Problems at work...what do I do now?

TrixiBuG

TrixiBuG

TrixiBuG

Associate
Joined
24 Aug 2011
Posts
1,994
Location
Manchester UK
Hi GD - need some advise from some outside sources

Some of you may or may not know that I work in an IT department, and I have a problem with the guy who I have to work with...

Long and short of it is that I cant stand him. Everything about him, is voice, is way of working - everything. And he is my boss and sat next to me in the office

Now I have had some bad news regarding my dad recently and this has been on my mind a lot. Add to that the fact I have had some health issues that haven't been resolved and a biopsy (which is unrelated to the other health issues) so its safe to say I've not been in the 'work' zone so to speak

I have basically cut out all the niceties with this guy - I speak to him when I have to. I answer him when he asks a question.

This was not going unnoticed by the rest of the office - in fact its well known me an Jim* don't get on. So I spoke to the office manager on Friday about things and said that I am finding it very difficult to work with him and is there anything he can do? Move me so I don't have to work with him directly etc. He said he would have a think.

Well an hour later Jim asks for a 'word' and takes me into a meeting room...and HR was there! Jim proceeded to ask me all sorts of questions, saying that he feels ignored by me etc etc...after a very heated 20 mins I asked for him to leave the room so I could speak frankly to HR where I told HR the whole truth - how I feel about him etc etc. Baring in mind I was not told at any point I would be having a meeting about my conduct or anything...just a whisper in my ear by Jim saying 'can I have a word please?'

I was asked what they could do to fix this - I said not a lot cause 2 directors have tried and failed to sort this out over the last 2 years. I was asked if i had any written evidence of speaking to these directors and I said no cause they were verbal meeting with company DIRECTORS! I was told by HR that it sounds like I have already made my mind up that nothing is going to change and unless I change my attitude there is no way they can try and help...

I was then told that unless my attitude changes I will be up for a disciplinary!

At this point I was beyond upset, so they sent me home (how kind)

This morning, having had the weekend and Monday off to have a think, I sent the following email to HR...needless to say they didn't/haven't replied:

Hi


I would like to speak to you about the meeting on Friday

First things first, I didn’t like the way I was pulled into the meeting without any prior warning. The reason why my answers to any questions were muddled up or confusing is because I felt like a rabbit in the headlights. I felt cornered.

To be honest with you, if Jim had tried to speak to me regarding my attitude in the office before calling a meeting, things might have been different. There has been no attempt by Jim to speak to me – and seeing that he is my manager, I feel like this is a large oversight on his part.

In the past, he has taken me to one side to speak to me and this has worked, better than pulling me out of the office 30 mins before I was due to leave for the day. I understood where he was coming from (in the past) and we worked passed any issues. After Friday’s meeting, I feel like it’s made the gap between us wider. The meeting also made me late for my scheduled Doctors appointment, which I had to remake and attend yesterday after having a hospital biopsy, so it impacted on the whole day for me.

The reasons why I have been in different or uninterested during the last few weeks were advised to you in the latter half of the meeting and I stand by these, but I also recognise (now I have had time to reflect on the meeting) that I should have spoken to yourself or [office manager] sooner and cleared the air myself.

I would also like to say that after I, voluntarily, spoke to [office manager] on Friday I felt a lot better about the situation and was starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. The meeting, with yourself and Jim, throw my positive thoughts out of the window and left me feeling very low and extremely upset.

Another ‘gripe’ I have at the moment with my working position is my pay. My pay/wage does not reflect the work I do nor the experience and knowledge I have. Also after finding out a few other peoples salaries (I will not name any names) I know that I am one of the lowest paid staff in the room. I know I do not have a degree or the IT ‘experience’ that a lot of staff who I work for do – but I know the system better than most, and to be honest, better than nearly all of the IT staff I work with. Considering the changes to the department that may be forth coming in the future, I feel that my knowledge on the system will be invaluable to the department. This also includes the amount of holiday entitlement I have – I know one team has 29 days.

I have raised this issue with [IT director] – last year (19th October – I have the email) – and he was told that the company was going through a review where every ones wages were going to be assessed, so he couldn’t do anything for me. I would like to know if this review is still ongoing.

In regards to instances where me and Jim have ‘clashed’ these are generally when he speaks over me, waves away my ideas, or takes issues off me because he thinks that he is ‘helping’. I find it has been detrimental to any learning experiences that I could have had in the department, as there are only so many times that I can try and keep my cool in the face of a ‘No, I’m right, you will listen to me’ attitude that Jim displays at times. It is not just with myself that he does this, but other staff ignore him or just let him get on with it, where as I want to learn – NEED to learn – and I won’t be able to do that if I just let it go. I think that he only does this when he is stressed out, but I was brought in to work WITH him and to take some of the work load off – this has not happened.

Something that [IT director] said to both of us last year came back to me on the weekend. During a meeting where I was saying that Jim took my work from me and I don’t feel like I am learning anything, [IT director] turned to Jim and said ‘If you get hit by a bus tomorrow, we are screwed. You need to teach her things’. This still applies, and even more so now we have a 3rd member to the Testing Team. Yet I feel like I still only know the basics, and when work or issues are taken off my hands, this reduces my chance of learning anything else.

On a final note. Jim has been issuing me and [member of staff] with ‘To Do Lists’ every day now since May. He mentioned in the meeting that this was helpful for him to know where me and [member of staff] are up to and what we are working on – well what he gave us to do plus a few extra tickets. What I would like to know is what Jim is working on day to day. This is following up from the comment I made above. If he is absent from the office for any length of time, there is no way me and [member of staff] have any real idea what he has been doing. Yes we get copied into emails and such, and we do the same to him. But it is very hard for us to reverse investigate every incident that he has been working on, when all we have are emails and/or tickets. On more than one occasion the tickets we are trying to work on when he is absent are not up to date, so it makes the job even harder. I feel like we need to know the key things that are going on, every day, in the same detail as what me and [member of staff] put in our response emails every evening. Or if he is going on leave he needs to send us a rundown of what he thinks we need to know. I have done this for him, when he was returning to the office and I was going on leave. I sent him emails indicating stuff that he really needed to know about. We don’t tend to get any such courtesy.

Going forward, I will be professional as long as my position requires me to work with Jim. I can’t stretch this to any niceties or any fluff, but I will not ignore him, when he speaks to him (not that I did anyway – I just don’t look him in the eye) and I will do my job as required. However if a job offer comes up outside of the company, which I feel I will be better suited to, then I will be taking the position. Similarly, if another position opens within the company, as long as the pay and working hours are suitable.

I understand if you want to discuss any of these points further.

Thanks

[me]
Click to expand...


I have omitted the names for privacy reasons

What do I do now? Is there anything I can do?

I love my job and having been here for 5 years and working on this system for all that time in different departments have given me a huge insight to how this system works, so I am in the best job role for me here...but he is making my job really hard and unbearable and I don't think HR have my back anymore...

Sorry if this is very long and you cba reading it, just really need some advice on whats happened and what I can do now going forward?

*Jim is not his real name
 
I think you might need to clarify whats wrong because it currently reads like you simply find your boss 'annoying' and dont like 'his voice' etc. Does he actually do anything to you? Surely as your boss he is entitled to ask what you are working on whereas it would be totally inappropriate for you to demand a list of what he is working on? He 'takes work away from you' but as your manager its surely up to him who he allocates work to. I can appreciate this might be annoying and I'm sure he's a less than stellar manager but...

I'm sure there is more to it than this but I think you need to clarify.
 
Sorry to say it, but if he is an idiot, and is also your boss, you'll have to like it or lump it. Look for another job.

No point seeking a tribunal or anything else. Far too much emotional and mental stress to bother. Take your services elsewhere. :)
 
I was a little confused by your letter. At one point, you state you have the most knowledge in the room but then later on you state you feel you only know the basics?? May be me reading it wrong though??

edit: Yup, I think I'm a twonk and mis-understood..ignore me!
 
You have your answer in the last paragraph of your email.

However if a job offer comes up outside of the company, which I feel I will be better suited to, then I will be taking the position. Similarly, if another position opens within the company, as long as the pay and working hours are suitable.
Click to expand...


alangelluk said:
I was a little confused by your letter. At one point, you state you have the most knowledge in the room but then later on you state you feel you only know the basics?? May be me reading it wrong though??
Click to expand...


I also read it like that, shrugged it off though as I imagine it's on about different systems perhaps.
 
Looks like your letting office politics get in the way.

Its a learning curve, but i would never trust HR, they are only good for making sure you have your holidays. Anything else HR do is useless.

Dont get sucked into it all. The last thing your should be doing is telling them that you would take another job! Why on earth should they care?
 
However if a job offer comes up outside of the company, which I feel I will be better suited to, then I will be taking the position. Similarly, if another position opens within the company, as long as the pay and working hours are suitable.
Click to expand...
You shouldn't have said that.
 
Sorry Trixi, but you sound like a handful to me :( I'm very sorry about your various "life issues" and sincerely hope you get them all sorted. At the end of the day though, we all have problems and have to put up with coworkers we don't get on with. If you don't feel like you can resolve the issue then find another job. I've been there before, trust me!

EDIT: as already said, you've done yourself no favors with that letter. HR have probably stamped "BEWARE - HIGH MAINTENANCE" across your file now :(
 
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The whole 'I would get work elsewhere if the offer comes up' thing will backfire horribly on you. They will try to get rid of you.
In some companies, saying that you will get a job somewhere else if the opportunity arises is grounds for disciplinary action and even dismissal.
 
What Curio said. Sorry to be harsh but you sound like one of these people that let office politics run your life. You sound like a troublemaker and that's after hearing your side! If you dont like your boss (and that's all it sounds like) then you're simply not in a position to argue with anyone. Youre letter comes across as very childish ('but he did this, and he didn't do that') and I almost laughed out loud when you brought up pay. Because that's relevant, right? I think this is a case of picking your battles..

Oh, and don't trust HR with anything. Once it goes down that route you're screwed. As said, theyre only good for giving holidays or p45s..
 
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[TW]Fox;22269019 said:
I think you might need to clarify whats wrong because it currently reads like you simply find your boss 'annoying' and dont like 'his voice' etc. Does he actually do anything to you? Surely as your boss he is entitled to ask what you are working on whereas it would be totally inappropriate for you to demand a list of what he is working on? He 'takes work away from you' but as your manager its surely up to him who he allocates work to. I can appreciate this might be annoying and I'm sure he's a less than stellar manager but...

I'm sure there is more to it than this but I think you need to clarify.
Click to expand...

That is how I read it.
 
Curio said:
Sorry Trixi, but you sound like a handful to me :( I'm very sorry about your various "life issues" and sincerely hope you get them all sorted. At the end of the day though, we all have problems and have to put up with coworkers we don't get on with. If you don't feel like you can resolve the issue then find another job. I've been there before, trust me!

EDIT: as already said, you've done yourself no favors with that letter. HR have probably stamped "BEWARE - HIGH MAINTENANCE" across your file now :(
Click to expand...

+1

I really can't believe you actually sent that email, you talk about professonal behaviours and then send that out.

I think 'Jim' was also right to have a meeting and bring in HR as he needs to ensure that he managing the situation for the best of all involved.

Did you actually put some thought into your email (your 2nd to last paragraph) sums it up for me - you are that much in demand you can get a job anywhere. Looks like Jim needs to ensure he has a succession plan in place for you, if he hasn't already so the company isn't impacted when you leave.

Don't bother looking for Constructive Dismissal on this one as your email provides enough evidence that the company has done nothing wrong in terms of process and procedure.

*Shakes Head* You don't get on with your boss and this is how you react
 
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