Am I being a 2 faced douche

Bes said:
I'd probably tell him to do one, but that's just me :)
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No its not just you, I recently kicked my best friend to the curb who I've known for over seventeen years. every time he meets a new girl he has a personality transplant and forgets about everyone else for months! But when the **** hits the fan he comes running back, well not anymore ;). What really brought this to a head was when my mum was dying everyone was there for me except him, he was non existent the selfish **** I've always been there for him :(.
 
I wouldn't go, he clearly doesn't care about having you as a friend otherwise he wouldn't just abandon you with no calls or texts for aeons.

Or if you really wanted to be spiteful, you could go and ruin his wedding...
 
:) lol

had to post this...

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You've given it a go and he doesn't seem to want to get things sorted. I would tell him you can't be his best man if he doesn't actually speak to you.
 
Text him how I'm feeling saying I don't feel comfortable being best man any more. Balls in his court, we shall see what he says.

Also found out that the other 2 friends from our group have only been invited to the reception. Definitely feels like the only reason I have a full invite is because I'm best man, and I'm only best man because he has nobody else.

Still feel like I've been a **** though...
 
Ok, reviving an old thread, but thought I would let you all know how it went.

I did it. I had a chat to some people, spoke to him, and decided that I would go with it for old times sake. I also convinced one of the other friends from our group to get back in touch, and they met up, and she decided to go to the wedding too, so that was good.

Anyway, onto being best man. Its fairly simple really. I made sure he turned up at the church, I told him if he did a runner I would be rugby tackling him, I gave the vicar the rings, and I made sure all the required people were in the required photos, and it went fine.

Oh, there was a stag do too. It was a sunday night so was dead, but he works stupid shifts. However, the paintballing before hand went very well :). If you ever go on a stag do, make sure you let the paintballing place know :). Being willingly shot repeatedly by 30 people gave me some speech material :).

And then there was the speech. It went well too. I spent a while sorting it out, and planning it, and had a little show and tell on the go. It also helped that the groom and father of the bride speeches sucked! The groom litterally stood up, said "I don't do speeches, thank you all for coming, over to Des", and the father of the bride did exactly the same, but added in a toast, and handed over to me :).

A little practical gag with a bunch of cards at the start to break the ice, went down great. Thank everyone, tick. Comment on the bride, tick. Then onto the groom. Tell some stories, embarress him a little, talk about how you were good mates, tick.

Hold up tshirt from paintballing completely covered in paint (and a little blood) to demonstraite "no sense no feeling", tick :)

And following on from this thread, hold up A3 picture of groom dressed as Posh Spice for a final laugh, sorted!

Propose toast, thank everyone, job done.

Go to reception, get groom trollied so he throws up, check bride doesn't want to kill you (she didn't, I don't think), lead conga line around the whole place, wake up with a stonking hang over.

Complete. Job done.

Thinking about hiring myself out as a professional Best Man :)

I've not heard from the groom since though, and don't expect to, but I did it for old times sake and it was a great day.
 
PermaBanned said:
Glad to know it went well, would be a shame not to use this as an excuse not to stay in touch though, surely?
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Yeah, I'm trying, but were back to the same situation again of living 80 miles apart, him never replying to messages, and him now being married to a woman I can't stand. I am putting more effort in though.

HybridX said:
Just go.... there's bound to be some Bridesmaids that require a pasty smashing!
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Uh, the wedding was 2 weeks ago...

And one was 14, the other was married, and my girlfriend was there.
 
Yay you did the right thing :)

I had a similar situation with an old mate who I hadn't seen since I started uni (he got into a pattern of drug addiction and I was in another country for a few years) but he got married and asked if id spend the week before to come down and help set up (along with another very old mate who was old mate who was best man). Bit awkward for the first hour or so when we were catching up before the stag doo but a few hours in I could remember why we had always been friends despite the problems. The wedding was loads of fun too, despite being tiring work and me and the best man being up till about 5am going on about the patty (get into the last man standing competition as always happens when we drink together).

Anyway weddings are always as much fun as you make them and it sounds like you did exactly the best thing :D
 
Ive read all the posts and have come to the following conclusion.

1) Stop being a girl.
2) Tell him you dont want to be best man.
3) Ask if you still can attend the stag do.

Fixed.

edit: argh, just seen update. Advice still stands!
 
PondPikey said:
Ive read all the posts and have come to the following conclusion.

1) Stop being a girl.
2) Tell him you dont want to be best man.
3) Ask if you still can attend the stag do.

Fixed.

edit: argh, just seen update. Advice still stands!
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1) I did
2) I did

We met up, chatted through things, he appologised for fading away, and I decided to be best man for old times sake.

3) Wasnt an issue after 2.

sbi5ar said:
This...

Why just let the friendship fade away. Plan something for Xmas... A night out when he isn't working etc...
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Unfortunately, he comes as a package with his wife, and I have already been told by a number of people who I have invited around for New Years that if she comes, they wont. Having a bunch of friends there that I see regularly and speak to lots outweighs having one there I haven't really spoken too for ages.

I will still push to keep in touch and things though. Just like I did for the first year or so that he drifted away. I will see how it goes.

Its a shame, but at the end of the day, you can't choose who your friends fall in love with, and he's happy so I can't hold that against him.
 
This actually reminds me that I haven't been in contact with my best mate from school in about a year. Relationships such as these are difficult to maintain; people change, their lifestyles change and people grow apart. That's not to mean that people are bad for doing so. It's hard work to stay in touch and requires a concerted effort from both parties. I wouldn't hold a grudge for people that don't keep in touch as I know how hard it is.
 
Bes said:
I'd probably tell him to do one, but that's just me :)
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this.

Bristol city fan I see :-)


I've lost so many friends to girls, they get hitched and literally just disappear. Can't say I wouldn't do the same thing though, but I haven't in 23 years on this planet thus far. But we'll see.
 
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