Chav started on me - lulz were had.

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Didn't think it was fair that people miss out on this excellent story

exhashdotdot said:
Pretty funny. I'll have to filter out the bad language

Me and my friend are walking to Sainsburys, and just before the carpark there are a bunch of guys hanging around and one of them shouts:

"oi, fancy a bum?"

and I replied with "**** no!" - they all laughed and we went along. Not the wittiest thing I've ever replied but whatever.

After sainsburys we go to get some food at McDonalds and they're all outside smoking. The guy again goes "fancy a bum mate?" and I reply with

"I used to **** guys like you in prison"

All his friends started laughing and going "oooooohhhhh" and he says "Are you serious? You've been to prison?" and I reply with

"yep, ****ed guys just like you"

he replies with "you want to start a fight or something?".

I walk to and say "i'm really, really not scared of you", smile, and walk in.

After eating, me and my friend walk outside and he chases afterwards to the door and shouts "mate, did you ****ing kick my 'ped?"

I look at the moped, not having noticed it the first time and say "no".

"you want to fight?"

and I say "look, I promise you, fighting me will be the biggest mistake you make this evening."

"are you a black belt or sommat?"

(his friends have come out at this point)

"how old are you?"

"18"

"Still in school?"

his friend says: "We're 18, 'course not"

the main guy then says:

"Give me your number if you want a bum"

"Alright, I'll take your number"

I walk up to him and he's like "why do you want my number?"

"I'm going to get hold of your mum at some point"

him: "my mum's dead"

"you're joking right?"

"she's dead"

The bum guy then walks off in a strop inside,

To his remaining friend who's outside I say "It's a ****** situation i guess, what a shame"

and then me and my friend left.

TL;DR
Alpha'd some chav.


It's not the coolest thing I've ever done, but I wasn't going to get into a scrap with an 18 year old. I wasn't exactly going to take that cheek either though.
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It's good that the internet has progressed to the point where "lulz" can be associated with everything/everyone that isn't funny or interesting. ;)
 
Well done for understanding and communicating in Chav speak. It like took me a while to understand your post. Innit?
 
cheets64 said:
nope
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Right, I say, you are one frivolously cheeky **** mate, I daresay I would handily best you in a fisticuffs, I promise on the Queen Mother's life. And I am certain you are frightened, you trifling swine, imploring your comrades to ring me up on the telly, declaring that we shant engage in bare-knuckled combat, because you are an imposing mongrel of renowned size. It is hard to contain my audible laughter. I do say, mate, it is deplorable, indeed, truly calamitous, and it ably demonstrates what an anxious, miniature lad of questionable masculinity you are. And what is this bullocks your chums are sending me, about a website dedicated to the betterment of male muscular fitness? Good lord, sir, is this your choice arena to let your eyes linger upon those of the male gender? You insignificant, petty homosexual, ring me if you possess testicular fortitude, you abominable fiend, and see if you can rise to the occasion, nancy-boy.
 
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