Life in my city

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I'm a long, long time lurker, and I feel I've demonstrated huge self control by not posting until now - I'm a recovering forumaholic!

I've been struggling with this for a while, and have no-one particularly sympathetic, so I wonder if I could burden some of you guys....


I'm 23, and live in a small town a half hour drive from the city centre.
I've lived here for a large part of my life, save for early childhood, and three years at university.
Since graduating, I moved back in with my parents, quickly found work and got my first place. This was at first with a girlfriend - we've since separated.

The appeals of the town are many - it's a great, friendly area with plenty of facilities, and we have a fantastic selection of friends who have moved back, or never moved away. I know everyone, I know my way around, and there's nothing particularly wrong with the place.

But I'm terribly bored of being here. I'm awfully jealous of the friends that moved away to city centres and are living lives with pleasures of proximity, out doing new things and seeing new places. My work isn't challenging anymore, and there are plenty of opportunities perfect for me elsewhere that I'd be good at.

So, I'm wrestling between staying and stagnating, or taking a plunge and moving elsewhere completely, leaving my large group of friends behind. I was hoping some of you would have some experiences with similar situations you could share - and failing that, your opinions.
 
Just leave. I moved out of the family home when I was 16, and went to live in Glasgow from a town in Aberdeenshire. It was the best decision ever.

No point dwelling on it, and there's no point in planning that move extensively. Just pick a city, grab a bag and off you go.
 
Move!

I did, essentially the first chance (I was 18) I got I moved out of home, to a city about an hour away from where I grew up, not far I know. but that gave me a sense of independence. from there I moved to London, it was the best thing I have ever done. I made tonnes of new friends from work and still see my true friends from my past every 3-6 months.

There is nothing more important that being challenged in life. who wants to sit through 90 years of boredom?
 
If you go and don't like it you can always return, but if you don't go you could forever be left with a what if? For that reason alone I would go :)
 
The grass isn't always greener, when I was younger I always wanted to live in a big city but now would actually prefer somewhere quiet, out of the way with lots of land :)
 
phil675 said:
The grass isn't always greener, when I was younger I always wanted to live in a big city but now would actually prefer somewhere quiet, out of the way with lots of land :)
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This is one of my biggest troubles - I absolutely love where I am! It's quiet, and there are people.

But I want a challenge, almost an adventure.

My time at university was relatively positive... It encouraged me to be very creative, try new things... But I struggled with making close friends, especially compared to what I have here. I worry I'd miss that too much.
 
We've all got problems kid - Fact of [modern] life I'm afraid.

My advice would be that no matter what you do some form of **** will follow you about and you will just end up with different problems to deal with, so just do what you feel is right and what your gut is telling you right now. If you don't you will regret it.
 
I haven't lived in the place I was born since I left University and prior to that I was at boarding school so barely lived there anyway. I went to London on graduation and while I have been for visits I can't imagine what it is like to always live somewhere and never move on.

I would try something else..you redefine yourself as a person if you go somewhere else and you meet new and interesting people.
 
phil675 said:
The grass isn't always greener, when I was younger I always wanted to live in a big city but now would actually prefer somewhere quiet, out of the way with lots of land :)
Click to expand...

That's fine, but wouldn't it be even worse if you hadn't experienced the big city? There is no reason you can't do both, and do both again and again. The worst thing about life isn't what you do, it's what you don't do.
 
Do it and make the most from the opportunity's you open up to yourself.
No regrets and all that :)

Outline said:
But I struggled with making close friends, especially compared to what I have here. I worry I'd miss that too much.
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I wouldnt worry to much about that its just life! Some of the best friendships are born through school, you cant gauge friendships on those that were forged through school.
 
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Do it. I moved from a small suburb of a **** city to Leeds and it was literally the best decision I've ever made. I found some awesome new friends (and still see my old ones too) and have been having great times ever since.
 
Thats funny because I'm a long, long time lurker, and I feel I've demonstrated huge self control by not posting until now - I'm a recovering forumaholic!

I've been struggling with this for a while, and have no-one particularly sympathetic, so I wonder if I could burden some of you guys....


I'm 23, and live in a small town a half hour drive from the city centre.
I've lived here for a large part of my life, save for early childhood, and three years at university.
Since graduating, I moved back in with my parents, quickly found work and got my first place. This was at first with a girlfriend - we've since separated.

The appeals of the town are many - it's a great, friendly area with plenty of facilities, and we have a fantastic selection of friends who have moved back, or never moved away. I know everyone, I know my way around, and there's nothing particularly wrong with the place.

But I'm terribly bored of being here. I'm awfully jealous of the friends that moved away to city centres and are living lives with pleasures of proximity, out doing new things and seeing new places. My work isn't challenging anymore, and there are plenty of opportunities perfect for me elsewhere that I'd be good at.

So, I'm wrestling between staying and stagnating, or taking a plunge and moving elsewhere completely, leaving my large group of friends behind. I was hoping some of you would have some experiences with similar situations you could share - and failing that, your opinions.
 
Outline said:
I'm a long, long time lurker, and I feel I've demonstrated huge self control by not posting until now - I'm a recovering forumaholic!

I've been struggling with this for a while, and have no-one particularly sympathetic, so I wonder if I could burden some of you guys....


I'm 23, and live in a small town a half hour drive from the city centre.
I've lived here for a large part of my life, save for early childhood, and three years at university.
Since graduating, I moved back in with my parents, quickly found work and got my first place. This was at first with a girlfriend - we've since separated.

The appeals of the town are many - it's a great, friendly area with plenty of facilities, and we have a fantastic selection of friends who have moved back, or never moved away. I know everyone, I know my way around, and there's nothing particularly wrong with the place.

But I'm terribly bored of being here. I'm awfully jealous of the friends that moved away to city centres and are living lives with pleasures of proximity, out doing new things and seeing new places. My work isn't challenging anymore, and there are plenty of opportunities perfect for me elsewhere that I'd be good at.

So, I'm wrestling between staying and stagnating, or taking a plunge and moving elsewhere completely, leaving my large group of friends behind. I was hoping some of you would have some experiences with similar situations you could share - and failing that, your opinions.
Click to expand...


Do you still want to be there in 10 years time, doing the same thing, with the same people?

If yes, fine. If no, start doing something now.

We can't tell you what you want to do but reading your post it certainly sounds like you want to be told to move.
 
Whereabouts are you now and where were you thinking of moving to? Or is it just a general idea of moving to a city that appeals?
 
Thats funny because I'm a long, long time lurker, and I feel I've demonstrated huge self control by not posting until now - I'm a recovering forumaholic!

I've been struggling with this for a while, and have no-one particularly sympathetic, so I wonder if I could burden some of you guys....


I'm 23, and live in a small town a half hour drive from the city centre.
I've lived here for a large part of my life, save for early childhood, and three years at university.
Since graduating, I moved back in with my parents, quickly found work and got my first place. This was at first with a girlfriend - we've since separated.

The appeals of the town are many - it's a great, friendly area with plenty of facilities, and we have a fantastic selection of friends who have moved back, or never moved away. I know everyone, I know my way around, and there's nothing particularly wrong with the place.

But I'm terribly bored of being here. I'm awfully jealous of the friends that moved away to city centres and are living lives with pleasures of proximity, out doing new things and seeing new places. My work isn't challenging anymore, and there are plenty of opportunities perfect for me elsewhere that I'd be good at.

So, I'm wrestling between staying and stagnating, or taking a plunge and moving elsewhere completely, leaving my large group of friends behind. I was hoping some of you would have some experiences with similar situations you could share - and failing that, your opinions.
 
If you are young & single & not planning on having kids any-time soon, I'd move away.

If you think you will want a family in the next five years I'd stay.

Just make sure you put in some time to make some friends & have some money saved up if you do move.
 
It doesn't sound like your small town has changed much over the years so even if you did move into town and it didn't work out for whatever reason I'd imagine it would still be pretty much as you left it. Consider it a safety net.

But I'm terribly bored of being here. I'm awfully jealous of the friends that moved away to city centres and are living lives with pleasures of proximity, out doing new things and seeing new places. My work isn't challenging anymore, and there are plenty of opportunities perfect for me elsewhere that I'd be good at.

So, I'm wrestling between staying and stagnating, or taking a plunge and moving elsewhere completely
Click to expand...

This is you basically saying that you want to move but without using those words :)
 
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