the car.

lee20010 · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:03

[TW]Fox;20376502 said:
I honestly think that if somebody didnt show enough interest in driving to be wanting to get it done at 17, 18 etc then they are more likely than not to never make a particularly good driver. People generally suck at things they have no interest in. Case in point, I suck at Cricket.

I wouldnt say that. Im 23 and I never bothered till this year. Then again I lived in London till I was 20 and then all my gf's drove when I moved lol

I too suck at cricket

[TW]Fox · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:04

lee20010 said:
I wouldnt say that. Im 23 and I never bothered till this year.

And given you've not even been driving a year, I've no idea how good you are. That said I was mostly referring to people who suddenly decide aged 40 they want a driving license.

lee20010 · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:06

I'm an ok driving. Maybe not perfect but good enough IMO.

But yeah its the same with most things, if you don't get it done early, it's likely it wont be done at all..Like learning Spanish..

IAmATeaf · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:09

Get her some lessons with a driving instructor then when she's fairly competent get a friend of hers to take her for extra lessons, this is what I did for the wife, result being an entirely stress free and easy life, for me

Amoeba · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:19

[TW]Fox;20376502 said:
I honestly think that if somebody didnt show enough interest in driving to be wanting to get it done at 17, 18 etc then they are more likely than not to never make a particularly good driver. People generally suck at things they have no interest in. Case in point, I suck at Cricket.

Or maybe some people just can't afford it 17, 18 etc?

I waited til after uni and I'd got a job to take my lessons as there wouldn't have been a cat in Hell's chance of affording it any earlier. This doesn't make me a bad driver. Same happened with my girlfriend, few of my mates, an ex girlfriend...

[TW]Fox · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:31

Amoeba said:
Or maybe some people just can't afford it 17, 18 etc?

Or maybe some people dont read threads?

That said I was mostly referring to people who suddenly decide aged 40 they want a driving license.

Amoeba · 23 Oct 2011 at 11:37

[TW]Fox;20376692 said:
Or maybe some people dont read threads?

To be fair the majority of this thread is about teaching 'girlfriends' to drive, which I would wager are a fair bit younger than 40.

If we are going to talk about teaching older people to drive, I would bet that it is more to do with older people finding learning in general more tricky than young people rather than not being interested in driving. My ex couldn't care less about driving, yet she is still rather good at it...