I Think the Misses is about.....?

Another relationship thread, i thought it's "the season to be jolly"

However have you taken her feelings into account, 3 kids and christmas and finances are tight is going to cause arguments, it's one of the stressful times of year where unfortunately we take it out on our lover.

Also are you doing your bit to help out, doing the dinner/washing up putting the kids to bed, the more you help out the less she has to mope on you about something that is less trivial. Communication is the key and im guessing she's stressed out with having to be a full time mum.

Am I doing my bit...

Well for starters I get the kids ready for bed and put them there every night, I make every evening meal & wash up put away, I even do my own washing & ironing even somtimes I do her's & the Kids stuff. every weekend I take us all out shopping to please her as she's stuck in the house all the time - I do all Doc's appointments for the kids, I even use my Dinner break from work to take My Son to Nursery every day (She picks him up). When I get up in the morning I get my Son washed Dressed, make Breakfast and sort him out ready for nursery while she sleeps as she deals with the other two later that monring.
Also the baby I do the night feeds last one at midnight one at 4 am and another around 8am......

and yet she still says I dont do enough! this is where the argument starts as Im always tired from working all day and doing the above the rest of the time, I get no time to myself really.
 
Kids are involved = serious business. OP, did you do anything in particular to make her angry? Not clear from your posts if its a general simmer-to-boiled scenario or if you messed up (if, indeed, you did mess up ofc) on something significant.

EDIT: Read the above post and it becomes clearer. Sounds you are putting in hell-for-leather there dude, not sure wtf she is complaining about....
 
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Stab her because she wants to watch a different TV programme than you.

Could she be getting a bit on the side and looking for any excuse to drive you away? Not saying this is the case but just asking.
 
Am I doing my bit...

Well for starters I get the kids ready for bed and put them there every night, I make every evening meal & wash up put away, I even do my own washing & ironing even somtimes I do her's & the Kids stuff. every weekend I take us all out shopping to please her as she's stuck in the house all the time - I do all Doc's appointments for the kids, I even use my Dinner break from work to take My Son to Nursery every day (She picks him up). When I get up in the morning I get my Son washed Dressed, make Breakfast and sort him out ready for nursery while she sleeps as she deals with the other two later that monring.
Also the baby I do the night feeds last one at midnight one at 4 am and another around 8am......

and yet she still says I dont do enough! this is where the argument starts as Im always tired from working all day and doing the above the rest of the time, I get no time to myself really.


Yep sounds like she's walking all over for you.

Tell her exactly what you just said to us, sounds to me that you are doing more of your fair share and she is not compromising, where does she work?

Also sounds like she's very depressed PND.
 
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She does do a lot around the house when im at work though so she's not lazy. one of the issues is my tidy is not her tidy stupid but she wont admit she has OCD.....
she flips at me if i dont do things her way - shes always been hard to please in this way, Bedroom bit no problem there ive always been able to sort that out (Not to boast but tis true :-) ). I hardly think she is going elsewhere just yet - I think she may be looking though......

She's very highly strung & im a take it easy and relax kinda guy -I do my bit and recently stepped it up some more since the 3rd child came along but it's never enough.

If it's the end its the end - as long as I see my kids thats the hardest part losing them.

Dave1983 she works in a Care Home but currently on Manternity she did work Sat & Sun as I work Mon -Fri
 
Am I doing my bit...

Well for starters I get the kids ready for bed and put them there every night, I make every evening meal & wash up put away, I even do my own washing & ironing even somtimes I do her's & the Kids stuff. every weekend I take us all out shopping to please her as she's stuck in the house all the time - I do all Doc's appointments for the kids, I even use my Dinner break from work to take My Son to Nursery every day (She picks him up). When I get up in the morning I get my Son washed Dressed, make Breakfast and sort him out ready for nursery while she sleeps as she deals with the other two later that monring.
Also the baby I do the night feeds last one at midnight one at 4 am and another around 8am......

and yet she still says I dont do enough! this is where the argument starts as Im always tired from working all day and doing the above the rest of the time, I get no time to myself really.

Have you taken these feelings up with her? Because if you have and she is still kicking of like a bitch then you have to consider what is best for your children and do so accordingly. THOSE little sprites are your main priority.
 
Am I doing my bit...

Well for starters I get the kids ready for bed and put them there every night, I make every evening meal & wash up put away, I even do my own washing & ironing even somtimes I do her's & the Kids stuff. every weekend I take us all out shopping to please her as she's stuck in the house all the time - I do all Doc's appointments for the kids, I even use my Dinner break from work to take My Son to Nursery every day (She picks him up). When I get up in the morning I get my Son washed Dressed, make Breakfast and sort him out ready for nursery while she sleeps as she deals with the other two later that monring.
Also the baby I do the night feeds last one at midnight one at 4 am and another around 8am......

and yet she still says I dont do enough! this is where the argument starts as Im always tired from working all day and doing the above the rest of the time, I get no time to myself really

Sounds ample to me. Same situation as myself.

Do you ever make time to go out as a couple? or is it kids kids kids?
 
Get a cleaner for a few hours a week for starters

Get the kids with relatives or a sitter for at least an evening a week so you can have some time off with your misses
 
You need to have a calm talk with her.

It's really easy to escalate a chat to an argument if there are feelings of resentment on both sides, this is your biggest challenge, stay calm, listen to her and respond but make your point. Tell her straight out that you don't want to argue and that you're feeling terrible and that you just want to talk things over, ask her what she wants, tell her how you feel. Just keep calm.

Or something like that.
 
With 3 kids, both of you need to act like adults, you cant just run away, the amount of people my age I see just split up with kids is shocking, its not easy being a parent.
 
Maybe the secrecy is actually all about your christmas prezzie. One day you'll come home to find her in bed with someone else.... another woman.... and you'r einvited :p
 
She does do a lot around the house when im at work though so she's not lazy. one of the issues is my tidy is not her tidy stupid but she wont admit she has OCD.....
she flips at me if i dont do things her way - shes always been hard to please in this way, Bedroom bit no problem there ive always been able to sort that out (Not to boast but tis true :-) ). I hardly think she is going elsewhere just yet - I think she may be looking though......

She's very highly strung & im a take it easy and relax kinda guy -I do my bit and recently stepped it up some more since the 3rd child came along but it's never enough.

If it's the end its the end - as long as I see my kids thats the hardest part losing them.

Dave1983 she works in a Care Home but currently on Manternity she did work Sat & Sun as I work Mon -Fri


My wife is a carer and i can see the issues you have, my wife can sometimes be abit head strong but i just do my own things, had the exact same issue but told her to get a grip. The reason why she is going out is to have a breather from being a mum, but at the moment you have become second best "this happens" just be very supportive and say what ever you choose i will be there for the kids.

Sounds like she has PND, and not dealing with her problems very well, hence the reason why she is not being open to you. "again just be supportive and say when your ready to talk you know where i am " this will make her come to you not the other way round.


The phone issue, theres not a lot you can do about, accept bringing up the subject, but try not to act insecure just explain that she's been acting secretive and im worried that you don't have the same feelings like you used to" or it feels like you hiding something from me. always use the word "i feel"

i.e. i feel that i dont feel appreciated anymore.

hope this helps

D
 
She does do a lot around the house when im at work though so she's not lazy. one of the issues is my tidy is not her tidy stupid but she wont admit she has OCD.....
she flips at me if i dont do things her way - shes always been hard to please in this way, Bedroom bit no problem there ive always been able to sort that out (Not to boast but tis true :-) ). I hardly think she is going elsewhere just yet - I think she may be looking though......

She's very highly strung & im a take it easy and relax kinda guy -I do my bit and recently stepped it up some more since the 3rd child came along but it's never enough.

If it's the end its the end - as long as I see my kids thats the hardest part losing them.

Dave1983 she works in a Care Home but currently on Manternity she did work Sat & Sun as I work Mon -Fri
Hmm,

Same problem in regards to the "not her kind of tidy" - also all my ex's & current partner have been highly strung (compared to me & it seems you and most men) - I think it may be a woman thing more than your partner thing.

Does she work weekends to be able to look after the kids during the day?, I mean does she work full or part time?.

As that can also cause problems (part time workers syndrome I call it) - where they think doing 4 hours a day a couple of times a week is as stressful as a 40+ hour job with loads of responsible.

I've know people who have had that problem in the past,

"Yes dear, the 12 hours a week you work in a shop is exactly as stressful as the 40 I work - managing a team of 5 with 100's of deadlines & constantly having to push for promotions".
 
Yup I Think the misses is about to leave me :(

Feeling down as you would expect also with the time of year it is just makes it worse..... We have 3 Kids together all under 4 so it's hurtful.

I don't even think it saveable now either - Oh what todo?

:confused::(:confused::(:confused::(:confused::(

COME ON MAN UP AND GET SERIONS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
By the looks of things it looks like you are not a serions man.

Give your wife a stern look, then slap her into line. That should fix it.
 
Jay

that does not help what so ever....

they have just had a baby, and she is mostly probly very sensitive about herself and confidence.

it's about support not going in there full guns blazing.
 
COME ON MAN UP AND GET SERIONS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
By the looks of things it looks like you are not a serions man.

Give your wife a stern look, then slap her into line. That should fix it.

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