I want to throttle my neighbour's ****.

Morgoth · 11 May 2012 at 23:21

I'm wondering if the **** could be circumcised. And by that I mean remove it's vocal chords.

The Halk · 11 May 2012 at 23:24

Have you spoken to your neighbour yet?

"Could you do anything about the cockerel, it's annoying, ken like"

[FnG]magnolia · 11 May 2012 at 23:26

"GONNIE GET THAT WEE RAJ TO ******* SHUT UP? YEAH, I'M ASKING!"

deepbroca · 12 May 2012 at 01:05

If it's a noise nuisance surely your council can do something...

Reaper 392 · 12 May 2012 at 01:12

my biology teacher told me that you can hypnotise a chicken by repeatedly drawing a straight line starting from its beak going away from it. i have no idea how long it will last, but it should just stare at the line for ages, presumably silently.

BloodyL · 12 May 2012 at 01:18

Reaper 392 said:
my biology teacher told me that you can hypnotise a chicken by repeatedly drawing a straight line starting from its beak going away from it. i have no idea how long it will last, but it should just stare at the line for ages, presumably silently.

He's going to need a lot of pencils.

Naff8000 · 12 May 2012 at 01:19

We had a neighbour who went out every morning at 6:30am, smoked a fag and coughed so much you literally thought he was about to die. This was every morning, coughing his guts up. We got so annoyed one day we wrote him a semi polite/ semi ****ed letter and it turns out he had no idea it was affecting other people!!? He stopped right away after that. Write him a letter.

Bennie-Mac · 12 May 2012 at 01:28

Naff8000 said:
We had a neighbour who went out every morning at 6:30am, smoked a fag and coughed so much you literally thought he was about to die. This was every morning, coughing his guts up. We got so annoyed one day we wrote him a semi polite/ semi ****ed letter and it turns out he had no idea it was affecting other people!!? He stopped right away after that. Write him a letter.

Wow he stopped that involuntary action all because you asked him to? Kudos to him.

-Ad- · 12 May 2012 at 07:10

Bennie-Mac said:
Wow he stopped that involuntary action all because you asked him to? Kudos to him.

He stopped because he choked to death whilst reading the letter.

On the Chicken front we had a family move in about 5 houses up, city type moving out of London and getting into the farming lifestyle with Defenders, re-doing their house farmstyle, got a bull, cockrels etc.

Except that we don't live on farmland, there's some to the North of the Village, but said village is about 1/2 mile from the local town and our road is a nice plush private raod, not a freaking farm track.

Annoyed us a little (tempted by air guns

), but in the end we had nothing to worry about as the older NIMBY members would have formed their own 'home guard action force' and eventually the squaking stopped.

NIMBYS I'm grateful to for one time only.

Cosimo · 12 May 2012 at 08:32

I love the sound of a Cockerel in the morning. Who needs an alarm clock when you have one.

FARGO · 12 May 2012 at 08:57

Does it have a sleep button?

ANDARIAL · 12 May 2012 at 09:29

Some people are so inconsiderate.A neighbor of ours got 3 cocks quite a few years ago.Before that we got on fine,said hello etc etc.
Since then we have had words on every occasion i have to see the inconsiderate B******.
Mostly just walk on by and ignore him.he really hates that

Lately i have been trying laser pointers,i figure if the **** cant see he wont crow
Neighbor is a complete *** by the way,Drunk and a bully,mostly everyone dislikes him

[FnG]magnolia · 12 May 2012 at 09:31

3 cocks is pushing the limits of acceptability. You should talk to the Council about that, there's probably something they can do.

Cosimo · 12 May 2012 at 09:43

[FnG]magnolia;21897506 said:
3 cocks is pushing the limits of acceptability. You should talk to the Council about that, there's probably something they can do.

A marriage counsellor might be better than the council.

[FnG]magnolia · 12 May 2012 at 09:44

ZING!

ANDARIAL · 12 May 2012 at 09:56

[FnG]magnolia;21897506 said:
3 cocks is pushing the limits of acceptability. You should talk to the Council about that, there's probably something they can do.

We are in a small village,`out in the sticks`

Council are useless in places like this
The **** would just ignore anything they said anyway.He is that sort of a ****.
I am working on the laser application,that seems the best option

Nightglow · 12 May 2012 at 10:04

ANDARIAL said:
We are in a small village,`out in the sticks`
Council are useless in places like this
The **** would just ignore anything they said anyway.He is that sort of a ****.
I am working on the laser application,that seems the best option

You thinking of committing some fowl deed.

[FnG]magnolia · 12 May 2012 at 10:23

ANDARIAL said:
We are in a small village,`out in the sticks`
Council are useless in places like this
The **** would just ignore anything they said anyway.He is that sort of a ****.
I am working on the laser application,that seems the best option

They can't ignore three noisy cocks though, surely? Have you spoken to anyone about this because I'm certain there are rules and regulations which come into play when dealing with animal noise.

The Halk · 12 May 2012 at 10:27

The Environmental Protection Act covers it I think - urr... perhaps drop in to your police station and ask them about it?

ANDARIAL · 12 May 2012 at 10:33

I would rather not take the `legal` police council route.As i said the man is a **** and would know who complained,other neighbors don't seem to be bothered .i think i am the only near one who has a bedroom on the side facing the chickens
He will get his one day though,he is getting older and surely must die soon,well fingers crossed anyway