Child forced to drink own urine

Colbaker said:
Yep, you do not have children so cannot comment.
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Why not exactly? I don't get why people see this as a valid argument... It almost always comes from the people who find nothing wrong with hitting their children too. Perhaps it's because they think the only way to learn about parenting is to have a kid? Perhaps that's why they hit them...

People are against people hitting their partners, but think nothing of them hitting their children. One's an adult in a voluntary relationship and the other is completely defenseless and dependant on the parent... The latter is unquestionably way worse, no?
 
UncleRuckus said:
You text the Mother telling her your intentions?
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yes, of course, she is still the mother of the children and can and would withhold access to the children when this blows up.

If you was in a situation where fighting access for children happens in your life, you would step on the side of caution also as soon as she says "no" you have at least 3 months of fighting in court to gain access.

I've been there before and it cost me a lot of time and money just because she said "no, I don't agree with your opinion so access denied" I got my access at the first hearing yet that took months to come, in which time the children didn't see me and I had to post a mobile in the door just to talk to them!

I will go to any length to protect them even if this thread seems otherwise, I will be going to all authorities tomorrow and have spoken to NSPCC who agree my course of action is the best route to take.
 
EdGey said:
in the meantime whilst you're pussy footing, is your child going to be going back there? Or is he not staying there in the next few days.
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how many times to people need to be told that OP has no say in where his kid stays because as a father his rights get instantly taken away by any mother that wants to take them


OP see the school (who will have a social services contact) they can probably back your thoughts of abuse up too for example if theyve noticed a change in your kids behaviour
 
Castiel said:
And on a separate note, Children do not need to be smacked, you do not need to reinforce bad behaviour with violence, you can simply remove the child from the danger and children, even very young children understand tone, volume and body language to an extent that the actual physical contact of a smack is not required.
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25 year old daughter still understands tone and I've never smacked her because I didn't need to where the 23 year old still doesn't understand tone and when she was younger I had to smack her about 5 times so she didn't end up killing herself.
It wasn't possible to take her out of the danger areas so a little smack sufficed with no tears.
 
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Or what Morba's mrs said!
 
Lysander said:
Especially six year olds need to be smacked. I was smacked by my parents and my school. They were not taking their anger out on me, but showing me my actions were unacceptable. I was a child and it was language I understood.
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I agree, but it's going out of fashion to discipline kids these days.

There was a kid screaming his head off in the library the other day. The mother refused to punish him. He just kept screaming, and screaming, and screaming "no Mummy I don't want this book! No, no mummy!" Over and over.

Nobody said or did anything. The kid just screamed and the mother just kept repeating "How about this one? No? This one?"

It was truly bizarre. I would have smacked the kid and frankly let him know that screaming his head off over a book is unacceptable.

But then people here would call me a "Neanderthal".
 
ask the child how much wee was in the glass/cup.

you wouldnt be able to squeeze much from a sheet so if he says it was full etc you know it really was orange/ginger beer
 
Richand said:
yes, of course, she is still the mother of the children and can and would withhold access to the children when this blows up.

If you was in a situation where fighting access for children happens in your life, you would step on the side of caution also as soon as she says "no" you have at least 3 months of fighting in court to gain access.

I've been there before and it cost me a lot of time and money just because she said "no, I don't agree with your opinion so access denied" I got my access at the first hearing yet that took months to come, in which time the children didn't see me and I had to post a mobile in the door just to talk to them!

I will go to any length to protect them even if this thread seems otherwise, I will be going to all authorities tomorrow and have spoken to NSPCC who agree my course of action is the best route to take.
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No! I would be calling the police NOW because my child was forced to drink urine. But well done champ, you've now given the Mother and the uncle enough time to bake up a story for when the social workers come knocking.
 
"andy" said:
how many times to people need to be told that OP has no say in where his kid stays because as a father his rights get instantly taken away by any mother that wants to take them


OP see the school (who will have a social services contact) they can probably back your thoughts of abuse up too for example theyve noticed a change in your kids behaviour
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Exactly andy, As you seem to know, we have very little power and are actually seen by mothers as glorified babysitters, my ex called me this in court, which made the (female judge) smile, yes smile!!

she continues to get CSA while she withholds access, fair world.
 
Dimple said:
No they're not, they'd be looking all over the place and fidgeting.
I'm not even going to debate this because it's ludicrous to suggest otherwise.
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A child is similar to a mental patient, what they say makes little sense and could be largely fantasy, the world of a child and that of a mental patient needs to be properly thought through and double checked.

There is also the fact that communication is also a problem, the definition, grammar and context are bad as they are still learning, so its possible to be mis-understood.

There is also the fact that a child needs to learn lying is bad, they will only be fidgeting if they understand this concept along with things like fear, empathy etc.
 
steve-h said:
Why not exactly? I don't get why people see this as a valid argument... It almost always comes from the people who find nothing wrong with hitting their children too. Perhaps it's because they think the only way to learn about parenting is to have a kid? Perhaps that's why they hit them...

People are against people hitting their partners, but think nothing of them hitting their children. One's an adult in a voluntary relationship and the other is completely defenseless and dependant on the parent... The latter is unquestionably way worse, no?
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Once again hitting is different from smacking, you do not hit a child to hurt them, in my opinion hitting should not be used as a punishment and I have only felt the need to do it twice, both times worked and were only used after exhausting all other avenues. If you don't have children you won't fully understand, the same goes for if you are a father that only actually sees the child for an hour in the evening and on the weekend ( like most working fathers) I bet you wife's have smacked your child even if they don't tell you.
 
The NSPCC agree with speaking to a teacher first?
You've had professional opinion in this thread and a charities opinion.
1 of which deals with contact from police and directly with social services over matters like these and worse, the other is a charitable worker.

Tbh I don't think the NSPCC would agree with you.
 
Colbaker said:
Once again hitting is different from smacking
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Do you smack your partner?

Colbaker said:
both times worked and were only used after exhausting all other avenues.
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How about removing them from whatever situation that YOU put them in that you considered to be 'extremely dangerous'?

arknor said:
some kids need a smack in the real world :P
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dumb dumb talk for 'im a bad parent who doesn't have a Brian' I'm afraid.
 
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Colbaker said:
I disagree as I would because I am pro smacking, you disagree with me as you would because you are con smacking, this will go round and round in circles, ultimately neither of us should tell the other how to raise our children but obviously have the right to agree or disagree with each other.

My now 6 year old is very grounded, well behaved and is often commented on as a nice polite boy ( his teacher said he is the politest boy she has ever met), I doubt he even remembers me smacking him but at the time took his attention away from what he was doing, as said it was not to hurt or even mark him but he understood that what he was doing was very naughty ( I had tried other routes first).

As said we will never agree
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I wouldn't presume to tell you how to bring up your children...I simply have never needed to smack in order to instill discipline or fear of danger. I just disagee that its needed, rather than making a specific judgement about smacking overall. I certainly do not think that smacking should be banned or a matter for the state to regulate.....of course it is all about scale however.


Like Dimple says, he has one daughter where smacking wasn't necessary and another where it was, so for him in his situation maybe, I cannot judge another on something I have not witnessed....I can only go by my own experience which if i am being objective is biased due to my extremely abusive and violent childhood so I am triplely aware of what violence can do to a child. That is not to equate what I went through with a light smack however, I would just be very careful about how and when to use such a technique and always find an alternative....it would be a last resort for me, luckily I have never felt it necessary.
 
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Oh for gods sake, smacking a child doesn't make a bad parent, this isn't what the thread is about though so high horse or not, take it else where
 
UncleRuckus said:
No! I would be calling the police NOW because my child was forced to drink urine. But well done champ, you've now given the Mother and the uncle enough time to bake up a story for when the social workers come knocking.
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Which will still make the abuse stop "what if he tells daddy again?"

I think you are missing the point, I want my children safe from abuse, and if nothing comes out of reporting this abuse, they will still have learnt a lesson in parenting and know that actions come with consequence.

Obviously I don't want this outcome, I want the ******* taken away from the home and a injunction against him from being around the children.
 
I don't get it, non physically damaging smacking is traumatising but yelling at a kid to discipline it is not? Surely they are both mental punishments achieved through different methods.
 
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