I'd buy OCUK, take over the forums and become sole mod, modding where I see fit.
Within months the userbase would shrink to abysmal levels, my desperation would increase and the remaining posters would be sickened to see my pathetic mewling attempts to try and fit in, to just have some friends.
One day I wake up in a pool of my own blood and vomit only to find that in my drunken state I've started a 'Why am I so sad?' thread in GD, that my name has been changed to 'anal_botherer' and that I am somehow permabanned from the forums.
That afternoon I hang myself from the Nvidia racking, but botch the job, partially severing my spinal cord and paralysing myself from the neck down.
From then on I am bed bound, my only communication to the outside world are my desperately darting eyes, and my tears.
Weeks turn to months, and months turn to years and I find myself alone in my mansion, smarting from the latest series of abuses from my 'carers', my mental despair and desperation builds, I feel a tension in my head, a dangerous tension, I hold onto the feeling while a racking headache shudders from the back of my head, taking over all thought, the room rocks as my body convulses in spasm and I feel bile pouring up through my throat.
Tears of happiness blossom as the sweet, choking release of death embraces me and I can finally sleep.
Chris, I hope I don't win.
