awareness of all suffering around us and compassion for those people

[garyfl]

really wanted to make this thread to get it off my chest.
its not a joke or anything im being completely serious, this can only either make me look like a weakling or a very nice caring person.

i really wanted to share this with you and see if anyone could relate or maybe even share the same feelings and thoughts.
lately ive never been so aware of the suffering around, ill try to explain best i can.

I used to see things on the news and turn a blind eye, i felt for them, but, it wasnt my problem.

my dad got ill with termincal cancer in august 09 and it completely ripped a hole in me, everything around me became so apparent, he got steadily worse and you get this feeling where you feel completely helpless, watching them slip away, the fear in their eyes. for the contrary hes still alive, he was given 3 months, but, with a trial, hes still here, it started to all shhrink, but sadly lately its spread to his liver and bones, hes started getting panic attacks mentioning how he dosent want to die and it hurts very much to hear this.

you see all these wars going on and >> people being killed, their families,the pain it leaves behind <<< now this is what people read, they feel a little bad, but after reading this sentence, they forget and it all goes away.

i just cant shake none of it off, its a sense of helpless ness that this world is going to complete pot and is full of suffering, wars, money, even those earthquakes in new zealand, there was a program on bbc, about how it affected the families, and it just made me think of my gf and how i love her so much and i never want this to happen to her. people treat and talk to each other like complete crap, no respect, bullying, people miserable with the way they are treated in life, greed, narcissism, i see it absolutely everywhere! all around me

i dont know why i wrote this or specifically why i came to GD but maybe just maybe someone understands me and feels the same towards general life, that its full of suffering and the way it makes you feel is completely miserable as opposed to people who can easily forget about it.

ive been here a while and i know theres people on here who have gone through some pretty bad times,i wonder if they feel the same.

 

[Narj]

Hrm, not quite the same but as I've got older, I've come to appreciate things such as natural beauty a lot more and am acutely aware of how much we take for granted.

Anyways... From what you're saying, it might be worth talking to a counsellor in all honesty.

 

[Pestilence]

That's life; welcome to Earth.

There's truly nothing you can do about it. People have always, and will always, act like complete ****s. End of.

All you can do is try to make your own field of existence, and that of the people you interact with during your life, that little bit better than the fetid quagmire that humanity really is.

Mind you, I'm a complete misanthrope so my apathy may be quite exaggerated. The world can burn for all I care.

 

[edscdk]

i just cant shake none of it off, its a sense of helpless ness that this world is going to complete pot and is full of suffering, wars, money, even those earthquakes in new zealand, there was a program on bbc, about how it affected the families, and it just made me think of my gf and how i love her so much and i never want this to happen to her. people treat and talk to each other like complete crap, no respect, bullying, people miserable with the way they are treated in life, greed, narcissism, i see it absolutely everywhere! all around me

World going to pot?

you are jsut focusing on the negatives.... lots of Joy.. babies born, people falling in love, people doing happy stuff...

war can even be positive... creates jobs reduces population - not good for the dead and their famalies but good for those who needs jobs making arms / rebuilding...

News only focus' on bad stuff... who cares if Bob from bristol is happy today.. people will only be interested in Bob when "Bob from Bristol was brutally murdered"

 

[Edrof]

I've been wrestling with a similar thing for years. I'm an idealistic sort of fellow and I dream about how amazing our planet would be if everyone ditched the selfish, power and money hungry, jealous attitudes that most of our race holds dear. But they won't, because they are ****s. It really is as simple as that. I think this has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous, but I do try to remember it:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

 

[elmarko]

If you view reality for what it is, without the benefit of positive bias it's pretty grim at times.

Two main things I believe are the cause of this, a lack of basic human empathy & a lack of understanding/poor education.

Education & information is incredibly vital to make a sound empathic judgement.

I'll use an example,

Imagine in Africa a child is "possessed" - according to these people the "moral & just action" would be to kill them to save there eternal soul.

If you add education into the mix, they would understand the child is not actually possessed but suffers from a series of mental disorders & actually requires care.

It's amazing how a little knowledge can change a person behaviour from one of harming to caring - the actual "empathy" hasn't change, just in the first case the people were acting on a flawed view of the world.

Just look at how different we treat the mentally ill (overall) compared to even 100 years ago.

I genuinely believe we need to readdress our education system, as we focus so heavily of academic intelligence but spend so little time on personal development - children should leave school understanding motivation methods, how to deal with money, emotional stress, anger & rejection.

 

[jas72]

really wanted to make this thread to get it off my chest.
its not a joke or anything im being completely serious, this can only either make me look like a weakling or a very nice caring person.

i really wanted to share this with you and see if anyone could relate or maybe even share the same feelings and thoughts.
lately ive never been so aware of the suffering around, ill try to explain best i can.

Gary I would recommend you talk to your GP and try to get some counselling. It really is worth it. It is very hard to take bad news I too have had a very difficult year (still ongoing) but taking to experts does help.

 

[jas72]

If you view reality for what it is, without the benefit of positive bias it's pretty grim at times.



I genuinely believe we need to readdress our education system, as we focus so heavily of academic intelligence but spend so little time on personal development - children should leave school understanding motivation methods, how to deal with money, emotional stress, anger & rejection.

This is really true the school experience is traumatic for those not at 100% levels of fitness and there is little help for them. I cringe when I think of the bullying of the weak I witnessed at school for anything and quite often very very small things which could have been solved.

 

[radderfire]

Life can get really tough sometimes, and what the bad times give you is a sense of how bad things can be and therefore some perspective in life.

My advice would be not to dwell for too long on the world's problems, as this can really get you down. Think about it for a short while, and then say to yourself you are going to give yourself a mental break from it, don't allow yourself to dwell on things and just lead as productive a life as you can.

Rgds

 

[Maximum Triceratops]

As soon as you have kids it gets worse imo, I live in fear contracting some terminal illness and not being able to look after them and see them grow up, then I tell myself that I am fit and healthy and to worry about things like that if/when it happens.

 

[mrbios]

I find I'm on a different end of the scale, but that said i do completely avoid the news and all its negativity. If i read the news it's the headlines only and i only really pay attention to the technology/science etc sections.

Personally hate how everything has to be someone elses problem, yes there are wars and yes people die all over the world, what can i do about it? Nothing. So i don't concern myself with such things.

 

[Jonny69]

People in this country don't give a damn about anything you've posted Gary, that is why we exploit the rest of the world.

 

[Hatter The Mad]

If I cared about anything of that stuff I'd never be able to buy my iPads etc

 

[LOAM]

I have more empathy towards animals than humans really. Obviously individual cases bother me and its a bit of a sweeping statement that doesn't apply to all but for the most part I consider humans as a whole to be a non caring and cruel species. I hate the entitled society that we currently live in and the overall lack of respect for our fellow neighbour and community makes me sick.

 

[elmarko]

I have more empathy towards animals than humans really. Obviously individual cases bother me and its a bit of a sweeping statement that doesn't apply to all but for the most part I consider humans as a whole to be a non caring and cruel species. I hate the entitled society that we currently live in and the overall lack of respect for our fellow neighbour and community makes me sick.

I'd say it's because we don't blame animals for the suffering they endure.

We do blame people for things which objectively are not there fault.

 

[jumpy]

really wanted to make this thread to get it off my chest.
its not a joke or anything im being completely serious, this can only either make me look like a weakling or a very nice caring person.

i really wanted to share this with you and see if anyone could relate or maybe even share the same feelings and thoughts.
lately ive never been so aware of the suffering around, ill try to explain best i can.

I used to see things on the news and turn a blind eye, i felt for them, but, it wasnt my problem.

my dad got ill with termincal cancer in august 09 and it completely ripped a hole in me, everything around me became so apparent, he got steadily worse and you get this feeling where you feel completely helpless, watching them slip away, the fear in their eyes. for the contrary hes still alive, he was given 3 months, but, with a trial, hes still here, it started to all shhrink, but sadly lately its spread to his liver and bones, hes started getting panic attacks mentioning how he dosent want to die and it hurts very much to hear this.

you see all these wars going on and >> people being killed, their families,the pain it leaves behind <<< now this is what people read, they feel a little bad, but after reading this sentence, they forget and it all goes away.

i just cant shake none of it off, its a sense of helpless ness that this world is going to complete pot and is full of suffering, wars, money, even those earthquakes in new zealand, there was a program on bbc, about how it affected the families, and it just made me think of my gf and how i love her so much and i never want this to happen to her. people treat and talk to each other like complete crap, no respect, bullying, people miserable with the way they are treated in life, greed, narcissism, i see it absolutely everywhere! all around me

i dont know why i wrote this or specifically why i came to GD but maybe just maybe someone understands me and feels the same towards general life, that its full of suffering and the way it makes you feel is completely miserable as opposed to people who can easily forget about it.

ive been here a while and i know theres people on here who have gone through some pretty bad times,i wonder if they feel the same.

This is why most people take solace in their friends and family (and passions or interests to be fair also) to the extent that they are able to tune out the rest of the world and many of the terrible things that happen in it - this is a perfectly normal thing to do.
Currently, part of that solace for your life is under dire threat with your dad having x months to live. It is only to be expected that you are having more intense feelings of empathy toward some of the things you see around you that you cannot change or influence. There is a parallel with your personal and your greater view of the world and your place in it.

Don't sweat it. If, however, you think it's getting you down to the extent that your everyday life is being seriously and detrimentally effected by it, then go and have a chat with your GP, explain about your dad, and your thoughts and feelings about it and how you think it is spilling out into a wider awareness which, while not unusual, is hurting your well-being, then the two of you can decide what might be best to help you. Failing that, have you discussed this with any of your family, GF? It might help to talk to them about it too, for them and you.

I don't think what you are experiencing is anything out of the ordinary, given your circumstances. I'd even go as far as to say, your thoughts are entirely typical of someone in your position, experiencing that level of stress so close to home.

Many people deal with stress and emotional pain in much a similar way; examples being relationship breakdowns, redundancy, illness, long term unemployment are just a few of the many issues that cause people to look on the dark side of life.

What you need is a little perspective on the wide picture. In many ways there is very little point beating yourself up over things that are so much bigger than you can ever hope to be able to deal with - war, famine, disease, greed, suffering etc etc.

For me, the breakup of a long-term relationship significantly changed the way I looked at everything around me, even to the extent of altering my thought programs directly changing my reactions to events and people.
Key to understand for most people, subtle personality change imposed by such events is not unalterable; all of us have the ability to reshape the way we think and, to a lesser extent, the way we feel about things. But this takes time and some effort of exercising your will to change as you want to. Perhaps the most difficult thing is to recognise you want to change something about yourself... actually doing it is just a case of dedication over the long term (I say that like it's easy - it is not, but compared to coming to the understanding that you think there's a problem, something you wish to change, it is like comparing molehills to mountains).

Now that all sounds a bit esoteric, lol but it is one of the reasons I try and eat well and exercise regularly as part of a discipline structure that imparts some self imposed level of rigidity to my life. That and doing other things I enjoy and that make me feel good about my little bit of the world.
People are such small individuals with tiny spheres of influence - do what you can, if you feel you must, but leave the problems of a whole damn species to the gods, if you believe in them.

Now, you're only a young fella; time will inure you to much of life's unfairness. That's just a part of getting old. Don't be swamped by the big stuff, narrow your focus a little and you'll do just fine.

Important thing though - don't keep it all to yourself.
If it's really getting you down, talk to your friends and family about it, or go talk to your GP. Hell, even ruminating your thoughts on a forum like this is part of that.

You seem to be doing it right so far...

 

[garyfl]

thanks jumpy i really appreciated that.
my dad was rushed into hospital tonight but im strong for the family, im the wall in the family anyway, i guess its why i feel like i do, i take on everyone elses problems.
thank you for taking the time to write all that out, it really put things into perspective, i do talk to my gf a lot and shes there for me, but like i said im the wall of the family, im there for her as well. shes got some toughies too.

 

[MissileMoose]

thanks jumpy i really appreciated that.
my dad was rushed into hospital tonight but im strong for the family, im the wall in the family anyway, i guess its why i feel like i do, i take on everyone elses problems.
thank you for taking the time to write all that out, it really put things into perspective, i do talk to my gf a lot and shes there for me, but like i said im the wall of the family, im there for her as well. shes got some toughies too.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[jp_bl_68]

This is why I rarely watch the news these days. It's all doom and gloom. It's just so hopeless and depressing, I'd rather not think about it.

 

[jumpy]

thanks jumpy i really appreciated that.
my dad was rushed into hospital tonight but im strong for the family, im the wall in the family anyway, i guess its why i feel like i do, i take on everyone elses problems.
thank you for taking the time to write all that out, it really put things into perspective, i do talk to my gf a lot and shes there for me, but like i said im the wall of the family, im there for her as well. shes got some toughies too.

No problem.
We do the best with what we have. Hindsight might be all there, but it's useless to judge the past decisions with it, especially if you are self critical. So don't feel you have to be strong for everyone all of the time; it's an admirable quality to have for those you care about, but your family wouldn't want you to shoulder more than you can bear.
But for all of that, chin up fella.