Do you go to church if you dont believe in God?

I only go with my other half when its something Important, I.e her cousins christening. But she knows I hate going and so she doesn't ask me to go.
 
Go along a few times and see how you find it, different churches have very different feels. You never know you might even enjoy it there is an awful lot more to the church than the religious side of things, the community, friendship and support is something that is sadly lacking from a lot of our modern society. It's nice to be able to keep an eye out for people and help them out even if it's just having a chat with a lonley old man over a cup of coffee on a Sunday morning.

She certianly shouldn't expect you to go every week (or more!) but I don't think every now and then doing something that your not a massive fan of to be nice to your girlfriend is a big deal. Think how many football matches (or similar) you will expect her to sit through on TV and you've got some idea of what we are talking about.
 
I had the same problem a few years ago, My gf wanted me to go to church, I didn't really want to but I went once to support her.

I thought different elements of it was quite inspiring, I am not a religious man myself. This wasn't your classic everyone sit down and be quiet church, It was huge and had a live band and stuff, I think it was aimed more at teens but i enjoyed it. In the 4 years i was with my gf i went about 3 times.
 
Pestilence said:
I can't take part, as I don't believe in any of the words that would be coming out of my mouth and I personally find it disrespectful to those who do genuinely believe in it. Another factor in it is much the same as the reason that I don't get on particularly well with young children; I can't engage with them in childish play as it's just not anything like normal adult behaviour. It feels like I'm betraying myself in some way, and I start to get extremely anxious, self-aware and tetchy. Just not comfortable in any way. :(
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That makes it sound like the problem rests entirely with you.

I usually only go for Christmas hymns services to support my great great Uncle (my Nan's uncle!). It's pretty good fun and full of lols, I particuarly enjoyed the quote/ intentional misquote of something like:

"At the start, there was a word. That word was god. And then god made that word. And. That word was god"

Me and Dad pretty much burst out laughing, I know it's an extension of something from the bible but it really tickled me :D
 
spudbynight said:
So would you refuse to go to a church wedding?

I went to my first Jewish wedding a few years ago. I had never been to one before. For me I was going out of respect for my friends who were getting married. I knew nothing about what to expect so I did some research in advance. Again, this was out of respect for my friends.

I can't see any reason for you to go to any sort of religious ceremony on your own but going to show respect doesn't strike me as too much of a sacrifice.

Showing respect for the beliefs of others is needed for us to exist in a civilised society.

If you had a couple of vegan friends around for dinner you wouldn't serve them steak. You would serve them a mushroom risotto or something like that. In doing this you in no way undermine your own beliefs as a meat eater you simply show respect for your friends.
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If I'm invited, I'll always show respect and attend. It would just be rude to outright refuse, really.

In my case, however, attendance extends only as far as exactly that... attend. As in, I stand there among the pews, like a plank, and feel like a plum. Actually taking part in any religious pieces of ceremony is out of the question and I personally can't help but think that that's actually worse than just not showing up in the first place. That opinion is probably just part of the anxiety over it, however, as nobody who's ever had me at a wedding or anything has approached me about not fully taking part.
 
Nitefly said:
That makes it sound like the problem rests entirely with you.

I usually only go for Christmas hymns services to support my great great Uncle (my Nan's uncle!). It's pretty good fun and full of lols, I particuarly enjoyed the quote/ intentional misquote of something like:

"At the start, there was a word. That word was god. And then god made that word. And. That word was god"

Me and Dad pretty much burst out laughing, I know it's an extension of something from the bible but it really tickled me :D
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I went to a church service at Christmas a few years ago. My Mum and I had been drinking in the pub most of the evening, and were quite merry. We decided to go to the local church for the service. I ended up having the Priest/Minister/Rev/whatever's wife sitting next to me. Obviously, after a fair few pints my seal was well and truly broken so I had to go to the toilet. I asked the wife where the toilet was and was told it was behind the altar to the back. Off I went. Did my business, and then came back...

...

I entered back into the church, from behind the altar whilst everyone was head down, and hands clasped deep in prayer.

I felt like the bloody messiah. My mum, and a few others that had clearly also been to the pub, burst out laughing.
 
Pestilence said:
I'm an atheist and would rather not be invited to religious ceremonies by anyone, really. As Craig mentions, I end up standing there silently throughout the whole affair feeling like a bit of a plum.

I can't take part, as I don't believe in any of the words that would be coming out of my mouth and I personally find it disrespectful to those who do genuinely believe in it. Another factor in it is much the same as the reason that I don't get on particularly well with young children; I can't engage with them in childish play as it's just not anything like normal adult behaviour. It feels like I'm betraying myself in some way, and I start to get extremely anxious, self-aware and tetchy. Just not comfortable in any way. :(
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I used to feel like that, but now if I am attending a funeral (as I did recently for our lass's nan) I will sing the hymns chosen, I will say the prayers.

I didn't know her, but those were the hymns she wanted sung at her funeral. I don't feel that I am letting myself down in any way.
 
Ahleckz said:
I went to a church service at Christmas a few years ago. My Mum and I had been drinking in the pub most of the evening, and were quite merry. We decided to go to the local church for the service. I ended up having the Priest/Minister/Rev/whatever's wife sitting next to me. Obviously, after a fair few pints my seal was well and truly broken so I had to go to the toilet. I asked the wife where the toilet was and was told it was behind the altar to the back. Off I went. Did my business, and then came back...

...

I entered back into the church, from behind the altar whilst everyone was head down, and hands clasped deep in prayer.

I felt like the bloody messiah. My mum, and a few others that had clearly also been to the pub, burst out laughing.
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Haha, that's great :D

I have my own amusing story relating to my visits. There was a band that was playing along with the songs throughout one year and at the end when the vicar said "now let us all prey to god in order to shelter us from the darkness and show us to the light", about 10 seconds into the silence, there was the most deafening utterly demonic roar.

This was one of the loudest, scariest and most unpleasant sounds I have ever heard, everyone **** their pants and loads of people jumped out of their seats, I'm surprised nobody had a heart attack.

It turned out it was some PA feedback / static build up, but the thought of everyone praying to god only to hear the devil still makes me lol to this day :D
 
Tell her what you've told us and try it for a few weeks, then maybe a month later tell her it's not for you, at least you can say you gave it a try.

I know a few people who attend church but don't believe in god, people do it for all sorts of reasons.
 
She spends time with your friends, she's only asking that you spend some time in an environment where she feels happy. You'll also appreciate why she thinks about certain subjects the way she does. Although I appreciate her problem, relationships with non Christians start at a bit of a disadvantage.
If you do actually love her then I'd recommend sticking it out, but this seems like a pretty minor hurdle to be faltering at.
 
Gilly said:
You are missing something :)
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Hmm...Wiki covers it quite well.

Atheism is, in a broad sense, the rejection of belief in the existence of deities.[1] In a narrower sense, atheism is specifically the position that there are no deities.[2][3] Most inclusively, atheism is simply the absence of belief that any deities exist.[3][4] Atheism is contrasted with theism,[5][6] which in its most general form is the belief that at least one deity exists.[6][7]
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Atheism is the rejection of belief in the existence of God rather than any actual belief.
 
I think you shouldn't be forced to go if you're not that way inclined. By all means go out of respect from time to time, but you shouldnt' feel obliged to go. Give it a go for a couple of weeks and then explain to her how you feel?

However, I have attended many Muslim prayers in the past, and although being Christian have also taken part in Ramadan one year to get a feel of what they go through. Then again I don't think religion is a bad thing like a lot of people seem to and find it interesting. :)
 
Pestilence said:
I
In my case, however, attendance extends only as far as exactly that... attend. As in, I stand there among the pews, like a plank, and feel like a plum. Actually taking part in any religious pieces of ceremony is out of the question and I personally can't help but think that that's actually worse than just not showing up in the first place. That opinion is probably just part of the anxiety over it, however, as nobody who's ever had me at a wedding or anything has approached me about not fully taking part.
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There is no right or wrong in the Anglican church you don't have to sing you don't have to pray, you don't have to take communion the only thing you have to do to be an Anglican Christianis believe. Since you don't believe you can never be an Anglican Christian but you can attend church just as any other, plenty of people at my local church don't take communion, loads don't sing, loads don't attend more than once in a blue moon there is no need for anyone to feel awkward that is just you being self concious. The church extends far beyond the Sunday service which in reality is just a tiny part of the grater good that it does in our communities.

Nitefly said:
That's just a paraphrase of saying they believe that there are no gods.
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I read that differently there is clearly an important distinction in the wording.
 
Is she really serious about her faith (and by faith I don't mean church attendance with no belief)?

If the answer is yes, then you are probably on a hiding to nowhere TBH. Christianity (assuming she's Christian) could well eventually come between you one way or another, and it'll either be because you are doing sdomething you don't want, or she is compromising her faith to be with you (to some degree).

If she goes to purely keep up appearances, then why does she bother going at all? That doesn't get you into heaven according to the Bible so she's wasting her time and yours (if that is the case).
 
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