Telling a friend you dont want to live with them

Soldato
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6 May 2009
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At the moment 3 of us live together, we have lived in the same house for 3 years now and feel its time to move out and into somewhere better

I had the idea of buying a place but its going to be too expensive, plus I wouldnt want to rent to a friend

One of the guys we live with ive known for 10 years and is a good friend. Both of them have know each other all their lives. Living with him is sometimes a chore though. Things like him kicking the front door off, breaking things, not cleaning up after himself etc

Me and the other guy have both said we dont want to live with him next year but he doesnt know.

What is a good way to tell him, other than "We don't want to live with you next year" As I feel he wouldnt be too happy, plus he would have to find someone else to live with

Has anyone been in this situation before and how did you go about it?
 
have you talked about the mentioned issues, given him chance to sort himself out?

if you have just tell him straight

Not exactly sat down and all spoke about it, but when he booted the door in we said what are you doing, we cant live with someone who constantly breaks stuff when drunk

Or when he broke my mirror in my room, half swept it up and left the rest on my floor!
 
I don't think you have to phrase it in such a negative fashion, rather than saying "we don't want to live with you next year", just tell him that you are moving into another property with only two spaces available (obviously you will want to find this first!). Obviously he may be miffed that you've made plans without him but such is life.

Then again with next year being at least 12 months away and you having made the decision already, a lot could change in that time and I'm guessing you probably won't be looking for new properties for a while.
 
Just tell him to get his act together, if he doesn't then you have a reason to kick him out, gotta give him a chance to change first. But if he doesn't then you have done all you can and you will be better off because he isn't living with you and he might or might not be better off with the next person depending on how strict they are on him and so on until he grows up or ends up a bum forever.

Few warnings getting angrier every time then get rid most likely. it's easy to be over nice to an old friend. sometimes people need to live with randomers before they sort it out.
 
Messy people stay messy, tbh. And breaking stuff's just not cool, even if he pays for the damage.

Just be blunt, it's harsh, but it needs to be done. Don't leave it to the last minute, either, so he's got a chance to find somewhere to live!

This.
 
Messy people stay messy, tbh. And breaking stuff's just not cool, even if he pays for the damage.

Just be blunt, it's harsh, but it needs to be done. Don't leave it to the last minute, either, so he's got a chance to find somewhere to live!
 
Tell him you and the other guy got very drunk on new years eve. One thing led to another and you realise now that you have feelings for each other. Tell him that you two need privacy to be together as a couple so unfortunately he will have to move out.

Or just be honest and tell he is messy, causes damage, and say while you still want to remain friends you just don't want to live with him.
 
Just be blunt, it's harsh, but it needs to be done. Don't leave it to the last minute, either, so he's got a chance to find somewhere to live!
I'd just add that you should have (or claim to have) the new lease already signed when you tell him to minimise any pleading or promises to change his ways. He isn't going to change.

And don't have any of your valuables in the room when you tell him!
 
Tbh you're his mate, you owe it to him to tell him he's not an attractive house mate. Giving him longer notice as well may help him turn his attitude around.

Tell him you're thinking of buying somewhere and if he wants to continue living with you he needs to get his head in order. I would Prolly give him a second chance though as sometimes people just need a kick to sort them out. Tell him any nonsense and he's out.
 
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