April Fool day pranks, what are you planning?

[FnG]magnolia;21459360 said:
She will take it seriously and even when you explain the hilarious intention she will never look at you the same way again. The man she loved, cared for and trusted? You are no longer that man. The relationship will struggle on for a few short weeks before she breaks up with you, saying that 'it doesn't feel right' or that 'it's not you, it's her'.

You sink into a deep depression and start missing days from work. Initially people are understanding but your escalating need for sympathy quickly alienates you from the few friends you have. Finally, your manager becomes tired of your inability to lift yourself from your malaise and you're let go.

You end up on a railway track. It's early morning and you've studied the timetable thoroughly. It should be on time today, it normally is. You lie down on the cold, dull tracks. You wait.
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Jesus Christ man...

Sounds like you need to get yourself: http://www.amazon.com/Microwave-One...0437/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331591935&sr=8-1*



*Protip: read the comments.
 
[FnG]magnolia;21459360 said:
She will take it seriously and even when you explain the hilarious intention she will never look at you the same way again. The man she loved, cared for and trusted? You are no longer that man. The relationship will struggle on for a few short weeks before she breaks up with you, saying that 'it doesn't feel right' or that 'it's not you, it's her'.
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the thing is, this is bang on. the rest of your post which i haven't quoted is disturbing.

oh and tell her you're pregnant, OP.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...egnant-man-expecting-baby-boy-next-month.html
 
I am going to slowly redirect all traffic on my brothers computer to lemon party ( DO NOT GOOGLE THIS AND NO THIS IS NOT AN ATTEMPT AT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY), it will first start with pron sites, it will then escalate to more common websites and eventually get to the point where any website redirects him.
 
She won't take it seriously, will get the hilarious intention and will look at you in a new found light. The man she loves, cares for and trusts? You are that man but even more so. The relationship will strengthen over the coming weeks and months before she proposes to you, saying that 'it feels right' and that 'it's you and her'.

You start to become a better you, taking your work more seriously. Initially colleagues are a little unsure but your escalating stature quickly gains you new friends. Finally, your manager becomes so impressed with your ability and drive that he has no choice but to promote you.

You end up at the railway station. It's early morning and you've studied the timetable thoroughly. It should be on time today, it normally is. You sit down on the cold, wet station bench. You wait for her to arrive. 'Paris, here we come,' you breathe.
 
[FnG]magnolia;21459465 said:
She won't take it seriously, will get the hilarious intention and will look at you in a new found light. The man she loves, cares for and trusts? You are that man but even more so. The relationship will strengthen over the coming weeks and months before she proposes to you, saying that 'it feels right' and that 'it's you and her'.

You start to become a better you, taking your work more seriously. Initially colleagues are a little unsure but your escalating stature quickly gains you new friends. Finally, your manager becomes so impressed with your ability and drive that he has no choice but to promote you.

You end up at the railway station. It's early morning and you've studied the timetable thoroughly. It should be on time today, it normally is. You sit down on the cold, wet station bench. You wait for her to arrive. 'Paris, here we come,' you breathe.
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Did you just take a full bottle of happy pills or smoke something?
 
I remember being at primary school, in Y6 I think, our teacher let me and 3 of my friends come inside early in the morning and we wound loads and loads of black thread around all the chair legs, table legs, etc, all across the room so that there was basically a spider web of thread all over the room. Because it was thin black thread, hardly anyone noticed when they first walked in, until they all started tripping over all the thread that was wound all over the room.

I'm a teacher myself now and can't believe he let us do it - it's a health and safety nightmare! We were falling all over the place!
 
Is it about time I added a disclaimer to my posts?

I take no responsibility for any damages caused by the actions others take upon reading my ridiculous ramblings.
 
[FnG]magnolia;21459465 said:
She won't take it seriously, will get the hilarious intention and will look at you in a new found light. The man she loves, cares for and trusts? You are that man but even more so. The relationship will strengthen over the coming weeks and months before she proposes to you, saying that 'it feels right' and that 'it's you and her'.

You start to become a better you, taking your work more seriously. Initially colleagues are a little unsure but your escalating stature quickly gains you new friends. Finally, your manager becomes so impressed with your ability and drive that he has no choice but to promote you.

You end up at the railway station. It's early morning and you've studied the timetable thoroughly. It should be on time today, it normally is. You sit down on the cold, wet station bench. You wait for her to arrive. 'Paris, here we come,' you breathe.
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I liked the first one and i don't find it any bit pessimistic at all.
 
Theophany said:
Jesus Christ man...

Sounds like you need to get yourself: http://www.amazon.com/Microwave-One...0437/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331591935&sr=8-1*



*Protip: read the comments.
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Hahahahaha

3.0 out of 5 stars Buy this book, or don't, I don't care anymore
It used to be that I got home from work and the only thing I'd want to put in my mouth was the cold barrel of my grandfather's shotgun. Then I discovered Sonia Allison's Chicken Tetrazzini, and now there are two things.
Published 14 months ago by
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How ever, my idea is equally ridiculous, I'm thinking of phoning my parents at 7am and telling them I'm I have been arrested, and to go into their attic in some cryptic way and take a bag down, I will tell them not to look inside the bag lest they implicate themselves but to hand it into the Police when they arrive.

Inside the bag I will simply leave a note saying "April fools"

I will then phone back 10 minutes later if they don't phone me back first and shout out April fools.
 
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