By that point, we just needed to get out there. It felt like any and all dignity had been stripped from my fathers passing, an already horrible heartbreaking situation had been made twice as bad, had been dragged out... I still get angry and sad when I think about it, my mother still cannot and will not talk about to this day. Could I put my family through that? Never.
I really don't mean to be insensitive but, theres a few points I think need making.
Yes the doctors should have been waiting somewhere else, but ultimately its a hospital, had your father not been donating organs, most of what you described would still have happened. Someone turning off life support, the trauma of waiting for a loved one to die and having to put up with this being done in a fairly public location of a hospital. 1000's of people die in similar circumstances a year and there will be people in earshot laughing, screaming crying, other people dying, kids being born, etc.
In the end the liver did get donated and possibly gave other peoples years, maybe decades extra in their life, think about if that would have made your dad happy or not.
You mum can't talk about it... would she have been easily able to talk about your fathers death had the doctors not been there or had he not ended up donating a liver. Likely not, her husband died, its a horrible event for anyone and ultimately most of the other things didn't help but aren't a patch on the main source of pain being your father dying.
Lastly, organ donation will never be an exact science, no one will know how long someone would last when taken off life support, no one will know if the organs would have a problem found during removal, or be rejected by the person who gets them.
As bad a situation as you went through, losing your father, or husband, or child will never be easy and in 10 years, or 50 years, the only thing you'll care about is that person not being there, not the smaller details that ultimately didn't make a difference.
Lots of transplants will go better, lots will go worse, lots won't "take" in the person that gets them and hopefully lots will help millions of people worldwide live decades longer.
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