'Gay' as a derogatory term, acceptable or not?

[unknowndomain]

But Jews are called Jews because they're JEW-ish.

I mean the use in the context of "stop being such a jew" to someone because they are behaving silly.

Lighten up it's X-Mas Eve-Eve

I enjoy christmas as much as the next but I am not going to lighten up about social segregation and insulting groups of people because they are different from the perceived normal, what ever that is.

 

[unknowndomain]

Even calling someone a faggot in context doesn't even have to mean homosexual, it can mean idiot / ****head and in that context I use it sometimes. Not because they're actually gay.

That is exactly what it means, you are saying this person is a faggot because, faggots are stupid. This is why it is so insulting to these people and why no one should be using these phrases.

 

[Abraham]

I personally wouldn't use faggot (other than food related) and think it is a directly offensive term, it has no innocent connotations (when referring to an individual).

I use gay to describe gay people, and will use it to the same affect of "pansy" or similar, i.e. not just a random derogatory term, but if someone has done something particularly demasculating or camp. I don't think any of the gay people I know would be offended by that use of it.

I don't think you should not use a particular word purely because people may be offended by it, but I equally don't think you should go out of your way to offend someone, and you're a bit of a dick if you do.

 

[Tombo]

That is exactly what it means, you are saying this person is a faggot because, faggots are stupid. This is why it is so insulting to these people and why no one should be using these phrases.

No I'm not saying they're a faggot because gay people are stupid, don't presume you know the reasons for the way I speak to people.

I personally wouldn't use faggot (other than food related) and think it is a directly offensive term, it has no innocent connotations (when referring to an individual).

Say my friend tells me he likes twilight and my response is "lol faggot" even though I don't have any kind of contempt for him or gay people. Am I wrong?

 

[Abraham]

I mean the use in the context of "stop being such a jew" to someone because they are behaving silly.

being silly?
the only time I've heard anyone called a jew (when they're not) is either because they look like one, or because they're being tight with money. Neither of which are particularly inoffensive, but the biggest perpetrators seem to be jewish people anyway (in making jokes about their appearance and tightness with money)

 

[OpenToSuggestions]

I fail to see how any Father would not feel disappointment and shame if his Son comes home one day with a special friend named Julian.

 

[Dave M]

What do you mean?

Nothing sinister

But it appears a group, be it state or special interest, decides something is unacceptable and proceeds to make decent people guilty about it. This then builds a groundswell of support for the concept which forces to not so decent people to keep it buttoned for fear of being ostracised.

The thing is there is no control over what is unacceptable, anything could be and eventually everything will be. I really do believe most people will believe anything if they're told it's right enough times (and no I'm not going to godwin it ).

Want to rip on your friend for pulling fat and / or ugly birds - sorry, not socially acceptable any more. Want to take the pee out of someone's obsession with Warhammer models - sorry, not acceptable.

It'll end up with nothing being 'fair game' and it'll be a pretty grey and humourless world.

 

[fadetoblack]

I think it's completely acceptable to describe some THING as gay. If people who bum each other don't like it, then they should find or invent a completely new word instead of hijacking an existing one.

Yer gay boys invent a new word

 

[Raikiri]

I fail to see how any Father would not feel disappointment and shame if his Son comes home one day with a special friend named Julian.

I wouldn't care, not everyone is a homophobe.

 

[Abraham]

No I'm not saying they're a faggot because gay people are stupid, don't presume you know the reasons for the way I speak to people.

That is the implication though.
It's all good and well trying to take a word for your own meaning of it, but the prior meanings of it will be the most commonly understood.

In this instance faggot is a long established derogatory term for gay people, so for you to use it for any reason, is to imply that gay people exhibit what you're using it about (stupidity).

Unless you live in South Park then it's just not going to work.

 

[Abraham]

I fail to see how any Father would not feel disappointment and shame if his Son comes home one day with a special friend named Julian.

Why would you? The only problem you could have with it is your own or other peoples perception of it. Which surely your sons happiness would be above?
Why would you be ashamed? What's wrong with being gay?

 

[Wolfe777]

You shouldn't use those terms in an offensive way, just fine.

Just as long as we're all in agreement that gay couples, especially men, should be absolutely forbidden from adopting children, but by all accounts they can, which to me is far far more serious problem than a few limp wristed blokes or butch women getting offended by words.


.

 

[Tombo]

I fail to see how any Father would not feel disappointment and shame if his Son comes home one day with a special friend named Julian.

I'd understand being shocked if he didn't know, even disappointed for a very short time if he was thinking about future children but not shame, I'd go as far as to say if you're ashamed of having a gay son you are a bad parent.

That is the implication though.
It's all good and well trying to take a word for your own meaning of it, but the prior meanings of it will be the most commonly understood.

If I'm ever using it, it's to someone I know online who is fine with that kind of humour or being a nob (usually they have similar senses of humour anyway) I wouldn't for example call a friend a faggot if I knew it offended them, just like I wouldn't call a gay person a faggot for being gay.

I don't have many gay friends though so my view might change if I knew more personally.

 

[Jay794]

I fail to see how any Father would not feel disappointment and shame if his Son comes home one day with a special friend named Julian.

+1 no grandkids for you

I mean the use in the context of "stop being such a jew" to someone because they are behaving silly.

I've never ever heard that said before, seems kinda stupid unless the guy is jewish

Why would you? The only problem you could have with it is your own or other peoples perception of it. Which surely your sons happiness would be above?
Why would you be ashamed? What's wrong with being gay?

It's not a case of something being wrong with it, I think it's more of a case that parents want grandkids

 

[Abraham]

It'll end up with nothing being 'fair game' and it'll be a pretty grey and humourless world.

Generally my opinion and I think common sense, would be that if you'd say it to your mates usually in jest then there's nothing wrong with anything really. But if you're saying it to bully someone, to intentionally hurt their feelings or to be derogatory to them, then it's not socially acceptable.
That's obviously on an individual level, when it comes to talking about a group of people it becomes much harder to draw a line, which groups can you be critical of? which can you generalise? which can take things with good humour and which can't? should that make a difference?

 

[Abraham]

You shouldn't use those terms in an offensive way, just fine.

Just as long as we're all in agreement that gay couples, especially men, should be absolutely forbidden from adopting children, but by all accounts they can, which to me is far far more serious problem than a few limp wristed blokes or butch women getting offended by words.

Why an earth would you think that?

 

[Abraham]

It's not a case of something being wrong with it, I think it's more of a case that parents want grandkids

1) I'd hope parents left that decision up to their children in any case
2) Gay men still have functioning sexual organs and equal rights to adoption.

 

[unknowndomain]

No I'm not saying they're a faggot because gay people are stupid, don't presume you know the reasons for the way I speak to people.

Say my friend tells me he likes twilight and my response is "lol faggot" even though I don't have any kind of contempt for him or gay people. Am I wrong?

I realise that most people don't actually mean what they are saying but none the less the implication of saying someone is gay, a jew, etc... for doing something stupid is that the gay, jew etc... is stupid and thats why your calling them that.

being silly?
the only time I've heard anyone called a jew (when they're not) is either because they look like one, or because they're being tight with money. Neither of which are particularly inoffensive, but the biggest perpetrators seem to be jewish people anyway (in making jokes about their appearance and tightness with money)

True, but people also say things like, 'your such a jew' in the context of calling them stupid because the use of the phrase like 'gay' has gotten out of hand and people say it all the time not realising they are actually saying something offensive.

It isn't that everyone is homophobic, it is because most people say it because it sounds cool or they like it but don't realise that it was / is intended as a slanderous term against that group of people.

Anyways as someone else pointed out earlier in the thread, there is a widespread use of terms which aren't really acceptable on this forum without any consideration over who they might upset, and no one is moderating them because it is generally acceptable to be derogatory to certain groups, when in fact it is not acceptable to be derogatory to any group.

I am dipping out of these because I have said what I think and we won't all agree.

 

[Jay794]

Why an earth would you think that?

You have 2 dads and no mum, therefore you're different, we don't like you and we're going to beat you up and steal you're lunch money because you're different.

1) I'd hope parents left that decision up to their children in any case
2) Gay men still have functioning sexual organs and equal rights to adoption.

Refer to above statement

 

[Tombo]

I realise that most people don't actually mean what they are saying but none the less the implication of saying someone is gay, a jew, etc... for doing something stupid is that the gay, jew etc... is stupid and thats why your calling them that..

Technically maybe, in reality I've grown up with it being another word for stupid so I'm not subconsciously thinking gay people are stupid or anything.

You have 2 dads and no mum, therefore you're different, we don't like you and we're going to beat you up and steal you're lunch money because you're different

That's something that schools should be responsible for, not a reason why gays can't adopt.