- Joined
- 3 May 2004
- Posts
- 17,718
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- Kapitalist Republik of Surrey
ALL ROAD USERS: BEWARE OF WOMEN IN CARS. HERE ARE SOME POINTERS TO SPOT THEM.
Scenario 1: You are waiting at traffic lights.
You are about 3 cars back in a queue at some traffic lights. The light goes green and the car at the front pulls off smoothly. There is a slight delay as the driver in front revs up to 5000rpm and struggles to release the handbrake that they have used all their strength to pull on. The car lurches forwards as they let the clutch in at a seemingly uncontrolled rate, you see them suddenly catch the first car, which hasn't pulled away as fast, and the brakes come on. You observe second gear get engaged, hear the revs soar...
Scenario 2: You are on a pushbike (1 of 2).
You hear a car approaching inappropriately fast for how close they are to you in a 30 zone. You hear the brakes come on and without looking backwards you can see the front of the car in the corner of your eye because it is that close to you. There is a lot of hesitation in overtaking and the car remains uncomfortably close. There is a failed attempt to overtake where the car gets a wing's length alongside before seeing oncoming traffic and hitting the brakes. At an inappropriate moment, the car overtakes fully, not moving over far enough for the manoeuvre and passing very slowly. The mirror almost touches the handlebars and the car starts to pull left before it has fully passed.
Scenario 3: You are in a carpark (1 of 2).
You are walking from your car to the supermarket. Near the end of the row of cars you are walking along you hear a bootlid slam nearly hard enough to smash the glass out of it. The engine starts. The revs soar to 4000rpm and the car creeps out the space. You see the steering wheel being fed up and down up and down, but not enough or fast enough to steer the car clear of the parking space. The revs drop. There is an awful grating sound and a crunch as reverse gear is selected and the revs head skyward. The car creeps backward until it just brushes the bumper of the car next to it, leaving some scuff marks on both cars. First gear, 5000rpm, feeding steering wheel, slight smell of burning clutch, the car pulls away.
Scenario 4: You are on a pushbike (2 of 2).
You are cycling towards a traffic island. It's a 30 zone. These are a series of traffic islands that serve as crossing points for pedestrians, deliberate pinch points and to stop overtaking on that stretch of road. As you reach the island, the car, which has now arrived without slowing down realises that because this is a pinch point there is not enough space for a car and a cyclist to go through side by side. The car slams on the brakes and comes to a complete stop in the middle of the road with the traffic island in front of it. As the cyclist, you heard all this happen and look back at the driver, confirm it is a woman and notice a second car which has tried to pass the first car on the left because the driver has blindly driven into the situation without looking what is going on. Also a woman driver.
Scenario 5: You are in a carpark (2 of 2).
You are nearing the end of the row of cars you were walking along towards the supermarket. From behind you can hear a car going way too fast for in a carpark and it sounds its horn for an unnecessarily long time to alert you, which makes you jump. You turn and see the driver of the car that was struggling to pull out the space earlier, now wearing large sunglasses and muttering to herself.
Scenario 6: You are in a garage.
There is a woman complaining about the failed clutch in her car and can't believe it has only lasted 15,000 miles. She is complaining that they should last longer than that and wants it replaced on warranty. The car has scrapes on each corner, missing its wheel trims, two tyres that are too low and a 'little princess on board' sign hanging in the back. You see the look on the mechanic's face.
Please add your own...
Scenario 1: You are waiting at traffic lights.
You are about 3 cars back in a queue at some traffic lights. The light goes green and the car at the front pulls off smoothly. There is a slight delay as the driver in front revs up to 5000rpm and struggles to release the handbrake that they have used all their strength to pull on. The car lurches forwards as they let the clutch in at a seemingly uncontrolled rate, you see them suddenly catch the first car, which hasn't pulled away as fast, and the brakes come on. You observe second gear get engaged, hear the revs soar...
Scenario 2: You are on a pushbike (1 of 2).
You hear a car approaching inappropriately fast for how close they are to you in a 30 zone. You hear the brakes come on and without looking backwards you can see the front of the car in the corner of your eye because it is that close to you. There is a lot of hesitation in overtaking and the car remains uncomfortably close. There is a failed attempt to overtake where the car gets a wing's length alongside before seeing oncoming traffic and hitting the brakes. At an inappropriate moment, the car overtakes fully, not moving over far enough for the manoeuvre and passing very slowly. The mirror almost touches the handlebars and the car starts to pull left before it has fully passed.
Scenario 3: You are in a carpark (1 of 2).
You are walking from your car to the supermarket. Near the end of the row of cars you are walking along you hear a bootlid slam nearly hard enough to smash the glass out of it. The engine starts. The revs soar to 4000rpm and the car creeps out the space. You see the steering wheel being fed up and down up and down, but not enough or fast enough to steer the car clear of the parking space. The revs drop. There is an awful grating sound and a crunch as reverse gear is selected and the revs head skyward. The car creeps backward until it just brushes the bumper of the car next to it, leaving some scuff marks on both cars. First gear, 5000rpm, feeding steering wheel, slight smell of burning clutch, the car pulls away.
Scenario 4: You are on a pushbike (2 of 2).
You are cycling towards a traffic island. It's a 30 zone. These are a series of traffic islands that serve as crossing points for pedestrians, deliberate pinch points and to stop overtaking on that stretch of road. As you reach the island, the car, which has now arrived without slowing down realises that because this is a pinch point there is not enough space for a car and a cyclist to go through side by side. The car slams on the brakes and comes to a complete stop in the middle of the road with the traffic island in front of it. As the cyclist, you heard all this happen and look back at the driver, confirm it is a woman and notice a second car which has tried to pass the first car on the left because the driver has blindly driven into the situation without looking what is going on. Also a woman driver.
Scenario 5: You are in a carpark (2 of 2).
You are nearing the end of the row of cars you were walking along towards the supermarket. From behind you can hear a car going way too fast for in a carpark and it sounds its horn for an unnecessarily long time to alert you, which makes you jump. You turn and see the driver of the car that was struggling to pull out the space earlier, now wearing large sunglasses and muttering to herself.
Scenario 6: You are in a garage.
There is a woman complaining about the failed clutch in her car and can't believe it has only lasted 15,000 miles. She is complaining that they should last longer than that and wants it replaced on warranty. The car has scrapes on each corner, missing its wheel trims, two tyres that are too low and a 'little princess on board' sign hanging in the back. You see the look on the mechanic's face.
Please add your own...
